A letter from my son, 'from Belgaum with love"

Igat flew to India on 13 July to start his 5-year degree programme in dentistry at the KLE Dental School, reputed to be one of the top dental schools in India. Dad and I sent him off to KL and I couldnt stop my tears from flowing when we bade our goodbyes. Some parents were no better: one father, a Chinese, was crying as he hugged his daughter goodbye. Sama ta bekesingut bala kami ke indai, apai urang malam nya...

Igat was the last to enter the departure hall as he was briefed by the JPA officers (Igat was chosen as the group leader) on the travel itinerary, contact persons and things to do on arrival at Bangalore. After he bade goodbye to someone significant who also saw him off, (pangan uhang meh nya), dadi and I blessed him and off he stepped on the escalator. Nasit mata tubah buntau udah bekau ngerami Maie ke nikah, nya alai tua dadi lalu tinduk udah tua datai ba rumah sa Maie di USJ, nadai endur emo. Ma enda, chukup enda nyamai, udah begulai bebala mayuh, nyu kediri tua melaki bini, ia ga rumah sa Maie puang, laban Maie enggau Dum udah nurun bebulan madu.

Two weeks had passed and thanks to ICT we can skype with Igat regularly. Our earlier anxieties were dispelled on hearing that he is adapting well to the new environment. When I read the email he sent us last weekend, I thanked God for His providence, for answering our prayers for Igat's wellbeing. Here's the email Igat sent us last week..

"HELLO PEOPLE...!

Sorry this e-mail took so long. I was busy settling in. On weekdays there were classes and by the time I got back to my hostel at the end of the day, I was exhausted. On weekends like this, I go shop for stuffs. Hehe.. Exploring Belgaum. Trying new eatery each time. Since we are just here for a few weeks, we were advised by seniors to take Hotel food only. Hotel tu kira Indian standard la. Baka hotel bala sida Riverfront ba kitai din. 2-3 stars. Maioh utai ulih dicerita aku. Hehe..

For our 1st year we have 5 subjects. 3 Medical subjects which are Biochemistry, Anatomy and Physiology. For Dental Subject, we have Dental Materials and Dental Anatomy and Histology. But for our exams, we sit for 4 subjects only excluding Dental Materials. Dental Materials tu dibelajar aja, but will sit for exam in 2nd year. Our class starts at 9am each day. One whole stretch until 1 Pm. Then we have lunch break for 1 hour. After that continue from 2pm until 5pm. For 1st half of the week (Mon, Tue, Wed) we mostly spend our time learning medical subjects at the medical faculty taught by medical professors/ Postgraduate students from the Jawaharlal Nehru Medical College (JNMC). For the 2nd part of the week (Thurs, Fri and Sat) we spend most of our time at the Dental Faculty. Which is called Vishawanath Katti Institute of Dental Science. As for Saturday, our class starts at 9am and ends at 1pm. Lectures are fun, and some are so so. The common thing is the knowledge is there for every lecturers.... Ulih ga aku ninga English sida ya. Bisi ke pekat endar Indianised English enda ku entu nemu. Haha... agi belajar ninga.

Makan everyday, kami ulih ngorder meals delivery to doorstep ari Momos and China Wall. China Wall bisi nyedia ka Msian food bala sida nasi goreng, char kway tiew etc. The closest to Msian food that we can have. About 60-150 Rps rega enti ngorder sekali. Enti ka mudah gik, makai ba MESS. MESS tu baka cafeteria. Everyday menu vegetarian everyday. Enti ka makai manok, telu ulih ngasuh sida ngoreng dibelakang. Sekali makai ba MESS tu bisi 80 Rps. Aku laban ke enda beleman, ulih aja makai. Just that, everyday almost the same food. Lelak ga makai utai sama kadang2. Aku nadai masalah ngirup ari ai filter machine urang ditu. Nadai stomachache apa indah. Ah Wei, udah kena stomachache. Balat ga ya kena ari nya. Dibai ke sepital tapi nda admitted. Thank God, kuman aku kebal gik. Haha....

Diatu udah single room aku. Umbas ya ga mal bebayar ke hostel fees ari nya. Room rate is rm330 per month. Taun tu 91K Rps kami perlu berbayar tambah ngau caution money. My room is comfy. Nadai ngiga lebih. Just that wardrobe betegal, kurap2 mimit. haha... But i'll live. Ka mandi shower suka ati, bisi heater maya pagi2 ti chelap amat. Electric and water bills all accounted for in fees. Bisi gym ga a room away from my room. Convenient ka workout taja equipment enda cukup. Senior ku workout ba gym luar. Enti ku udah cukup duit ila ka ngau sida. Pengawa kami, just meh belajar aja n adapt.

Ba class, kami bisi kira 60 iko org. laki 13 iko aja. kebukai semua local (tempe jako slang Msian ngagau local). Tempe manah ga ngau begulai. Tapi bedau nemu endar ga kati ati sida ya, lama2 ila temu meh, manah ke enda. Tapi, generally they are ok ga. Mai aku n Ah Wei meda wayang Hindi ba cinema sida saritu tadi. Ka meda wayang ba Nucleus Mall. Very small. Tapi bisi cinema showing Eng movies n Hindi movies. ;). Ba ditu, laki begulai ngau laki. Indu begulai ngau indu. Haha...

Weather is pleasant. Belgaum is 2500 above sea level. Highland. Nya alai maioh greenery ditu especially ba campus ground. Maioh old2 trees ka besai. Sejuk mata memandang. Hehe... Nya aja meh, tusah ka meda mata panas maya musim tu. Ujan aja2 tiap ari. But today, I can see the Sun!. ;)) Ulih la baju ke dibasu ku kering legi. Kami ba laundry ulih ngagau orang do laundry for us. Kira baka ama. Tapi aku ka nuci kediri. Bisi orang nyapu bilik n nuci jamban. Nya meh munyi ko aku tadi, nadai ngiga lebih ba hostel.

Learning environment kami mixed of old and new.Buildings peda aja ari luar baka ke tuai tapi utai di dalam canggih2 magang. Also applies to the lecture hall, class room n labs.

Actually living cost ba Belgaum is quite high kenu ko kawan tempe aku diri empu. They said in bigger places like Mumbai, Calcutta, makai sekali semina 20 Rps aja. Laban kami tu tanah tinggi, tusah ka beranjung supplies, engka nya mal kini. Aku makai seari bisi about 150 Rps. kira about rm10. Utai ditu bisi ke ridiculously murah, bisi ke ridiculously mal. Baka ari nya aku ka ngiga ironing board, RM 100 rega siti ! Pahai kitai. Urang tambi enda berterika baju kini. Haha... Laban Belgaum small "town", tusah ka ngiga utai ditu.... Tambah pan, urang ditu mostly maioh kurang mampu, nda maioh macam baka kitai, utai dikena. Haha... But I'll live. Have to improvise here and there a little bit..

In all, I think im settling well. .... I miss home. Yes, I miss u guys a bunch. Homesick. Nadai utai ulih ngelaban the comforts of home. But I'm strong and I will stay positive And I WILL study hard too.. For me being here, is an answered prayer. Not everyone has this kind of opportunity. Bendar sembiang ngambi ulih belajar ba overseas suba. Ba UK, Australia, angan2 suba, tapi tu utai diberi Tuhan, but I'll still be forever grateful n contented with what God has given me. For He will provide, and I shall never lack of anything. So I will keep going on and make the most of this opportunity. Keep me in your prayers k. ;))

Gambar, bedau aku upload. Buruk. Haha.... Gambar kawin pun bedau.. Meda gaya legi meh...
Maioh utai ulih dicerita aku. Tanya aja nama2. Hehe.. That's all for now folks..."

