Indu Rumah Panjai - Ngenang Diri Sebilik, Pengidup Enggau Pengarap

A letter from my son, 'from Belgaum with love"

2011-07-30T23:57:00.014+08:00

Igat flew to India on 13 July to start his 5-year degree programme in dentistry at the KLE Dental School, reputed to be one of the top dental schools in India. Dad and I sent him off to KL and I couldnt stop my tears from flowing when we bade our goodbyes. Some parents were no better: one father, a Chinese, was crying as he hugged his daughter goodbye. Sama ta bekesingut bala kami ke indai, apai urang malam nya...

Igat was the last to enter the departure hall as he was briefed by the JPA officers (Igat was chosen as the group leader) on the travel itinerary, contact persons and things to do on arrival at Bangalore. After he bade goodbye to someone significant who also saw him off, (pangan uhang meh nya), dadi and I blessed him and off he stepped on the escalator. Nasit mata tubah buntau udah bekau ngerami Maie ke nikah, nya alai tua dadi lalu tinduk udah tua datai ba rumah sa Maie di USJ, nadai endur emo. Ma enda, chukup enda nyamai, udah begulai bebala mayuh, nyu kediri tua melaki bini, ia ga rumah sa Maie puang, laban Maie enggau Dum udah nurun bebulan madu.

Two weeks had passed and thanks to ICT we can skype with Igat regularly. Our earlier anxieties were dispelled on hearing that he is adapting well to the new environment. When I read the email he sent us last weekend, I thanked God for His providence, for answering our prayers for Igat's wellbeing. Here's the email Igat sent us last week..

"HELLO PEOPLE...!

Sorry this e-mail took so long. I was busy settling in. On weekdays there were classes and by the time I got back to my hostel at the end of the day, I was exhausted. On weekends like this, I go shop for stuffs. Hehe.. Exploring Belgaum. Trying new eatery each time. Since we are just here for a few weeks, we were advised by seniors to take Hotel food only. Hotel tu kira Indian standard la. Baka hotel bala sida Riverfront ba kitai din. 2-3 stars. Maioh utai ulih dicerita aku. Hehe..

For our 1st year we have 5 subjects. 3 Medical subjects which are Biochemistry, Anatomy and Physiology. For Dental Subject, we have Dental Materials and Dental Anatomy and Histology. But for our exams, we sit for 4 subjects only excluding Dental Materials. Dental Materials tu dibelajar aja, but will sit for exam in 2nd year. Our class starts at 9am each day. One whole stretch until 1 Pm. Then we have lunch break for 1 hour. After that continue from 2pm until 5pm. For 1st half of the week (Mon, Tue, Wed) we mostly spend our time learning medical subjects at the medical faculty taught by medical professors/ Postgraduate students from the Jawaharlal Nehru Medical College (JNMC). For the 2nd part of the week (Thurs, Fri and Sat) we spend most of our time at the Dental Faculty. Which is called Vishawanath Katti Institute of Dental Science. As for Saturday, our class starts at 9am and ends at 1pm. Lectures are fun, and some are so so. The common thing is the knowledge is there for every lecturers.... Ulih ga aku ninga English sida ya. Bisi ke pekat endar Indianised English enda ku entu nemu. Haha... agi belajar ninga.

Makan everyday, kami ulih ngorder meals delivery to doorstep ari Momos and China Wall. China Wall bisi nyedia ka Msian food bala sida nasi goreng, char kway tiew etc. The closest to Msian food that we can have. About 60-150 Rps rega enti ngorder sekali. Enti ka mudah gik, makai ba MESS. MESS tu baka cafeteria. Everyday menu vegetarian everyday. Enti ka makai manok, telu ulih ngasuh sida ngoreng dibelakang. Sekali makai ba MESS tu bisi 80 Rps. Aku laban ke enda beleman, ulih aja makai. Just that, everyday almost the same food. Lelak ga makai utai sama kadang2. Aku nadai masalah ngirup ari ai filter machine urang ditu. Nadai stomachache apa indah. Ah Wei, udah kena stomachache. Balat ga ya kena ari nya. Dibai ke sepital tapi nda admitted. Thank God, kuman aku kebal gik. Haha....

Diatu udah single room aku. Umbas ya ga mal bebayar ke hostel fees ari nya. Room rate is rm330 per month. Taun tu 91K Rps kami perlu berbayar tambah ngau caution money. My room is comfy. Nadai ngiga lebih. Just that wardrobe betegal, kurap2 mimit. haha... But i'll live. Ka mandi shower suka ati, bisi heater maya pagi2 ti chelap amat. Electric and water bills all accounted for in fees. Bisi gym ga a room away from my room. Convenient ka workout taja equipment enda cukup. Senior ku workout ba gym luar. Enti ku udah cukup duit ila ka ngau sida. Pengawa kami, just meh belajar aja n adapt.

Ba class, kami bisi kira 60 iko org. laki 13 iko aja. kebukai semua local (tempe jako slang Msian ngagau local). Tempe manah ga ngau begulai. Tapi bedau nemu endar ga kati ati sida ya, lama2 ila temu meh, manah ke enda. Tapi, generally they are ok ga. Mai aku n Ah Wei meda wayang Hindi ba cinema sida saritu tadi. Ka meda wayang ba Nucleus Mall. Very small. Tapi bisi cinema showing Eng movies n Hindi movies. ;). Ba ditu, laki begulai ngau laki. Indu begulai ngau indu. Haha...

Weather is pleasant. Belgaum is 2500 above sea level. Highland. Nya alai maioh greenery ditu especially ba campus ground. Maioh old2 trees ka besai. Sejuk mata memandang. Hehe... Nya aja meh, tusah ka meda mata panas maya musim tu. Ujan aja2 tiap ari. But today, I can see the Sun!. ;)) Ulih la baju ke dibasu ku kering legi. Kami ba laundry ulih ngagau orang do laundry for us. Kira baka ama. Tapi aku ka nuci kediri. Bisi orang nyapu bilik n nuci jamban. Nya meh munyi ko aku tadi, nadai ngiga lebih ba hostel.

Learning environment kami mixed of old and new.Buildings peda aja ari luar baka ke tuai tapi utai di dalam canggih2 magang. Also applies to the lecture hall, class room n labs.