When I read the part about him praying for a scholarship, I remembered his disappointment when he found out that he will be sent to India. I consoled him, I told him not to look down at Indian universities, I told him to be humble. Kitai bendar besampi ngambika nuan bulih scholarship, tu Tuhan udah nyaut peminta kitai enda patut kitai enda beterima kasih, ku aku. To reject it would be disobedient. Kitai enda patut mikir we are too good for and dont deserve India but some better places, pia ku aku madahka Igat. I know that Mi, but it hurts nonetheless pia ku Igat. Puji Tuhan, Iya udah nyumanka Igat, diatu Igat udah nerima pemeri enggau ati ti tunduk. Thank you Lord.

Pengasai Baru

Sema urang nanya aku maya agi biak kelia sekalika aku kala berundingka diri empu belaki, nyadi indai, udah nya ngatur anak nikah, dah nya bisi uchu (God willing), saut aku sigi nadai, nadai mikir utai kia kelia. Tang diatu, munyi ku kenang aku dulu agi ari tu, nyu udah datai maya ke ngatur anak belaki, nyu ngatur ga tua dadi, Alex enggau Dot. Nasit meh kami tu sekampung, nyamai betemu, berandau. Sida Dot diau ba pesisir pantai Kidurong, kami diau ba pesisir pantai Tanjung Batu.

Au, Maie & Cris high school sweethearts. Udah Pom 5 Cris belajar A-levels, dah nya nyambung pelajar ka US. Udah tembu belajar Cris gawa di New York, lebih setaun, dah nya pulai ka menua. Udah nukuka Maie, Cris nurun belajar baru ka UK. Bakanya ku sejarah seduai. Aku tu ngambi risk nusi jerita urang ka kita, pahai aku di “mami!mami!” Maie legi ma iya macha blog tu… nya enda tau mayuh utai ditusi ditu pasal jerita urang ke bechinta munyi ku niang ini Sudan…

Aku ka bekunsika pengasai diri ngelamatu ke ngatur anak ke ka nikah.

Netapka ari bulan maya besabung jadi

Maie deka besabung jadi taun tu, bulan tujuh. Enti kita ngumbai netapka aribulan nya utai ti senang, think again, laban berapa kali kami nukar ari bulan, ketegal diri sebilik enggau kaban belayan ke semak minta aribulan ditetapka maya sida ulih datai. Pengujung dadi stepped in, don’t postpone until the end of the year, just choose a date that is most suitable for you and Cris, for it is your wedding, said Dadi. Family and friends who can make it will come, those who can’t will just have to miss it. Enti enda pia nyu kasih ga tudah anak nganti diri ke ulih nikah (ngasaika diri empu kelia he he). Tambah Maie begunaka sijil nikah kena iya minta upis sida mindahka iya gawa ke KL. Ma laun nikah, nyu laun ga minta pindah, nyu lama agi ga tudah anak be LDR.

So after consulting the parish priest, we had the date fixed – we ensured that it is not a feast day under the church liturgical calendar. Now we pray that our VIP loved ones – Sudan and Joo (Cris’ brother) will be there for the wedding for Maie & Cris want them to be the bridesmaid and best man respectively.

Milih endur ngadaka pengerami

Di Bintulu tu semina siti endur ti besai alai begempuru, ke ulih muat 100 iti mija.Tang bala anak enggai dia, piam meh dia ku jaku, kelalu besai meh ku jaku. Tua Dot ngeriut kening ngenang bilik jamban ke semak endur urang nyediaka pemakai, dipansa urang kin kia. Eh, ku dadi, ni kepala menteri, tuai pemegai menua, dia meh makai. Eh, ku aku nyaut, sida urang politik badu enda, begunaka endur besai betemu enggau rayat, nya alai enda milih.

Dah nya dadi sekali agi nukik pikir kami, munyi tu : Clinton naka pemesai pangkat, udah nyadi Presiden Amerika. Enti nunda ukai mimit urang dikelala iya, tang lebuh anak iya Chelsea nikah, muti 500 iku aja urang ke dibai iya rami. Enti tusah ngiga endur ke chukup, enda ulih kitai ngemimitka urang ke dikanggau, pia ku dadi. Alex madahka enggai nyadi enda nesau mayuh urang, laban bangat mayuh kaban, tambah sama-sama anak tuai ke nikah. Sigi enda bula, bala ba gerija udah madahka diri datai ila, taja pin kad tesau bedau diberi. Nya utai ti manah, bala pangan sama gagit, ka ngunsi pengaga kami ke nikahka anak.

Pikir punya pikir, kami lalu netapka dua iti pengerami di Bintulu, urang di menua dikanggau ngagai pengerami ti deka di atur di menua ga ila. Kami arapka bala kaban enggau pangan enda ensiban ati sema sida diungkupka endur ti enda nitihka peneka ati sida. Ukai ka nempina, tang laban bisi penanggul ba enalan, ditambahka enggau penanggul logistik.

Kami udah booking hotel & restaurant, pia mega udah baum ka bansa pemakai ke dinah maya lunch & dinner receptions.

Betemu enggau Paderi/Kursus Nikah/Kursus Natural Family Planning (NFP)

Nitihka atur gerija Katolik, sebedau nikah di gerija, seduai meseti kursus Nikah enggau Natural Family Planning. Father Michael (parish priest kami) lalu madahka aku, anang ngasuh seduai nikah ba JPN dulu, asuh nikah ba gerija dulu, ma enda setaun tikah enda diberekat ila ku Pada. Pahai wai enti sema aku udah bulih uchu dalam timpuh setaun nyu enda ulih dibaptisa tudah uchu ketegal apai indai ke sabung jadi dulu ba upis JPN, enda ba gerija dulu. Enti ngelanggar adat tu, Cris & Pi pin enda tau nerima holy communion semadi tikah seduai udah diberekat. Pada ngaga atur ti bakanya ukai nama, enggai ka bala anak ta begulai dulu meda diri ke udah nikah ba JPN, nyu enda nganti nerima sakramen sabung jadi ba gerija.

Puji Tuhan menyadi enggau ika aku sigi bisi peneleba meri kursus nikah, nya Maie & Cris udah kursus maya taun baru Cina tu kemari. Kursus nya ngentapka agi ajar pengarap senentang adat melaki bini, kelebih agi reti sakramen sabung jadi, ngajar kitai meseti tebuka ati nerima anak ke diberi Allah Taala, ngajar kitai anang nyekat diri beranak ngena chara ti bukai kelimpah ari natural family planning, bekeni ku kitai bekomunikasi sereta mutarka penyarut enggau pangan diri, senentang pekara wang, senentang ngiring bala anak, macham-macham meh.

Aku nyinuk diri ninga Tuai & Ayai ke ngajar seduai, kelebih agi ninga chunto ti diberi seduai. Kadang-kadang sigi tusah amat, ku Tuai, sweating blood, baka Jesus. Reti nya, kitai laki bini enda tau enda sedia meri diri empu (sacrifice) ka pangan diri, bala anak, baka Jesus ke meri nyawa diri ke kitai. Bekeni ku meri diri? Ngenuluka peneka bala anak/laki/bini (enti peneka nya patut) ari peneka kitai empu. Aku nyu teingatka ajar Patrick Madrid, siku Catholic apologist ke tebilang, ke diambi gerija kami ngajar sida ke lelaki taun 2009 suba (aku enggau dadi maya nya), apai iya suah ta ngirup kupi aja ma pagi, laban ngelakka kengka pemakai ti bisi, dipakai sida menyadi, laban sida ke mayuh tubuh, tambah kurang penatai pemisi.

Aku tuchum dalam ati ngenang Maie ke nyendiaka diri betemu enggau Fr Mike - bendar amat iya macha utai ti diajar menyadi aku, ni ke macha ari bup Catechism of the Catholic Church. Eh, panik aku tu mami, berasai enti aku enda nemu nyaut utai ti ditanya Father legi. Malu aku enti pil, ia ga seduai Aunty Dot ta sama pengajar pengarap, pia ku Maie. Just try your best to answer, enda Father nanya lebih ari utai ti di ajar enggau batang pengarap kitai, ku aku menyamai ati iya. Maya seduai betemu enggau Fr Mike, Pada muti nukuka peneka seduai jadi enggau pangan diri, nanyaka pengangkun seduai ke ajar pengarap - sigi meruan tanya saut ti ditulis dalam siti pom. Dah Pada puas ati enggau saut seduai, Pada lalu netapka aribulan maya besabung jadi.