Actually living cost ba Belgaum is quite high kenu ko kawan tempe aku diri empu. They said in bigger places like Mumbai, Calcutta, makai sekali semina 20 Rps aja. Laban kami tu tanah tinggi, tusah ka beranjung supplies, engka nya mal kini. Aku makai seari bisi about 150 Rps. kira about rm10. Utai ditu bisi ke ridiculously murah, bisi ke ridiculously mal. Baka ari nya aku ka ngiga ironing board, RM 100 rega siti ! Pahai kitai. Urang tambi enda berterika baju kini. Haha... Laban Belgaum small "town", tusah ka ngiga utai ditu.... Tambah pan, urang ditu mostly maioh kurang mampu, nda maioh macam baka kitai, utai dikena. Haha... But I'll live. Have to improvise here and there a little bit..

In all, I think im settling well. .... I miss home. Yes, I miss u guys a bunch. Homesick. Nadai utai ulih ngelaban the comforts of home. But I'm strong and I will stay positive And I WILL study hard too.. For me being here, is an answered prayer. Not everyone has this kind of opportunity. Bendar sembiang ngambi ulih belajar ba overseas suba. Ba UK, Australia, angan2 suba, tapi tu utai diberi Tuhan, but I'll still be forever grateful n contented with what God has given me. For He will provide, and I shall never lack of anything. So I will keep going on and make the most of this opportunity. Keep me in your prayers k. ;))

Gambar, bedau aku upload. Buruk. Haha.... Gambar kawin pun bedau.. Meda gaya legi meh...
Maioh utai ulih dicerita aku. Tanya aja nama2. Hehe.. That's all for now folks..."

When I read the part about him praying for a scholarship, I remembered his disappointment when he found out that he will be sent to India. I consoled him, I told him not to look down at Indian universities, I told him to be humble. Kitai bendar besampi ngambika nuan bulih scholarship, tu Tuhan udah nyaut peminta kitai enda patut kitai enda beterima kasih, ku aku. To reject it would be disobedient. Kitai enda patut mikir we are too good for and dont deserve India but some better places, pia ku aku madahka Igat. I know that Mi, but it hurts nonetheless pia ku Igat. Puji Tuhan, Iya udah nyumanka Igat, diatu Igat udah nerima pemeri enggau ati ti tunduk. Thank you Lord.

Pengasai Baru

2011-03-25T06:32:00.025+08:00

Sema urang nanya aku maya agi biak kelia sekalika aku kala berundingka diri empu belaki, nyadi indai, udah nya ngatur anak nikah, dah nya bisi uchu (God willing), saut aku sigi nadai, nadai mikir utai kia kelia. Tang diatu, munyi ku kenang aku dulu agi ari tu, nyu udah datai maya ke ngatur anak belaki, nyu ngatur ga tua dadi, Alex enggau Dot. Nasit meh kami tu sekampung, nyamai betemu, berandau. Sida Dot diau ba pesisir pantai Kidurong, kami diau ba pesisir pantai Tanjung Batu.

Au, Maie & Cris high school sweethearts. Udah Pom 5 Cris belajar A-levels, dah nya nyambung pelajar ka US. Udah tembu belajar Cris gawa di New York, lebih setaun, dah nya pulai ka menua. Udah nukuka Maie, Cris nurun belajar baru ka UK. Bakanya ku sejarah seduai. Aku tu ngambi risk nusi jerita urang ka kita, pahai aku di “mami!mami!” Maie legi ma iya macha blog tu… nya enda tau mayuh utai ditusi ditu pasal jerita urang ke bechinta munyi ku niang ini Sudan…

Aku ka bekunsika pengasai diri ngelamatu ke ngatur anak ke ka nikah.

Netapka ari bulan maya besabung jadi

Maie deka besabung jadi taun tu, bulan tujuh. Enti kita ngumbai netapka aribulan nya utai ti senang, think again, laban berapa kali kami nukar ari bulan, ketegal diri sebilik enggau kaban belayan ke semak minta aribulan ditetapka maya sida ulih datai. Pengujung dadi stepped in, don’t postpone until the end of the year, just choose a date that is most suitable for you and Cris, for it is your wedding, said Dadi. Family and friends who can make it will come, those who can’t will just have to miss it. Enti enda pia nyu kasih ga tudah anak nganti diri ke ulih nikah (ngasaika diri empu kelia he he). Tambah Maie begunaka sijil nikah kena iya minta upis sida mindahka iya gawa ke KL. Ma laun nikah, nyu laun ga minta pindah, nyu lama agi ga tudah anak be LDR.

So after consulting the parish priest, we had the date fixed – we ensured that it is not a feast day under the church liturgical calendar. Now we pray that our VIP loved ones – Sudan and Joo (Cris’ brother) will be there for the wedding for Maie & Cris want them to be the bridesmaid and best man respectively.

Milih endur ngadaka pengerami

Di Bintulu tu semina siti endur ti besai alai begempuru, ke ulih muat 100 iti mija.Tang bala anak enggai dia, piam meh dia ku jaku, kelalu besai meh ku jaku. Tua Dot ngeriut kening ngenang bilik jamban ke semak endur urang nyediaka pemakai, dipansa urang kin kia. Eh, ku dadi, ni kepala menteri, tuai pemegai menua, dia meh makai. Eh, ku aku nyaut, sida urang politik badu enda, begunaka endur besai betemu enggau rayat, nya alai enda milih.

Dah nya dadi sekali agi nukik pikir kami, munyi tu : Clinton naka pemesai pangkat, udah nyadi Presiden Amerika. Enti nunda ukai mimit urang dikelala iya, tang lebuh anak iya Chelsea nikah, muti 500 iku aja urang ke dibai iya rami. Enti tusah ngiga endur ke chukup, enda ulih kitai ngemimitka urang ke dikanggau, pia ku dadi. Alex madahka enggai nyadi enda nesau mayuh urang, laban bangat mayuh kaban, tambah sama-sama anak tuai ke nikah. Sigi enda bula, bala ba gerija udah madahka diri datai ila, taja pin kad tesau bedau diberi. Nya utai ti manah, bala pangan sama gagit, ka ngunsi pengaga kami ke nikahka anak.

Pikir punya pikir, kami lalu netapka dua iti pengerami di Bintulu, urang di menua dikanggau ngagai pengerami ti deka di atur di menua ga ila. Kami arapka bala kaban enggau pangan enda ensiban ati sema sida diungkupka endur ti enda nitihka peneka ati sida. Ukai ka nempina, tang laban bisi penanggul ba enalan, ditambahka enggau penanggul logistik.

Kami udah booking hotel & restaurant, pia mega udah baum ka bansa pemakai ke dinah maya lunch & dinner receptions.

Betemu enggau Paderi/Kursus Nikah/Kursus Natural Family Planning (NFP)

Nitihka atur gerija Katolik, sebedau nikah di gerija, seduai meseti kursus Nikah enggau Natural Family Planning. Father Michael (parish priest kami) lalu madahka aku, anang ngasuh seduai nikah ba JPN dulu, asuh nikah ba gerija dulu, ma enda setaun tikah enda diberekat ila ku Pada. Pahai wai enti sema aku udah bulih uchu dalam timpuh setaun nyu enda ulih dibaptisa tudah uchu ketegal apai indai ke sabung jadi dulu ba upis JPN, enda ba gerija dulu. Enti ngelanggar adat tu, Cris & Pi pin enda tau nerima holy communion semadi tikah seduai udah diberekat. Pada ngaga atur ti bakanya ukai nama, enggai ka bala anak ta begulai dulu meda diri ke udah nikah ba JPN, nyu enda nganti nerima sakramen sabung jadi ba gerija.

Puji Tuhan menyadi enggau ika aku sigi bisi peneleba meri kursus nikah, nya Maie & Cris udah kursus maya taun baru Cina tu kemari. Kursus nya ngentapka agi ajar pengarap senentang adat melaki bini, kelebih agi reti sakramen sabung jadi, ngajar kitai meseti tebuka ati nerima anak ke diberi Allah Taala, ngajar kitai anang nyekat diri beranak ngena chara ti bukai kelimpah ari natural family planning, bekeni ku kitai bekomunikasi sereta mutarka penyarut enggau pangan diri, senentang pekara wang, senentang ngiring bala anak, macham-macham meh.

Aku nyinuk diri ninga Tuai & Ayai ke ngajar seduai, kelebih agi ninga chunto ti diberi seduai. Kadang-kadang sigi tusah amat, ku Tuai, sweating blood, baka Jesus. Reti nya, kitai laki bini enda tau enda sedia meri diri empu (sacrifice) ka pangan diri, bala anak, baka Jesus ke meri nyawa diri ke kitai. Bekeni ku meri diri? Ngenuluka peneka bala anak/laki/bini (enti peneka nya patut) ari peneka kitai empu. Aku nyu teingatka ajar Patrick Madrid, siku Catholic apologist ke tebilang, ke diambi gerija kami ngajar sida ke lelaki taun 2009 suba (aku enggau dadi maya nya), apai iya suah ta ngirup kupi aja ma pagi, laban ngelakka kengka pemakai ti bisi, dipakai sida menyadi, laban sida ke mayuh tubuh, tambah kurang penatai pemisi.

Aku tuchum dalam ati ngenang Maie ke nyendiaka diri betemu enggau Fr Mike - bendar amat iya macha utai ti diajar menyadi aku, ni ke macha ari bup Catechism of the Catholic Church. Eh, panik aku tu mami, berasai enti aku enda nemu nyaut utai ti ditanya Father legi. Malu aku enti pil, ia ga seduai Aunty Dot ta sama pengajar pengarap, pia ku Maie. Just try your best to answer, enda Father nanya lebih ari utai ti di ajar enggau batang pengarap kitai, ku aku menyamai ati iya. Maya seduai betemu enggau Fr Mike, Pada muti nukuka peneka seduai jadi enggau pangan diri, nanyaka pengangkun seduai ke ajar pengarap - sigi meruan tanya saut ti ditulis dalam siti pom. Dah Pada puas ati enggau saut seduai, Pada lalu netapka aribulan maya besabung jadi.

Dah nya Dot lalu meri Maie surat ajar pasal NFP, puji Tuhan laban Dot kepala Human Life Service kami di Bintulu. Maie di asuh berengkah charting (nitihka Billings ovulation method) ari bulan dua suba. NFP ngajar natural family planning methods – no pills, no IUCD, no rubber, no patch, no injection. Mayuh bala pangan ke udah pas amat ngena NFP, sida ulih nyarangka diri beranak.

Pengepas tauka enda nitihka NFP sigi bepanggai ba pengulih kitai melaki bini nagang diri begulai maya bini ke subur. Maya ke subur ulih ditemu nengah charting – kitai ngerikut maya kitai indu bisi pansut lendir. Kitai indu ngeluarka telu sekali aja sebulan, telu kitai ke mansau ulih idup kira-kira 12-14 jam aja. Enti ia enda disuburka ai urang lelaki maya nya, telu kitai mati, dah nya kitai datai kutor. Ai urang lelaki semina ulih idup enda ngelui ari 3-5 ari ba tubuh kitai indu, ia begunaka lendir kitai kena iya ngelawa telu kitai. Enti kitai beleman enggau laki maya ovulation period, nya kitai ke ulih ngandung. Enti kitai begulai enggau laki ba maya bukai, selamat pok!

Nitihka adat gerija, laki bini meseti sedia nerima anak ke diberi Tuhan, seduai mega enda tau nyekat diri beranak ngena chara bukai kelimpah ari NFP. Ku gerija, marriage is a covenant, each time a husband and wife consummate the marriage (ma seduai begulai), seduai ngemaruka sempekat, so God uses it to give new life. To renew the marriage covenant and using birth control to destroy the potential for new life is profane – it is profane laban kitai enda masa utai ti kudus, laban marriage is a covenant, it’s sacred. Pia mega gerija nagang kitai indu bebuai. Ba Bup Kudus, (Genesis 38:9-10) Onan di ukum Allah Taala, iya mati tekalanya, ketegal iya muai ai ti tau nyadi anak lebuh iya beleman enggau Tamar (coitus interruptus – ia nya nyabut utai iya sebedau ai mani pansut, ngambi indu enda ngandung).

Kelia semua gerija, nyengkaum gerija protestan, nyengkaum tuai reformasi gerija protestan – Martin Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, Knox, sigi niri negika adat ti nagang beranak ngena chara bepakaika pil, tauka chara sekat bukai ti enda semulajadi, tang dah nya semua gerija bukai ngelekaka adat nya. Gerija Anglika ngelekaka adat nya ba Council of Lambeth, dalam taun 1930. Nya alai diatu semina gerija katolik ke negika adat nya.