Dah nya Dot lalu meri Maie surat ajar pasal NFP, puji Tuhan laban Dot kepala Human Life Service kami di Bintulu. Maie di asuh berengkah charting (nitihka Billings ovulation method) ari bulan dua suba. NFP ngajar natural family planning methods – no pills, no IUCD, no rubber, no patch, no injection. Mayuh bala pangan ke udah pas amat ngena NFP, sida ulih nyarangka diri beranak.

Pengepas tauka enda nitihka NFP sigi bepanggai ba pengulih kitai melaki bini nagang diri begulai maya bini ke subur. Maya ke subur ulih ditemu nengah charting – kitai ngerikut maya kitai indu bisi pansut lendir. Kitai indu ngeluarka telu sekali aja sebulan, telu kitai ke mansau ulih idup kira-kira 12-14 jam aja. Enti ia enda disuburka ai urang lelaki maya nya, telu kitai mati, dah nya kitai datai kutor. Ai urang lelaki semina ulih idup enda ngelui ari 3-5 ari ba tubuh kitai indu, ia begunaka lendir kitai kena iya ngelawa telu kitai. Enti kitai beleman enggau laki maya ovulation period, nya kitai ke ulih ngandung. Enti kitai begulai enggau laki ba maya bukai, selamat pok!

Nitihka adat gerija, laki bini meseti sedia nerima anak ke diberi Tuhan, seduai mega enda tau nyekat diri beranak ngena chara bukai kelimpah ari NFP. Ku gerija, marriage is a covenant, each time a husband and wife consummate the marriage (ma seduai begulai), seduai ngemaruka sempekat, so God uses it to give new life. To renew the marriage covenant and using birth control to destroy the potential for new life is profane – it is profane laban kitai enda masa utai ti kudus, laban marriage is a covenant, it’s sacred. Pia mega gerija nagang kitai indu bebuai. Ba Bup Kudus, (Genesis 38:9-10) Onan di ukum Allah Taala, iya mati tekalanya, ketegal iya muai ai ti tau nyadi anak lebuh iya beleman enggau Tamar (coitus interruptus – ia nya nyabut utai iya sebedau ai mani pansut, ngambi indu enda ngandung).

Kelia semua gerija, nyengkaum gerija protestan, nyengkaum tuai reformasi gerija protestan – Martin Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, Knox, sigi niri negika adat ti nagang beranak ngena chara bepakaika pil, tauka chara sekat bukai ti enda semulajadi, tang dah nya semua gerija bukai ngelekaka adat nya. Gerija Anglika ngelekaka adat nya ba Council of Lambeth, dalam taun 1930. Nya alai diatu semina gerija katolik ke negika adat nya.

Baju, bungai, kad

Bulan dua tu kemari mega kami duai menyanak nempah baju kena Maie nikah di gerija. Mula ia aku bepikir bekeni ke stail ti ngam ba anak aku, kada aku nemu milih, ku ati aku din. Tang nyamai amat diatu laban bisi internet, nya Maie lalu shortlist ni bagi tukang ngaga baju bridal gown ke ka enggau betemu. Kami duai nempah baju iya ari bridal boutique di Damansara. Nyamai amat laban tukang ke ngaga baju ngembuan peneleba, iya ngelukis dua iti pisin baju, ni pemilih tua menyanak. Dah nya milih kain. Maie rinduka lace, nya alai kami duai milih offwhite, vintage French lace. Bulan empat ila, udah abis musin Lent, baru fitting.

Maie enggau Paulyn, tukang ke ngaga baju kena iya nikah ba gerija.

Ba kedai nyual bungai di Petaling Street - sida ulih ngirumka bungai ka Bintulu, kitai semina nempah & mayar dulu. Enti kitai empu ngatur, kitai meseti minta permit ari upis betanam. Enda tusah bulih permit laban sida nulung kitai meri maklumat ti dipinta upis betanam. Enti nengah florist ke bisi di Bintulu, kitai enda ibuh minta permit, tang rega sigi tinggi agi laban kitai meli ari florist ditu. Jauh amat bida rega, ditu sepating bungai lily RM25, di KL semina RM8 aja. Bala pangan aku ke sigi ngaduka floral arrangment di gerija, betuaika Helen, deka ngaduka floral arrangment ba gerija ila. Maie deka baum enggau sida, bekeni ke atur rias ti dikedeka seduai Cris.

Aku mega nyempulang Maie & Cris betemu enggau urang ke ngaga kad jemputan di 3rd Mile Square, Jln Klang Lama. Seduai ngarang kad kediri empu, udah meda chunto kad ke bisi dia.

Sambil menyelam, minum air

Maya di KL kami mega sempat makai begulai enggau bala pangan, Judy (Ju) & Rose. Sida Rose menyanak diau di Chengdu, China, laban Peter gawa din diatu, tang anak iya Osbert (godson tua dadi) udah berengkah gawa di KL, nyadi engineering konsultant. Ju diatu nyadi urang KL, agi menyamai ati din udah Simon ke nadai - (may God have mercy on his soul). Baik bisi enggau Maie begulai ila, laban sida menyanak pin sama meli unit ba condo di USJ, bejiran sida.

Begambar udah tembu makai ba sebuah restaurant di SS2. Rose milih endur nya, ngambi tua Maie ulih meda butik ke nyual baju pengantin dia. Apu, pemanjai dirit jalai nya, seberai-seberai, sigi penuh enggau kedai ke mandangka baju gaun pengantin. Sigi pawar mata kitai meda, enda nemu ni bagi ke ngam ma utai nyu udah kelalu mayuh. Nasit kami duai sigi udah netapka ngasuh Paulyn ngaga.
Oswald, Osbert & Cris

Maie & Yon. Yon, anak Ju ke biak, diatu sekula ba Sapura Smart School, akak iya Yen ba MMU, belajar law.

Tua Maie mega shopping ngagai Jln TAR, meli kain kena ngaga baju flower girls & bridesmaids. Sempat belelak ngirup kupi ba Coliseum cafe - nyamai snek tu, coklat besalut pisang goreng.

Malam ari siti kami tiga Cris makai ba Tony Roma. Tengah ari tua Maie sempat merarau di Ikea, makai meatballs. Nya meh sebengkah ma ka KL, sigi ngisi perut, kelebih agi makai pemakai ti dikerindu.

Utai bukai : tukang ngambi gambar, video, tukang makeup, tukang ngias pentas

Cris & Maie udah bulih urang ke ngambi gambar & video. Dah tu ila tua menyanak deka nguji siku urang ke direkomen bala pangan aku, ke pandai ngesep urang. Convener ba hotel pin bisi meri nama tukang makeup ngagai Maie, sama urang lelaki ga tukang nya. Enti ta chun, iya meh ngias Maie ila. Tu ka nangi-nangi aku, laban diri ke enda nemu ngias sema ta enda manah makeup, kasih ga tudah anak. Nya alai ta bai aku nguji ila, enti enda chun makeup siku, ngiga tukang bukai ga ila. Diatu aku benung ngiga urang ngias pentas, simple aja ku ati aku din, nitihka peneka sa anak. Ngiga bala urang Melayu aku, laban sida sigi pandai ba pengawa ti bakatu.