Baju, bungai, kad

Bulan dua tu kemari mega kami duai menyanak nempah baju kena Maie nikah di gerija. Mula ia aku bepikir bekeni ke stail ti ngam ba anak aku, kada aku nemu milih, ku ati aku din. Tang nyamai amat diatu laban bisi internet, nya Maie lalu shortlist ni bagi tukang ngaga baju bridal gown ke ka enggau betemu. Kami duai nempah baju iya ari bridal boutique di Damansara. Nyamai amat laban tukang ke ngaga baju ngembuan peneleba, iya ngelukis dua iti pisin baju, ni pemilih tua menyanak. Dah nya milih kain. Maie rinduka lace, nya alai kami duai milih offwhite, vintage French lace. Bulan empat ila, udah abis musin Lent, baru fitting.

Maie enggau Paulyn, tukang ke ngaga baju kena iya nikah ba gerija.

Ba kedai nyual bungai di Petaling Street - sida ulih ngirumka bungai ka Bintulu, kitai semina nempah & mayar dulu. Enti kitai empu ngatur, kitai meseti minta permit ari upis betanam. Enda tusah bulih permit laban sida nulung kitai meri maklumat ti dipinta upis betanam. Enti nengah florist ke bisi di Bintulu, kitai enda ibuh minta permit, tang rega sigi tinggi agi laban kitai meli ari florist ditu. Jauh amat bida rega, ditu sepating bungai lily RM25, di KL semina RM8 aja. Bala pangan aku ke sigi ngaduka floral arrangment di gerija, betuaika Helen, deka ngaduka floral arrangment ba gerija ila. Maie deka baum enggau sida, bekeni ke atur rias ti dikedeka seduai Cris.

Aku mega nyempulang Maie & Cris betemu enggau urang ke ngaga kad jemputan di 3rd Mile Square, Jln Klang Lama. Seduai ngarang kad kediri empu, udah meda chunto kad ke bisi dia.

Sambil menyelam, minum air

Maya di KL kami mega sempat makai begulai enggau bala pangan, Judy (Ju) & Rose. Sida Rose menyanak diau di Chengdu, China, laban Peter gawa din diatu, tang anak iya Osbert (godson tua dadi) udah berengkah gawa di KL, nyadi engineering konsultant. Ju diatu nyadi urang KL, agi menyamai ati din udah Simon ke nadai - (may God have mercy on his soul). Baik bisi enggau Maie begulai ila, laban sida menyanak pin sama meli unit ba condo di USJ, bejiran sida.

Begambar udah tembu makai ba sebuah restaurant di SS2. Rose milih endur nya, ngambi tua Maie ulih meda butik ke nyual baju pengantin dia. Apu, pemanjai dirit jalai nya, seberai-seberai, sigi penuh enggau kedai ke mandangka baju gaun pengantin. Sigi pawar mata kitai meda, enda nemu ni bagi ke ngam ma utai nyu udah kelalu mayuh. Nasit kami duai sigi udah netapka ngasuh Paulyn ngaga.
Oswald, Osbert & Cris

Maie & Yon. Yon, anak Ju ke biak, diatu sekula ba Sapura Smart School, akak iya Yen ba MMU, belajar law.

Tua Maie mega shopping ngagai Jln TAR, meli kain kena ngaga baju flower girls & bridesmaids. Sempat belelak ngirup kupi ba Coliseum cafe - nyamai snek tu, coklat besalut pisang goreng.

Malam ari siti kami tiga Cris makai ba Tony Roma. Tengah ari tua Maie sempat merarau di Ikea, makai meatballs. Nya meh sebengkah ma ka KL, sigi ngisi perut, kelebih agi makai pemakai ti dikerindu.

Utai bukai : tukang ngambi gambar, video, tukang makeup, tukang ngias pentas

Cris & Maie udah bulih urang ke ngambi gambar & video. Dah tu ila tua menyanak deka nguji siku urang ke direkomen bala pangan aku, ke pandai ngesep urang. Convener ba hotel pin bisi meri nama tukang makeup ngagai Maie, sama urang lelaki ga tukang nya. Enti ta chun, iya meh ngias Maie ila. Tu ka nangi-nangi aku, laban diri ke enda nemu ngias sema ta enda manah makeup, kasih ga tudah anak. Nya alai ta bai aku nguji ila, enti enda chun makeup siku, ngiga tukang bukai ga ila. Diatu aku benung ngiga urang ngias pentas, simple aja ku ati aku din, nitihka peneka sa anak. Ngiga bala urang Melayu aku, laban sida sigi pandai ba pengawa ti bakatu.

Kami serumah mega udah baum, nyendiaka diri ngatur pengerami ba rumah panjai. Puji Tuhan bala sepenemu, nyamai amat endur ngatur pengawa. Nyu tekenyit aku ke pulai empai lama tu kemari, ninga urang bebelika kerusi, pinggai mangkuk Giacomo ari indai Kumo, meli kain tabir jendila.. oo, lawa amat kita neh, ku aku. Eh, nganta ka urang ke ka melah pinang ah, pia ku sida. Aku lalu tuchum, maklum la urang rumah panjai diatu udah manah amat ekonomi, ketegal ke sawit udah mansutka asil, tambahka getah agi. Ma nangkal sari tubuh dua, bulih RM200 rega getah. Puji Tuhan....

The Home Run

2011-03-23T22:43:00.025+08:00

"Hello, saints of Miri!"

That was how Father Gino Henriques greeted 700 of us who attended the Women's Conference at Mega Hotel, Miri, from 18 to 21 March 2011. The conference was organised by the Women's Core Team of our diocese (Miri) and it drew particpants from KK, KL, Kuching, Sibu, Labuan, Marudi, Limbang, Long San and Bintulu. It was for us not only a time for renewal, but also a time for fellowship.

700 women praising and worshipping God, 700 voices praying in tongues....so Fr Gino said he was "blessed among women"..he he..

Last year the theme of Fr Gino's teaching was "Set Free". God gives Fr Gino the gift of healing spiritual and physical illnesses. Last year he exhorted us to seek spiritual healing first, in line with what Jesus teaches in Mathew 6:33 "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness. And all of these things will be given unto you". Fr Gino told us that each one of us is unique and precious to God, and God loves each of us like the tenderest of mother (Isaiah 49). He told us that each of us is beautiful, that beauty is not in the face, shapely body or long legs, but in the heart and personality. Fr Gino was good in affirming us, so many were healed of low self-esteem, negative emotions, and many were able to forgive themselves and those who hurt them. During the healing service, many were healed of their physical infirmities - of cancer, athritis, back pain, heart problems. The most dramatic was a lady who could not walk well due to a bad back pain. She was healed, the pain went away and she could walk straight after the healing service. She cried joyfully and gave thanks to the Lord for healing her through Fr Gino. Indeed, many were set free, spiritually and physically.