Kami serumah mega udah baum, nyendiaka diri ngatur pengerami ba rumah panjai. Puji Tuhan bala sepenemu, nyamai amat endur ngatur pengawa. Nyu tekenyit aku ke pulai empai lama tu kemari, ninga urang bebelika kerusi, pinggai mangkuk Giacomo ari indai Kumo, meli kain tabir jendila.. oo, lawa amat kita neh, ku aku. Eh, nganta ka urang ke ka melah pinang ah, pia ku sida. Aku lalu tuchum, maklum la urang rumah panjai diatu udah manah amat ekonomi, ketegal ke sawit udah mansutka asil, tambahka getah agi. Ma nangkal sari tubuh dua, bulih RM200 rega getah. Puji Tuhan....

The Home Run

"Hello, saints of Miri!"

That was how Father Gino Henriques greeted 700 of us who attended the Women's Conference at Mega Hotel, Miri, from 18 to 21 March 2011. The conference was organised by the Women's Core Team of our diocese (Miri) and it drew particpants from KK, KL, Kuching, Sibu, Labuan, Marudi, Limbang, Long San and Bintulu. It was for us not only a time for renewal, but also a time for fellowship.

700 women praising and worshipping God, 700 voices praying in tongues....so Fr Gino said he was "blessed among women"..he he..

Last year the theme of Fr Gino's teaching was "Set Free". God gives Fr Gino the gift of healing spiritual and physical illnesses. Last year he exhorted us to seek spiritual healing first, in line with what Jesus teaches in Mathew 6:33 "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness. And all of these things will be given unto you". Fr Gino told us that each one of us is unique and precious to God, and God loves each of us like the tenderest of mother (Isaiah 49). He told us that each of us is beautiful, that beauty is not in the face, shapely body or long legs, but in the heart and personality. Fr Gino was good in affirming us, so many were healed of low self-esteem, negative emotions, and many were able to forgive themselves and those who hurt them. During the healing service, many were healed of their physical infirmities - of cancer, athritis, back pain, heart problems. The most dramatic was a lady who could not walk well due to a bad back pain. She was healed, the pain went away and she could walk straight after the healing service. She cried joyfully and gave thanks to the Lord for healing her through Fr Gino. Indeed, many were set free, spiritually and physically.

Anak menyadi aku, Kumang, mega bulih penyuman maya nya suba. Kumang pemalu, iya ngasaika diri baruh, ngasaika urang enda paham iya. Kendua menyadi aku Jacinta ta kebil-kebil mata lebuh Kumang enggau Maie ngenang ajar Fr Gino ke madahka apai indai ukai semina enda tau nyamah tang enda tau kasar jaku enggau anak, laban tubuh kitai "temple of the holy spirit", "the sanctuary of God". Dini meh kendua menyadi enda kala kasar jaku, lebuh maya ke enda liat ati.

Tua dadi kala nyipat Maie & Sudan ketegal seduai ke be internet besari-sari maya seduai Pom 2 & 1 kelia, ketegal kami duai laki bini nangi ke seduai meda website ke enda menyana, enggai ke ngamahka runding, enggai ke sida nyu ka nunda. Kami duai menyadi minta ampun, aku lalu nyaut Maie & Kumang, madahka semua utai ti digaga kami sigi kena ngasal (discipline) sida, ngambika sida mereti, lalu kami ngereja nya ari pengerindu, penyayau ke sida. Ukai bisi sekula ti endur kami belatih dulu nyadi apai indai ke manah, pia mega ukai bisi chara ti udah ditetapka kena mutarka tiap iti penanggul, pia ku aku nyaut. Itah baka urang ke besekula kitai ke nyadi apai indai, mula belajar A, B, C, dah nya macha, nulis, dah nya ngarang jerita, dah nya problem solving. Ma betul ma salah meh utai digaga kitai. Nyu udah tuai agi, nyu mayuh agi ga peneleba, nyu nemu agi ga kitai ngiring bala anak.

Maie & Sudan ka amat ngenang maya seduai agi Primary 1 - 2 suba, seduai enda diberi duit kena meli bekal di kantin sekula, laban enda ngasuh sida bebelika pemakai ari kantin, tang mai bekal ari rumah. Seduai nusi diri ngining kerupuk ke dipakai bala pangan, nya alai kadang-kadang trade in sida, seduai makai kerupuk urang, urang makai bekal seduai. Ta lesay-lesay tudah diri ma seduai ngenang nya, nyu besalah asai laban ke enda meratika anak ke inginka makai pemakai luar maya nya. Ku penemu aku, aku ngasuh sida mai bekal ngambi ulih nyaga pengerai, laban ulih ngintu pemeresi pemakai ti disedia di rumah. Ni la aku nemu seduai iya ngining kerupuk urang, sida enda ga madahka aku maya nya, nyu diatu baru ka amat ngenang nya ba mua aku. Lagi-lagi tudah aku berasai besalah. Enti seduai bisi macha blog tu anak, badu seduai mendera emosi aku udah tu. Move on meh kitai, ngenang utai ke diatu. Kemaya meh kami duai dadi enda nge au ka utai ku kita enti nya patut ba runding kami. Kelebih agi Raden Adjeng Sudan kami nya, ta enda tau nyebut, sigi di au ka dadi magang. Enda agi aku tu dibelika apai iya utai enti dibandingka sida tiga menyadi.

Father Gino obliged my request for a shoot with him. Fr Gino is a Redemptorist priest, based in Singapore. He is gifted by God with the gift of healing.

This year Fr Gino's theme is 'The Home Run - We Are Made For Heaven". Each of us is called to be a saint. To be a saint is to be holy 'You shall be holy to me, for I, the Lord, am holy, I who have set you apart from the other nations to be my own" (Leviticus 20:26). To be holy, we must "love the Lord God with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our strength" (Deuteronomy 6:5; Mathew 22:37) and love our neighbour as we love ourselves (Leviticus 19:18; Mathew 22:39). These, as you know, are the two commandments of our Christian faith. Fr Gino gave us a tip on how to love someone who is difficult to love - look at his good qualities and pray for his bad attitude. Ka pritis aku, nguji rinduka urang ke ka amat ngemaruhka pengarap kitai Kristin.

Fr Gino mega ngajar bekeni ku kitai ulih kering ngelaban penguji. Penguji datai ulih pengingin kitai - kitai mayuh utai di ingin, nya alai enti kitai enda nemu nagang pengingin enggau manah, kitai sigi labuh ngagai penguji. Nya kita indu, enda umbas sepasang dua pasang kasut, meli mayuh-mayuh, nyu enda alah kena, ku Fr Gino. Kena sumpit aku wai, ngenang diri ke suah meli kasut. Dah tu aku nguji nagang diri, aku besampi awakka Roh Kudus nulung aku, laban aku lemi.

Desire must be guided by the mind, inner spirit and the Holy Spirit, pia ku Fr Gino. "Walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not gratify the desire of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16). Reti "Flesh" nya ukai semina pengingin tubuh, tang nyengkaum semua pengingin ti enda ditagang kitai. Ba Galatians 5:17, "works of the flesh " dirintaika bakatu: ngereja utai kamah, utai ti jai, nyembah engkeramba, bemanang, bemunsuh, belaya, kepapas, ringat, beripih, bedengki, mabuk, ngintu pengerami kelalu iga enggau kamah (orgies). "Anang nitihka adat dunya, tang awakka Allah Taala ngubah runding enggau ati kita enggau chukup" pia ku Romans 12:2. Ayat Romans 12:1 madahka bekeni kitai ulih enda nitihka peneka dunya, ia nya nyerahka diri empu nyadi piring ti idup ngagai Allah Taala. Kitai nyadi piring ma kitai ngasaika pemerinsa (suffering) ngelaban pengingin, lalu kitai nyuaka pemerinsa nya ngagai Allah Taala. Pemerinsa mayuh bagi, bisi mental, physical, psychological enggau redemptive suffering.

Ngambika pejalai kitai nuju menua amai mujur, Fr Gino meri survival kit bakatu : selalu besembiang, selalu macha Bup Kudus, nerima sakramen Ekarist, Reconciliation, rinduka pangan baka kitai rinduka diri empu enggau meritaka injil. Ba senentang pengawa ti meritaka injil, tiap iku kitai Kristin dikanggauka Jesus megai pengawa meritaka injil (Mathew 28:19-20). Siti chara ti pengabis manah kena kitai meritaka injil, ti ulih dikereja semua kitai nya besaksika Jesus nengah pengidup kitai besari-sari. Ma kitai besemak enggau Allah Taala, Roh kudus ti diau ba kitai deka ngadaka buah, ia nya pengerindu, pengaga, pemaik, pengeliat ati, penelap, pemadas, penaluk, pemaruh ati enggau runding ti ulih nagang tubuh diri (Galatians 5:22).Kitai besaksika Jesus nengah pengerindu, pengaga, pemaik, pengeliat ati, penelap, pemadas, penaluk, pemaruh ati enggau runding ti ulih nagang tubuh diri.

My sister, Jacinta, with my cousin Philomena (in white cardy) and an old friend Alice, from Batu Niah. Tetegu ati aku ninga utai disebut Philomena. Iya nusi bala kami serumah bukai enggai dibai iya, laban nangika enda nemu utai ti ku urang, ketegal ke kurang ba jaku omputih. Aku enda beduli wai, ku Philomena, yes ku urang yes ga ku aku, urang sembiang dalam jaku urang putih, aku sembiang dalam ati ga, pia ku iya. Itu dia! Philomena mega tukay neo, tiap bulan iya nyual bepuluh-puluh tan buah sawit.

With a Franciscan sister, Sister Maria. She was based in Bintulu once, now she is in Marudi.

Udah datai maya

Malam 27 Dec kami sebilik, kaban belayan begulai enggau bala ari Sibu enggau Belaga ngerami Maie enggau Cris betunang.

My son-in-law to be, Crispin Nyipa, is the eldest son of Mr Ali Basah (Alex) and Madam Dorothy Adrian. Cris works as a consultant in KL.

Cris' mom bearing the tray carrying the engagement ring.

Alex & Dot, Dadi and I with our respective firstborn.

Begambar begulai enggau apai indai & aki ini.
Sarang tinchin

Bala kaban belayan
My beautiful isans-to-be : Carol (Mrs Christopher Adrian) and Alex's four sisters.
Rev Fr Kevin Chundi blessing the engagement ring.
Engagement blessing.
Cris' aunts, uncle and cousins.

Family members.
Rev Father Kevin and Alex.
Rev Father Kevin Chundi besembiang, merekat seduai ke betunang.

Ika aku apai Julie ngelalu ka penatai bala. Udah nya dadi bejaku, ditangkanka aki Cris.

Menyadi aku apai Sampai enggau indai Muntai, sereta apai Muntai.

Bala petunggal enggau ibu.

Benung makai.



Menyadi aku indai Anna, indai Julie enggau petunggal aku indai Ann & Mary ari Miri.

Begulai enggau bala isans-to-be enggau ini Cris.

Sudan begulai enggau ika aku apai Julie.

Maie enggau menyadi aku indai Julie.
Ibu aku begulai enggau ipar aku.



Tiga menyadi

Losing someone you love

Today a superior in the office told us he lost his mother over the weekend. He couldn't go to her funeral, he was ill and she had to be buried fast according to the customs of their faith. I am sorry for him, for I can't bear the thought of not being there to hold in my arms someone I love and pray the divine mercy as he/she breathes his/her last, to be at his/her bed side to say the final goodbye, and to be at the funeral to throw flowers when he/she is lowered to the final resting place. May God have mercy on her soul and may she rests in peace.

His story of his mother reminded me of my mom.

My mom is 80 years old and barring some ailments to the legs which we have been trying to ease with glucosamine and chrondoitin with some small success, she is healthy, praise the Lord, thank you Lord. However for the last few years my mom has been talking about death, wondering when the Lord will take her. There is no fear in her, she is always eager, always ready to meet her Maker. Last year when we visited my father's grave, she said, "you are happy dear, you are already with the Lord". She had given instructions for whatever savings she has to be used for her funeral expenses, including for buying her casket. We just smiled at her, refused to be drawn into her eagerness to meet the Lord.

When she dies, I will be grateful that she has lived a long life, that she is happy, that she got to see her children married, bearing and raising children, that she got to see her grandchildren successful and happy. Above all, I will be happy that she has become a devout Christian and like her, I burst with hope that she will see the beatific vision upon death.

I will grieve, for even now tears came to my eyes as I thought of what she had gone through. My maternal grandma was ill with leprosy, she lived in a leprosy centre in Kuching, leaving my mother and aunt bereft of a mother's love and care. My mom was motherless at the age of about 10 years old. My maternal grandpa did the best he could to bring up his three children, but nothing could replace the love of a mother. My mom married at about 18 years old and bore five children - Jacinta, Patricia, Martin, Lily and me. I am the middle child, for my Iban name she named me Sarimah, after the film star Sarimah, her idol.

My mom was widowed in her forties. She raised us three youngest siblings, gave us the best she could offer, always ensuring there was rice on the tikai bemban - no, not on the table, but on the straw mat, as we could not afford to buy one. There was just this round marble-topped table but that was used for my study table. The table was bought during better times, when my father was still alive. The marble table top is still with us, kept by my eldest sister, Jacinta, with whom my mom is living now. I guess it keeps her connected to the past, its joys and pains. On most days the rice was served with daun ubi, changkuk manis, paku, kemiding and several times a week, fried eggs and fish. My late uncle Jangin was an avid angler, he always gave us some portion of his catch. Meat was a luxury, we had it on several occassions a month, after Jacinta sent money home - Jacinta was a teacher. My children ever asked me whether I missed the good food, etc. I told them I didn't, for how could I miss something I never had.

Even with the little we had, mom always ensured that I brought money to school, enough for me to buy meehoon, kuih or nasi lemak. In those days, a packet of mee and nasi lemak cost 30 cents and kuih, 20 cents. A packet of mee and a piece of kuih was enough to see me through until I got home from school by about 1.30 pm. Together with my aunts, sometimes mom worked at the pepper garden of our Chinese neighbours, earning RM5.00 per day. Out of the meagre sum, she made sure there was some money for me to buy books. I was so much in love with reading English novels. Apart from borrowing books from the school library, I bought Women's Weekly novels, then priced at RM1.00 each. It was ironic - we were poor but my mom ensured that was a luxury I kept. It bore fruit mom, for the things I read made me curious to know the world, it fueled me to be successful in my studies, so that one day I could eat the food described in the novels, I could wear beautiful dresses like the ones I read about, I could see places mentioned in the books. I passed my passion for reading to my daughters mom, and like me they found the immeasurable joys of reading. Today my shelves are overflowing with books. Thank you mom, for feeding my passion for books.

We went to church every Sunday. I was in the choir. In those days I liked to sing and I sang at the top of my voice. I seldom sing now - well only karaoke during Gawai at the long house where folks are not too bothered with whether you got the pitch right or hit the high notes well. When I was in Form 2, I particpated in a talentine competition, nama utai ulih, nadai lumor wai, keruan enda ngemuaska ati ti ka belagu. It was only in my late teens that I realised I was no Uji Rashid material, one of my favourite singers in the 70s. Yes, some people learnt late... Mom never complained about my singing, I guess she allowed me to express myself, unknowingly nurturing the budding of my self-confidence.

When I was still studying in Niah, I helped mom with the farm works on Saturdays and school holidays. Like most folks in Niah then, we planted pepper and paddy. Working was not unpleasant for my aunts took me under their wings. They told stories that made me laughed, they helped me carried the raga - the rattan basket - when it was full and heavy with ripened pepper berries. After school, I made sure our house was spick and span you could lie down on our anak tangga without having to worry about dirtying your body or clothes.