Anak menyadi aku, Kumang, mega bulih penyuman maya nya suba. Kumang pemalu, iya ngasaika diri baruh, ngasaika urang enda paham iya. Kendua menyadi aku Jacinta ta kebil-kebil mata lebuh Kumang enggau Maie ngenang ajar Fr Gino ke madahka apai indai ukai semina enda tau nyamah tang enda tau kasar jaku enggau anak, laban tubuh kitai "temple of the holy spirit", "the sanctuary of God". Dini meh kendua menyadi enda kala kasar jaku, lebuh maya ke enda liat ati.

Tua dadi kala nyipat Maie & Sudan ketegal seduai ke be internet besari-sari maya seduai Pom 2 & 1 kelia, ketegal kami duai laki bini nangi ke seduai meda website ke enda menyana, enggai ke ngamahka runding, enggai ke sida nyu ka nunda. Kami duai menyadi minta ampun, aku lalu nyaut Maie & Kumang, madahka semua utai ti digaga kami sigi kena ngasal (discipline) sida, ngambika sida mereti, lalu kami ngereja nya ari pengerindu, penyayau ke sida. Ukai bisi sekula ti endur kami belatih dulu nyadi apai indai ke manah, pia mega ukai bisi chara ti udah ditetapka kena mutarka tiap iti penanggul, pia ku aku nyaut. Itah baka urang ke besekula kitai ke nyadi apai indai, mula belajar A, B, C, dah nya macha, nulis, dah nya ngarang jerita, dah nya problem solving. Ma betul ma salah meh utai digaga kitai. Nyu udah tuai agi, nyu mayuh agi ga peneleba, nyu nemu agi ga kitai ngiring bala anak.

Maie & Sudan ka amat ngenang maya seduai agi Primary 1 - 2 suba, seduai enda diberi duit kena meli bekal di kantin sekula, laban enda ngasuh sida bebelika pemakai ari kantin, tang mai bekal ari rumah. Seduai nusi diri ngining kerupuk ke dipakai bala pangan, nya alai kadang-kadang trade in sida, seduai makai kerupuk urang, urang makai bekal seduai. Ta lesay-lesay tudah diri ma seduai ngenang nya, nyu besalah asai laban ke enda meratika anak ke inginka makai pemakai luar maya nya. Ku penemu aku, aku ngasuh sida mai bekal ngambi ulih nyaga pengerai, laban ulih ngintu pemeresi pemakai ti disedia di rumah. Ni la aku nemu seduai iya ngining kerupuk urang, sida enda ga madahka aku maya nya, nyu diatu baru ka amat ngenang nya ba mua aku. Lagi-lagi tudah aku berasai besalah. Enti seduai bisi macha blog tu anak, badu seduai mendera emosi aku udah tu. Move on meh kitai, ngenang utai ke diatu. Kemaya meh kami duai dadi enda nge au ka utai ku kita enti nya patut ba runding kami. Kelebih agi Raden Adjeng Sudan kami nya, ta enda tau nyebut, sigi di au ka dadi magang. Enda agi aku tu dibelika apai iya utai enti dibandingka sida tiga menyadi.

Father Gino obliged my request for a shoot with him. Fr Gino is a Redemptorist priest, based in Singapore. He is gifted by God with the gift of healing.

This year Fr Gino's theme is 'The Home Run - We Are Made For Heaven". Each of us is called to be a saint. To be a saint is to be holy 'You shall be holy to me, for I, the Lord, am holy, I who have set you apart from the other nations to be my own" (Leviticus 20:26). To be holy, we must "love the Lord God with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our strength" (Deuteronomy 6:5; Mathew 22:37) and love our neighbour as we love ourselves (Leviticus 19:18; Mathew 22:39). These, as you know, are the two commandments of our Christian faith. Fr Gino gave us a tip on how to love someone who is difficult to love - look at his good qualities and pray for his bad attitude. Ka pritis aku, nguji rinduka urang ke ka amat ngemaruhka pengarap kitai Kristin.

Fr Gino mega ngajar bekeni ku kitai ulih kering ngelaban penguji. Penguji datai ulih pengingin kitai - kitai mayuh utai di ingin, nya alai enti kitai enda nemu nagang pengingin enggau manah, kitai sigi labuh ngagai penguji. Nya kita indu, enda umbas sepasang dua pasang kasut, meli mayuh-mayuh, nyu enda alah kena, ku Fr Gino. Kena sumpit aku wai, ngenang diri ke suah meli kasut. Dah tu aku nguji nagang diri, aku besampi awakka Roh Kudus nulung aku, laban aku lemi.

Desire must be guided by the mind, inner spirit and the Holy Spirit, pia ku Fr Gino. "Walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not gratify the desire of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16). Reti "Flesh" nya ukai semina pengingin tubuh, tang nyengkaum semua pengingin ti enda ditagang kitai. Ba Galatians 5:17, "works of the flesh " dirintaika bakatu: ngereja utai kamah, utai ti jai, nyembah engkeramba, bemanang, bemunsuh, belaya, kepapas, ringat, beripih, bedengki, mabuk, ngintu pengerami kelalu iga enggau kamah (orgies). "Anang nitihka adat dunya, tang awakka Allah Taala ngubah runding enggau ati kita enggau chukup" pia ku Romans 12:2. Ayat Romans 12:1 madahka bekeni kitai ulih enda nitihka peneka dunya, ia nya nyerahka diri empu nyadi piring ti idup ngagai Allah Taala. Kitai nyadi piring ma kitai ngasaika pemerinsa (suffering) ngelaban pengingin, lalu kitai nyuaka pemerinsa nya ngagai Allah Taala. Pemerinsa mayuh bagi, bisi mental, physical, psychological enggau redemptive suffering.

Ngambika pejalai kitai nuju menua amai mujur, Fr Gino meri survival kit bakatu : selalu besembiang, selalu macha Bup Kudus, nerima sakramen Ekarist, Reconciliation, rinduka pangan baka kitai rinduka diri empu enggau meritaka injil. Ba senentang pengawa ti meritaka injil, tiap iku kitai Kristin dikanggauka Jesus megai pengawa meritaka injil (Mathew 28:19-20). Siti chara ti pengabis manah kena kitai meritaka injil, ti ulih dikereja semua kitai nya besaksika Jesus nengah pengidup kitai besari-sari. Ma kitai besemak enggau Allah Taala, Roh kudus ti diau ba kitai deka ngadaka buah, ia nya pengerindu, pengaga, pemaik, pengeliat ati, penelap, pemadas, penaluk, pemaruh ati enggau runding ti ulih nagang tubuh diri (Galatians 5:22).Kitai besaksika Jesus nengah pengerindu, pengaga, pemaik, pengeliat ati, penelap, pemadas, penaluk, pemaruh ati enggau runding ti ulih nagang tubuh diri.

My sister, Jacinta, with my cousin Philomena (in white cardy) and an old friend Alice, from Batu Niah. Tetegu ati aku ninga utai disebut Philomena. Iya nusi bala kami serumah bukai enggai dibai iya, laban nangika enda nemu utai ti ku urang, ketegal ke kurang ba jaku omputih. Aku enda beduli wai, ku Philomena, yes ku urang yes ga ku aku, urang sembiang dalam jaku urang putih, aku sembiang dalam ati ga, pia ku iya. Itu dia! Philomena mega tukay neo, tiap bulan iya nyual bepuluh-puluh tan buah sawit.

With a Franciscan sister, Sister Maria. She was based in Bintulu once, now she is in Marudi.

Udah datai maya

2010-12-29T22:14:00.018+08:00

Malam 27 Dec kami sebilik, kaban belayan begulai enggau bala ari Sibu enggau Belaga ngerami Maie enggau Cris betunang.

My son-in-law to be, Crispin Nyipa, is the eldest son of Mr Ali Basah (Alex) and Madam Dorothy Adrian. Cris works as a consultant in KL.

Cris' mom bearing the tray carrying the engagement ring.

Alex & Dot, Dadi and I with our respective firstborn.

Begambar begulai enggau apai indai & aki ini.
Sarang tinchin

Bala kaban belayan
My beautiful isans-to-be : Carol (Mrs Christopher Adrian) and Alex's four sisters.
Rev Fr Kevin Chundi blessing the engagement ring.
Engagement blessing.
Cris' aunts, uncle and cousins.

Family members.
Rev Father Kevin and Alex.
Rev Father Kevin Chundi besembiang, merekat seduai ke betunang.

Ika aku apai Julie ngelalu ka penatai bala. Udah nya dadi bejaku, ditangkanka aki Cris.

Menyadi aku apai Sampai enggau indai Muntai, sereta apai Muntai.

Bala petunggal enggau ibu.

Benung makai.

Menyadi aku indai Anna, indai Julie enggau petunggal aku indai Ann & Mary ari Miri.

Begulai enggau bala isans-to-be enggau ini Cris.

Sudan begulai enggau ika aku apai Julie.

Maie enggau menyadi aku indai Julie.
Ibu aku begulai enggau ipar aku.

Tiga menyadi

Losing someone you love

2010-11-15T23:07:00.037+08:00

Today a superior in the office told us he lost his mother over the weekend. He couldn't go to her funeral, he was ill and she had to be buried fast according to the customs of their faith. I am sorry for him, for I can't bear the thought of not being there to hold in my arms someone I love and pray the divine mercy as he/she breathes his/her last, to be at his/her bed side to say the final goodbye, and to be at the funeral to throw flowers when he/she is lowered to the final resting place. May God have mercy on her soul and may she rests in peace.

His story of his mother reminded me of my mom.

My mom is 80 years old and barring some ailments to the legs which we have been trying to ease with glucosamine and chrondoitin with some small success, she is healthy, praise the Lord, thank you Lord. However for the last few years my mom has been talking about death, wondering when the Lord will take her. There is no fear in her, she is always eager, always ready to meet her Maker. Last year when we visited my father's grave, she said, "you are happy dear, you are already with the Lord". She had given instructions for whatever savings she has to be used for her funeral expenses, including for buying her casket. We just smiled at her, refused to be drawn into her eagerness to meet the Lord.

When she dies, I will be grateful that she has lived a long life, that she is happy, that she got to see her children married, bearing and raising children, that she got to see her grandchildren successful and happy. Above all, I will be happy that she has become a devout Christian and like her, I burst with hope that she will see the beatific vision upon death.

I will grieve, for even now tears came to my eyes as I thought of what she had gone through. My maternal grandma was ill with leprosy, she lived in a leprosy centre in Kuching, leaving my mother and aunt bereft of a mother's love and care. My mom was motherless at the age of about 10 years old. My maternal grandpa did the best he could to bring up his three children, but nothing could replace the love of a mother. My mom married at about 18 years old and bore five children - Jacinta, Patricia, Martin, Lily and me. I am the middle child, for my Iban name she named me Sarimah, after the film star Sarimah, her idol.

My mom was widowed in her forties. She raised us three youngest siblings, gave us the best she could offer, always ensuring there was rice on the tikai bemban - no, not on the table, but on the straw mat, as we could not afford to buy one. There was just this round marble-topped table but that was used for my study table. The table was bought during better times, when my father was still alive. The marble table top is still with us, kept by my eldest sister, Jacinta, with whom my mom is living now. I guess it keeps her connected to the past, its joys and pains. On most days the rice was served with daun ubi, changkuk manis, paku, kemiding and several times a week, fried eggs and fish. My late uncle Jangin was an avid angler, he always gave us some portion of his catch. Meat was a luxury, we had it on several occassions a month, after Jacinta sent money home - Jacinta was a teacher. My children ever asked me whether I missed the good food, etc. I told them I didn't, for how could I miss something I never had.