After I graduated from university and started work, I invited mom to stay with me - I wanted to care for her like she cared for us. However she said no, she couldn't leave my sister and my nephew & niece - she was looking after them. Then a few years ago I once again asked her to stay with me, again she said no, your sister, brother in law and Ann-Marie need me, she said. I will move in with you after Ann-Marie starts to walk by herself, mom said. That's my mom, always humble, always giving of herself, but finding joy in doing so. Truly the faith is alive in her. May God continue to bless you mom.

If I am God-fearing, hardworking, dependable and loving deeply the people I care for today, I credit it to the values I learnt from my father, mother, aunts and relatives. I am grateful for my religious upbringing. I am proud to have come from hardworking stock. I am proud to belong to people willing to sacrifice for the happiness and wellbeing of others. I am proud to belong to people who when we love, love deeply, till the end. My aunts, like my mom, were widowed young and they never remarried. People were mostly fooled by their appearance - they saw them tough on the outside but didn't know they are gooey inside. My aunts brought up my cousins well and for more than two decades, my aunts never had to work again, for their children took them in, loving and taking care of them in return...thank you Lord.

When I heard and saw how some mothers and mothers-in-law are meddling, I vowed to myself not to be one, I vowed to be like mom, always giving of myself, always nurturing, always giving joy to the people I love.

My Jogja Girl

No, Mami, I will not go to Solo. Our posting at Banjarnegara ends tomorrow and my friends and I will return to Jogjakarta. I will stay put at Jogjakarta. See it from my point of view Mi, I am training to be a doctor, I am in the business of helping people. It just won’t do for me to blah at the first sign of trouble, she said. Furthermore the uni is strict, I don’t want to have to repeat my posting to Ops if I take leave. Yes my housemates have all been evacuated to Solo, but I will stay with friends. Don't worry about me, I’ll be safe, I know what to do. That's what my daughter told me over the phone last Friday, 5 Nov. She was away in Banjarnegara, interning at a health facility there - its 3 hrs drive from Jogjakarta - so she wasn't among the Malaysian students evacuated to Solo and flown home over the weekend.

What can I say in the face of her resoluteness? To plead with her to come home would make a travesty of my faith, of what I believe in. So I pulled the greatest cable of all times - I pleaded to God. Early Saturday morning, Maie and I went to church and I asked Father Michael, our parish priest, to offer mass for her safety, and the safety of Malaysian students at Jogjakarta. I was comforted, for during the sermon Fr Mike said not to worry, not to allow events to control us, rather we should place our trust in God, that God will see us through.

Her university had suspended classes for 10 days to organise aid to villagers in evacuation camps and the injured are taken to the Sardjito Hospital, the teaching hospital where she is doing her internship. She told me most are suffering from burns, one man at ICU is still unidentified – he was burnt real bad.

In her 1st year at medical school, she expressed her desire to work in poor countries after she graduates. I told her you don’t have to go far to serve the sick, there's plenty of help needed at home… ba ulu sungai, ba rumah panjai, tak mungkang bebai kantung kita tiga menyadi ila ngubat urang ke begunaka tulung ku aku. So I guess the Merapi eruption has given her an opportunity to witness first hand how its like to bring healing and comfort to people in need.

Sudan has always been determined, in many ways she is like me. But she is also a bit quiet like you know who. When she was in Form 5, she saw me coming home from office, tired. So she told me, I will study hard Mi, so that I get good results and obtain a scholarship, then you don’t have to work any more, okay? Au, ku aku. See, she has a view that mothers should stay home, raising children. Pahai aku kasak anak aku nya, study high high tang nyu ka nyadi indai fulltime. Ee, ukai nadai ama deh, pia ku aku nyaut.

She is not beyond doing something outrageous, well, outrageous by my standard. Two years ago she came home for the holidays, with streaks of blonde and plum colored hair. Ngapu aku. Anang nganu Mi, I was so stressed during the exam, I needed to destress by doing something extraordinary, pia ku iya.

The next time she came home, she told me she wanted to have a tattoo. No, absolutely not, over my dead body, ku aku. She is not my child without knowing that in that tone of voice I really, really mean business. So she went back to Jogja, opened her Bible and looked up where in the Bible that says Christians can’t have tattoos. She thought that its against the teachings of the faith to have tattoos and that must be the reason why I forbade her. She found the appropriate verse in Leviticus 19:28

“You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead, nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD”.

Oh, no wonder Mami said no, ku iya. I didn’t know she went to such length until early this year when the family was holidaying in Phuket. We were in the MPV and talking about Iban tattoos and Igat, who has been fascinated by tattoos since he did an assignment on that subject in high school, told us he wishes to have bungai terong tattoo on his shoulders one day. Oh, aku rindu amat ka pantang bungai terong, ku aku, remembering the bungai terong that my late grandpa and his Batang Rejang relatives spotted. When she heard that, she thought I was okay with Igat's plan. She roared from the back seat. Mami! Enda asi! Aku enda di asuh nuan bepantang, Igat di asuh di! pia ku iya. ‘Igat, you can’t have tattoo, its forbidden – its in Leviticus”, she prompty told Igat. That’s how I knew she looked it up in the Bible. Igat’s reaction was so vehement – “why do you have to tell me that its forbidden! I’d rather not know so that I can do the tattoo. Now that I know, I won’t dare to do it”, pia ku Igat. Nama ga kita enggai enda madahka aku nya enda tau. Uji anang madah, lak ka aku ngereja nya. Tu aku nemu nya enda tau, nyu enda aku ulih bepantang, pia ku Igat, naka pengerenjan iya ngelabuhka jaku. Keh keh keh, ga iya chali chali bala anak aku… kasih amat, ka amat bepantang….

Well the Catholic position on body tattoo is like this – Body art as a form of adornment that is ordered to the ultimate good of the person and humanity, if it observes modesty and avoids vanity and if it respects the fundamental integrity of the human person – including integrity of the body – that kind of body art can be morally permissible. Eyebrow tattoo would seem to be morally permissible. But that is quite distinct from many of personal mutilation that many of today’s extreme tattoos and piercings entails. We are to discern which form of tattoo is sinful and harmful and which is acceptable and morally neutral. For Christians, the guideline we should follow is aptly expressed by Scripture,

‘Your adornment should not be an external one, but rather the hidden character of the heart ..which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

In a nutshell, don’t do at all, for you may not be able to discern well, or you may be motivated by vanity – an inordinate self-love related to the sin of pride - this makes it sinful. This is the reason why the Church warns us against the incipient moral danger associated with extreme forms of body art.

From the context of Leviticus 19:28, Catholic bible scholars view the prohibition as part of Jewish ritual laws, not moral laws for which Christians are bound. As Christians, we are bound by moral laws contained both in the Old and New Testaments, but we are not bound by Jewish ritual laws.

Tang, Sudan, Igat, the answer is still NO!!!

PS I love you my Jogja Girl, more than words can say. Stay safe, stay smart and don't forget the Evacuation Plan... di asuh aku nyimpan gari, ai irup enggau pemakai handy ba kerita, ambi ulih ngebu ka diri ma Merapi tak meletup enggau balat. Iya madah sida ka lari ka tunga Parangtitis, mua ka selatan Jogja (Merapi mua ka utara).

Tu gambar ke dilekatka Igat ba assignment iya suba. Minat amat Igat ka Ernesto, nanya aku sekalika aku nemu sapa Ernesto. Nemu aku ku aku, lawyer baka aku iya. Pandai amat iya neh Mi, pia ku Igat. Au. Asai ka bisi studio iya ba KL din, kelimpah ari ka ba Kuching, pia ku aku.

Antu udah nemu nama

Empai lama tu kemari tua dadi nemuai ngagai sida apai Kumo, nunga bala ke bisi datai ari menua. Sigi baka sida sekaban, ma begempuru sigi nadai jerita bukai, ngenang sawit aja. Diatu bala anak menyadi, anak petunggal dadi ke gawa di Bintulu sama besawit magang, nya alai sida gagit amat. Urang di menua pin gaga laban ari ke besawit bala anak suah agi pulai ke menua, meri penampak ngagai pengidup sida.

Lebuh ke berandau, Bakar (au, anak apai Bakar ke lelingut nya meh) lalu nusi tanah ke diungkup apai enggau indai iya ke seduai apai Cassie berimbai enggau pendam. Sekali lebuh sida biak suba kala sida me-indai-indai lari meda utai ta guyap-guyap semak babas mua ka pendam. Nemu nya tudah niang apai B, ngiga daun sabung semak nya. Apai B enggau indai B benung ngumpul buah engkabang. Seduai nadai nemu takut ku sida, seruran ta bemalam sebelah tanah. Ma ka tinduk seduai ngelamun tubuh enggau buah engkabang, ambi enda empa nyamuk!

Sida pin lalu mulaika pengingat, bisi lebih 10 taun ti udah, sida sekaban begau pulai ke menua tengah malam laban indai B udah lelang kenu ku urang di menua. Sida sekaban di Bintulu lalu begau, datai ngagai rumah kami, baum ka pulai. Siku ari sida nadai minyak, nyu ulih ngumpa minyak ari kerita kami ke siti, namaka ngagai tangki kerita ia. Maya nya stesin minyak enda buka 24 jam baka ke diatu (nya alai dadi enda ngelak ka kerita nadai minyak, enggai ka tusah ka ngesah urang di menua ku iya. Taja diatu bisi stesin 24 jam, dadi mengkang enda ngeleka ka pengawa ti bejaga-jaga bakanya).

Datai di menua, sida lalu ngagai langkau kebun apai B, seduai melaki bini diau di kebun laban nanam sawit. Apai B nusi seduai melaki-bini bisi becheregay lemai nya, nya alai indai B lari. Abis sebelah madang sawit enggau umai seduai di tujah sida malam nya, rauh-rauh nganggau, tang lalu enda tetemuka indai B. Nyu dini ari bedau ga indai B temu, nya alai sida ngetu, lalu berunding ngiga baru pagi siti. Laban ke nyau lapar, bala pin lalu bebela, munuh serati. Nyu makai meh sida dini ari nya. Ia enda lama udah nya, urung pukul 4 pagi, peda ta nyunggah indai B. Urang pin lalu nanya iya, kini nuan tadi, ku urang. Peda ta enda tentu stidi jaku enggau pejalai indai B, iya lalu nusi diri baru pulai ari langkau ini Yi, ngirup tuak din ku iya. He he he, uhang ke digiga nyu happy hour dataika dini ari!!! Pama bintis manuk indu kami nya!!!

Tembu nusi jerita apai enggau indai B, sida lalu ngenang pendam lama sida di ai Dijih, naka pengerepa ku jaku. Takut mansa diatu ku sida. Udah nya Bakar lalu nusi baru ga jerita L ke mansang mukat enggau nginti ba tebing ai semak pendam di Sg Dijih. Ka geli-geli L ke nginti kia, tang iya ka kia laban dia mayuh ikan. Endur iya ke mukat melakangka pendam lama. Baru ka ngenan pukat, dia L lalu ninga urang nganggau ka iya, nyebut nama. Antu!! pia ku L, iya pin lalu lari enda be apai enda be indai. Utai di tinggal ka iya magang. Datai di rumah iya lalu madah ngagai entua iya, ku iya

'apu apai, enda lama agi mati aku laban antu udah nemu nama aku'.

Sida sebilik pin lalu besudi, ngambi semengat L. Apin lama udah sida ke besudi, L betemu enggau apai tuai siku ke dikelala iya, apai tuai nya diau enda jauh ari rumah panjai sida. Ku apai tuai nya nganu L, ia nama kebuah nuan ta lari maya aku nganggauka nuan sari nya, aku ba puchuk kayu enda jauh ari nuan ke nginti. Aku nginau babi meda balat amat bekau pelangkan dia ku apai tuai nya. He he baru la L nemu ukai antu ke nganggau ka iya, tang mensia!!! Aku lalu lekik-lekik ketawa... amat pahai kitai enti antu udah nemu nama...

Learning to trust

Mami, please pray for me, I am having a hard time with my revision, so said Igat several weeks ago. Oh, I’ve prayed for you this morning, son, I responded. Mami, please pray for me now Mami, now, Igat entreated. I heard the urgency of his need, so over the phone, I prayed for and with Igat, asking God to give him the wisdom and understanding required to excel in his studies, asking God to take away his anxieties, asking God to give him good health, asking God to cover and protect him against all dangers, trials and temptations.

Feel better now? I asked, and Igat said yes. I told him not to worry, I told him to put his trust in God, because God answers all prayers. I don’t want him sick in the head over his studies, his spiritual and physical wellbeing is more important to me than acing A-levels examinations.

A mother would know the kind of prayer I made – the one that comes deep from the heart, a plea, a cry out to God for peace of a much beloved son. That’s why a mother’s prayer is powerful because it’s from the heart – born out of faith. (James 5:17). Thank you Lord, because almost a month had passed and Igat is doing okay now, a lot of study to do but happy. Just this evening he cheerfully told me he’s fighting to the end. God will see you through son, there’s no doubt about it.

I’ve been reflecting on how I measured in trusting God. I realized that I was a fine one for talking to Igat about trusting God while at times I too am short in that department. There were times when I still worry even after lifting up prayers to the Lord. Last year when Igat was ill during the H1N1 outbreak, I was so worried for him. He was away from home and I was not there to care for him. Yes I prayed, in tears, pleading with God to protect Igat from the dreaded virus, asking God to make him well again. But after the prayers my anxiety remained. Had there been a flight out of Bintulu to Kuala Lumpur that evening I would had gone to see Igat.

It was also with anxiety that I left Jogjakarta in August 2006 after visiting Met. Jogjakarta was still trembling after the devastating earthquake in May of the same year. I worried about her personal safety, my heart ached that she had to live away from the comforts of home. I surrendered her to the Lord, but I still worried. Cried, even.

What did my actions say about trusting God? I failed, miserably. Truly I identify with the lyricist in the hymn “And I Thank You Lord”, the one about not putting our human nature down and let God take control of all we do. Trusting God is to let go of our dependence on our own strength and capabilities and instead rely on His strength. Trusting God is to have peace in our hearts come what may. Trusting God is believing that everything will turn out to be good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Trusting God is to accept in humble obedience His will in our lives.

When I was a young magistrate, a lawyer who’s also a friend popped into my chambers and told me of his flight from Kuching to Bintulu. The plane encountered turbulence and he was scared out of his wits. To his amazement, a priest who was sitting next to him was so calm and relaxed. And he told me “how nice to have that kind of faith”. My friend found the faith – he and his family converted to Christianity, still actively serving the church.. 25 years on and that conversation is still fresh on my mind.

So what do I tell the Lord?

I am sorry Lord for my lack of trust in you. I am learning to trust You fully Lord, so help me. If you would stretch your patience with me, I promise to be a good disciple. Amen.

Lelingut, Lelingai

Lelingut Apai Bakar

Gawai tu kemari kami menyanak bisi ngabang ngagai sida Apai Bakar, ba rumah panjai di ulu Dijih. Iya nya tanah aya apai Maie, lalu bini iya petunggal dua kali dadi. Nya meh tudah indai Bakar enggau menantu iya indai Cassie nyu kisuk ngenah ka kami pemakai. Pia Cassie riak-riak nyabak, enda tan angat lalu takut meda sekeda palan ba bilik dapur enda terang. Momok mami, pia ku Cassie. Kasih sida uchu, teleba diau nyamai di nengeri, enda nakal diau ba rumah panjai laban nadai karan kena masang aircon, injin api muti ulih musinka kipas. Nyu ke penyuah indai Bakar kelut-kelut mantaika pemakai, nya iya lalu nyebut ngagai apai Bakar. Salin lalu sadung ai nya apai Bakar, anang ta bara lelingut dia, pia ku uhang indu. Kami menyanak pin lalu engkikir ketawa ninga indai Bakar ngumbai laki iya lelingut. Tuchum kambin tudah apai Bakar, matak setan lalu nuang ai...