Even with the little we had, mom always ensured that I brought money to school, enough for me to buy meehoon, kuih or nasi lemak. In those days, a packet of mee and nasi lemak cost 30 cents and kuih, 20 cents. A packet of mee and a piece of kuih was enough to see me through until I got home from school by about 1.30 pm. Together with my aunts, sometimes mom worked at the pepper garden of our Chinese neighbours, earning RM5.00 per day. Out of the meagre sum, she made sure there was some money for me to buy books. I was so much in love with reading English novels. Apart from borrowing books from the school library, I bought Women's Weekly novels, then priced at RM1.00 each. It was ironic - we were poor but my mom ensured that was a luxury I kept. It bore fruit mom, for the things I read made me curious to know the world, it fueled me to be successful in my studies, so that one day I could eat the food described in the novels, I could wear beautiful dresses like the ones I read about, I could see places mentioned in the books. I passed my passion for reading to my daughters mom, and like me they found the immeasurable joys of reading. Today my shelves are overflowing with books. Thank you mom, for feeding my passion for books.

We went to church every Sunday. I was in the choir. In those days I liked to sing and I sang at the top of my voice. I seldom sing now - well only karaoke during Gawai at the long house where folks are not too bothered with whether you got the pitch right or hit the high notes well. When I was in Form 2, I particpated in a talentine competition, nama utai ulih, nadai lumor wai, keruan enda ngemuaska ati ti ka belagu. It was only in my late teens that I realised I was no Uji Rashid material, one of my favourite singers in the 70s. Yes, some people learnt late... Mom never complained about my singing, I guess she allowed me to express myself, unknowingly nurturing the budding of my self-confidence.

When I was still studying in Niah, I helped mom with the farm works on Saturdays and school holidays. Like most folks in Niah then, we planted pepper and paddy. Working was not unpleasant for my aunts took me under their wings. They told stories that made me laughed, they helped me carried the raga - the rattan basket - when it was full and heavy with ripened pepper berries. After school, I made sure our house was spick and span you could lie down on our anak tangga without having to worry about dirtying your body or clothes.

After I graduated from university and started work, I invited mom to stay with me - I wanted to care for her like she cared for us. However she said no, she couldn't leave my sister and my nephew & niece - she was looking after them. Then a few years ago I once again asked her to stay with me, again she said no, your sister, brother in law and Ann-Marie need me, she said. I will move in with you after Ann-Marie starts to walk by herself, mom said. That's my mom, always humble, always giving of herself, but finding joy in doing so. Truly the faith is alive in her. May God continue to bless you mom.

If I am God-fearing, hardworking, dependable and loving deeply the people I care for today, I credit it to the values I learnt from my father, mother, aunts and relatives. I am grateful for my religious upbringing. I am proud to have come from hardworking stock. I am proud to belong to people willing to sacrifice for the happiness and wellbeing of others. I am proud to belong to people who when we love, love deeply, till the end. My aunts, like my mom, were widowed young and they never remarried. People were mostly fooled by their appearance - they saw them tough on the outside but didn't know they are gooey inside. My aunts brought up my cousins well and for more than two decades, my aunts never had to work again, for their children took them in, loving and taking care of them in return...thank you Lord.

When I heard and saw how some mothers and mothers-in-law are meddling, I vowed to myself not to be one, I vowed to be like mom, always giving of myself, always nurturing, always giving joy to the people I love.

My Jogja Girl

2010-11-10T23:30:00.018+08:00

No, Mami, I will not go to Solo. Our posting at Banjarnegara ends tomorrow and my friends and I will return to Jogjakarta. I will stay put at Jogjakarta. See it from my point of view Mi, I am training to be a doctor, I am in the business of helping people. It just won’t do for me to blah at the first sign of trouble, she said. Furthermore the uni is strict, I don’t want to have to repeat my posting to Ops if I take leave. Yes my housemates have all been evacuated to Solo, but I will stay with friends. Don't worry about me, I’ll be safe, I know what to do. That's what my daughter told me over the phone last Friday, 5 Nov. She was away in Banjarnegara, interning at a health facility there - its 3 hrs drive from Jogjakarta - so she wasn't among the Malaysian students evacuated to Solo and flown home over the weekend.

What can I say in the face of her resoluteness? To plead with her to come home would make a travesty of my faith, of what I believe in. So I pulled the greatest cable of all times - I pleaded to God. Early Saturday morning, Maie and I went to church and I asked Father Michael, our parish priest, to offer mass for her safety, and the safety of Malaysian students at Jogjakarta. I was comforted, for during the sermon Fr Mike said not to worry, not to allow events to control us, rather we should place our trust in God, that God will see us through.

Her university had suspended classes for 10 days to organise aid to villagers in evacuation camps and the injured are taken to the Sardjito Hospital, the teaching hospital where she is doing her internship. She told me most are suffering from burns, one man at ICU is still unidentified – he was burnt real bad.

In her 1st year at medical school, she expressed her desire to work in poor countries after she graduates. I told her you don’t have to go far to serve the sick, there's plenty of help needed at home… ba ulu sungai, ba rumah panjai, tak mungkang bebai kantung kita tiga menyadi ila ngubat urang ke begunaka tulung ku aku. So I guess the Merapi eruption has given her an opportunity to witness first hand how its like to bring healing and comfort to people in need.

Sudan has always been determined, in many ways she is like me. But she is also a bit quiet like you know who. When she was in Form 5, she saw me coming home from office, tired. So she told me, I will study hard Mi, so that I get good results and obtain a scholarship, then you don’t have to work any more, okay? Au, ku aku. See, she has a view that mothers should stay home, raising children. Pahai aku kasak anak aku nya, study high high tang nyu ka nyadi indai fulltime. Ee, ukai nadai ama deh, pia ku aku nyaut.

She is not beyond doing something outrageous, well, outrageous by my standard. Two years ago she came home for the holidays, with streaks of blonde and plum colored hair. Ngapu aku. Anang nganu Mi, I was so stressed during the exam, I needed to destress by doing something extraordinary, pia ku iya.

The next time she came home, she told me she wanted to have a tattoo. No, absolutely not, over my dead body, ku aku. She is not my child without knowing that in that tone of voice I really, really mean business. So she went back to Jogja, opened her Bible and looked up where in the Bible that says Christians can’t have tattoos. She thought that its against the teachings of the faith to have tattoos and that must be the reason why I forbade her. She found the appropriate verse in Leviticus 19:28

“You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead, nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD”.