Lelingai Apai Maie

Aku lalu ngingatka apai Maie, lebih kurang baka apai Bakar nya meh maya nerima pengabang. Enti apai Bakar lelingut apai Maie lelingai, bepelawik patung nunga temuai. Puji Tuhan iya mayuh bala anak menyadi enggau menantu, bala menantu mantu aku bebantaika utai, sida ke lelaki nyadung ai enggau utai dempa. Apai Maie kala nusi ka kami menyanak jaku niang apai iya suba, enti ta semua mela, sapa ke makai legi, pia ku niang aki sa Maie. Au, sekira apai Maie nusi jaku apai iya ngambi aku ke enda bebai mela meh nya. Apu, enti aki labang, apai labang, enda alah ga Igat nunda ku aku. Aku lalu nangkap Igat, lalu madahka iya nuan anang bakanya ila Igat, enda tau enda nulung bini nuan, kelebih agi enti seduai sama gawa. Au Mi, ku tudah Igat. Ba aku, pia mega pelaba aku, ba mayuh kitai indu bukai, enda kitai ngiruh laki maya ari biasa, tang enti maya gawai, maya berami, kitai sigi begunaka tulung laki enggau anak. Semua tulang dipeguna magang, husband or not, tuan or not. Kati asai sida neh, enti kitai indu ta rendih-rendih, sebaka enggau sida ke bepelawik patung?

Lelingai di Kuala Lumpur
Tu aku nusi jerita diri empu. Ari lima tu kemari aku bisi ngulu aum di Kuala Lumpur, baru pulai lemai mari. Udah tembu baum, ngalih ari nya aku ngagai Sogo, lama amat udah enda kia, ka meda angka bisi gari ka chun ba mata, kena sembiang. Tudah diri enda tebai ka diri enggau urang bepisin iga ba pekayan, ngipak ka tubuh, ngipak ka umur, ngipak ka gamal ga kitai begari.

Aku ta asai ke bemimpi remban enti meda kitai indu ngena gari bekebelik maya siang ari, tau ke ngena gari ke sendat, nyu ngayanka gumpal isi. Pemadu ia enggai dipeda aku bala indu ke maya kami tu, tauka biak agi, ke ngena tanchut getah ke sendat, apu wai, amat ta pelimping gumpal pah enti kitai gemu. Pia ka nyu ayan sirang tanchut dalam laban tanchut nya ngempit. VPL (visible panty lines) nya a no-no ku urang ke pandai senentang adat basa begari. Ta pejam enchelak, pejam enchelak mata aku ma meda bala wai wai kitai Iban ba sebelah pasar maya ari minggu bepekayan bakanya.

Siti agi legging ke pandak, ba tengan betis aja, lalu kadang-kadang bisi ribin ba tisi. Ku aku bisi bagi urang ke tau ngena legging enggau ke enda. Enti urang tinggi, manah tubuh, ehem, urang ke biak meh, manah ga ngena legging, laban tubuh sida manah, lalu bisi shape datai ke baruh din. Tang enti tua gemu, isi nyu begumpal ba dada enggau punggung, di baruh aja ke mit agi, nyu baka katun spongebob enggau square pants kitai. Tambah ka enti t-shirt tauka baju kitai pandak, alamak, ayan sirang W ba belakang, ayan sirang V ba mua, terumbu ga tinggi, enti tanchut sendat amat nyu W meh ba mua ("camel's hoofs" ku sa Maie & Sudan madahka aku), .......pahai wai kitai nyu nyadi utai kena merindang ati uhang ke meda!!!

Nitihka utai ti dibacha enggau dipeda aku, adat kitai indu begari bakatu: lalai ka utai ti enda manah, kemas ka ba bagi tubuh ke manah. Enti berang kitai besai, anang ngena baju ke enda beberang, enggai ka nyu baka pemalu tawak lengan kitai, chukup enda manah. Pia mega enti kitai gemu, enda semesti iya kitai ngena gari ke balat begimbo, enggai ka ta nadai shape lalu. Umbas ia ga pengelunggar gari, chukup kena ngelalaika spare tyre enggau gumpal isi. Oso, anang ngena baju dalam ke sendat, enggai ke dipeda begumpal isi kitai ari belakang ma baju kitai fit. Gaya kitai begari pin tau ngasuh urang meragamka gaya pikir enggau pendiau kitai. Enti baju seksi, ngayanka sekeda buah labu, urang tau meragamka kitai nya bansa urang indu ke senang di ulih, dikuntik. It's about penampilan ku Melayu, bakani kitai begari, bakanya meh urang masa tauka enda masa kitai. Tambah kitai enda tau enda masa tubuh diri empu. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit ku Bup Kudus (1 Corinthians 6:19).

Au, pulai ngagai aku ke ka Sogo.

Nyadi ba Sogo, sida bisi ngadaka market segments ti bebida. Bisi gari ke manah kualiti sereta ngam ba urang ke ka begaya, tang rega ia mar agi. Pia mega bisi gari ke ngam ba urang ke enda tentu milih pisin, ditipak ka enggau rega ti murah agi, ulih di ibai ka urang mayuh. Nyadi aku tu ari market segment ke tengah-tengah, enggai meli utai mar, tang ka ke utai ti bisi kualiti. Siti pengelebih sida bisi ngadaka pisin ti chun ba aku, kain panjai, blaus pandak belengan panjai tauka tiga suku. Urang ke sama ngiga pisin bakanya sigi bala indu Melayu din, makcik-makcik baka aku....

Aku enda tetemuka utai ti di ke inginka ati, laban bisi pisin ti ngam ba aku tang kelalu balat ukir enggau churak - nyu genarau, betata batu ke seleka dua, pelaba aku laluh pisin Hari Raya. Andal amat aku ke kia, angka ta bulih sepasang dua ke umbas ia, ta lelingai kitai ngena baju baru neh, anang enti chun gamal.

Aku ke nurun ngagai Sogo nepan teksi churak gadung. Ka diambi ka bellboy teksi eksekutif ke biru- sida bellboy bisi diberi driba komisyen enti kitai ngena teksi nya - aku enggai laban mar bayar. Sida nya enda paham-paham ga ku ati aku din, kitai ke diau ba hotel mar bakanya (Grand Millenium) laban dibayar kempeni, ukai bayar diri empu, meda kitai ke diau dia kumbai ta mayuh duit kitai. Tambah mega kapa bangat mayar utai mar enti bisi ke murah. Nya aku minta tan ka sida teksi biasa. Datai teksi gadung aku lalu tama ninga bellboy madahka driba ka nganjung aku ke Sogo. Pakai meter kak, ku iya. Ok ku aku, lalu tama. Datai ba Sogo dipinta driba mayar RM20 lebih, peda aku meter amat nyampau nya. Aih deh deh, laban bara lelingai enda sedar ka diri ngambi teksi ke mar, bansa meter ke belanda...Ku jaku enggai bebayar mar, nyu mar ga bayar. Aku ke pulai muti RM10 lebih bayar aku laban ngena teksi mirah.

Nama kebuah aku tu ta ilap, enda meratika teksi nya tadi ku ati aku din, mutap ka diri empu. Nama kebuah aku ilap, laban bara lelingai, ngenang pemujur aum kami pagi nya, utai ti diperambuka kami udah dibantaika enggau manah ba urang ke ngaga pemutus, lalu udah dikemendarka urang. Nya alai laban aku ke nguluka market research sereta ngaga project proposal ti dibantaika bos besai kami, ta lelingai asai tudah diri...urang nadai pin muji kitai, tang kitai nemu meransang diri empu... enti enda pia enda ransing kitai ngereja pengawa....thank you ku urang, you are welcome ku kitai...lalu lelingut, lelingai kitai...