Oh, no wonder Mami said no, ku iya. I didn’t know she went to such length until early this year when the family was holidaying in Phuket. We were in the MPV and talking about Iban tattoos and Igat, who has been fascinated by tattoos since he did an assignment on that subject in high school, told us he wishes to have bungai terong tattoo on his shoulders one day. Oh, aku rindu amat ka pantang bungai terong, ku aku, remembering the bungai terong that my late grandpa and his Batang Rejang relatives spotted. When she heard that, she thought I was okay with Igat's plan. She roared from the back seat. Mami! Enda asi! Aku enda di asuh nuan bepantang, Igat di asuh di! pia ku iya. ‘Igat, you can’t have tattoo, its forbidden – its in Leviticus”, she prompty told Igat. That’s how I knew she looked it up in the Bible. Igat’s reaction was so vehement – “why do you have to tell me that its forbidden! I’d rather not know so that I can do the tattoo. Now that I know, I won’t dare to do it”, pia ku Igat. Nama ga kita enggai enda madahka aku nya enda tau. Uji anang madah, lak ka aku ngereja nya. Tu aku nemu nya enda tau, nyu enda aku ulih bepantang, pia ku Igat, naka pengerenjan iya ngelabuhka jaku. Keh keh keh, ga iya chali chali bala anak aku… kasih amat, ka amat bepantang….

Well the Catholic position on body tattoo is like this – Body art as a form of adornment that is ordered to the ultimate good of the person and humanity, if it observes modesty and avoids vanity and if it respects the fundamental integrity of the human person – including integrity of the body – that kind of body art can be morally permissible. Eyebrow tattoo would seem to be morally permissible. But that is quite distinct from many of personal mutilation that many of today’s extreme tattoos and piercings entails. We are to discern which form of tattoo is sinful and harmful and which is acceptable and morally neutral. For Christians, the guideline we should follow is aptly expressed by Scripture,

‘Your adornment should not be an external one, but rather the hidden character of the heart ..which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

In a nutshell, don’t do at all, for you may not be able to discern well, or you may be motivated by vanity – an inordinate self-love related to the sin of pride - this makes it sinful. This is the reason why the Church warns us against the incipient moral danger associated with extreme forms of body art.

From the context of Leviticus 19:28, Catholic bible scholars view the prohibition as part of Jewish ritual laws, not moral laws for which Christians are bound. As Christians, we are bound by moral laws contained both in the Old and New Testaments, but we are not bound by Jewish ritual laws.

Tang, Sudan, Igat, the answer is still NO!!!

PS I love you my Jogja Girl, more than words can say. Stay safe, stay smart and don't forget the Evacuation Plan... di asuh aku nyimpan gari, ai irup enggau pemakai handy ba kerita, ambi ulih ngebu ka diri ma Merapi tak meletup enggau balat. Iya madah sida ka lari ka tunga Parangtitis, mua ka selatan Jogja (Merapi mua ka utara).

Tu gambar ke dilekatka Igat ba assignment iya suba. Minat amat Igat ka Ernesto, nanya aku sekalika aku nemu sapa Ernesto. Nemu aku ku aku, lawyer baka aku iya. Pandai amat iya neh Mi, pia ku Igat. Au. Asai ka bisi studio iya ba KL din, kelimpah ari ka ba Kuching, pia ku aku.

Antu udah nemu nama

2010-10-24T11:37:00.011+08:00

Empai lama tu kemari tua dadi nemuai ngagai sida apai Kumo, nunga bala ke bisi datai ari menua. Sigi baka sida sekaban, ma begempuru sigi nadai jerita bukai, ngenang sawit aja. Diatu bala anak menyadi, anak petunggal dadi ke gawa di Bintulu sama besawit magang, nya alai sida gagit amat. Urang di menua pin gaga laban ari ke besawit bala anak suah agi pulai ke menua, meri penampak ngagai pengidup sida.

Lebuh ke berandau, Bakar (au, anak apai Bakar ke lelingut nya meh) lalu nusi tanah ke diungkup apai enggau indai iya ke seduai apai Cassie berimbai enggau pendam. Sekali lebuh sida biak suba kala sida me-indai-indai lari meda utai ta guyap-guyap semak babas mua ka pendam. Nemu nya tudah niang apai B, ngiga daun sabung semak nya. Apai B enggau indai B benung ngumpul buah engkabang. Seduai nadai nemu takut ku sida, seruran ta bemalam sebelah tanah. Ma ka tinduk seduai ngelamun tubuh enggau buah engkabang, ambi enda empa nyamuk!

Sida pin lalu mulaika pengingat, bisi lebih 10 taun ti udah, sida sekaban begau pulai ke menua tengah malam laban indai B udah lelang kenu ku urang di menua. Sida sekaban di Bintulu lalu begau, datai ngagai rumah kami, baum ka pulai. Siku ari sida nadai minyak, nyu ulih ngumpa minyak ari kerita kami ke siti, namaka ngagai tangki kerita ia. Maya nya stesin minyak enda buka 24 jam baka ke diatu (nya alai dadi enda ngelak ka kerita nadai minyak, enggai ka tusah ka ngesah urang di menua ku iya. Taja diatu bisi stesin 24 jam, dadi mengkang enda ngeleka ka pengawa ti bejaga-jaga bakanya).

Datai di menua, sida lalu ngagai langkau kebun apai B, seduai melaki bini diau di kebun laban nanam sawit. Apai B nusi seduai melaki-bini bisi becheregay lemai nya, nya alai indai B lari. Abis sebelah madang sawit enggau umai seduai di tujah sida malam nya, rauh-rauh nganggau, tang lalu enda tetemuka indai B. Nyu dini ari bedau ga indai B temu, nya alai sida ngetu, lalu berunding ngiga baru pagi siti. Laban ke nyau lapar, bala pin lalu bebela, munuh serati. Nyu makai meh sida dini ari nya. Ia enda lama udah nya, urung pukul 4 pagi, peda ta nyunggah indai B. Urang pin lalu nanya iya, kini nuan tadi, ku urang. Peda ta enda tentu stidi jaku enggau pejalai indai B, iya lalu nusi diri baru pulai ari langkau ini Yi, ngirup tuak din ku iya. He he he, uhang ke digiga nyu happy hour dataika dini ari!!! Pama bintis manuk indu kami nya!!!

Tembu nusi jerita apai enggau indai B, sida lalu ngenang pendam lama sida di ai Dijih, naka pengerepa ku jaku. Takut mansa diatu ku sida. Udah nya Bakar lalu nusi baru ga jerita L ke mansang mukat enggau nginti ba tebing ai semak pendam di Sg Dijih. Ka geli-geli L ke nginti kia, tang iya ka kia laban dia mayuh ikan. Endur iya ke mukat melakangka pendam lama. Baru ka ngenan pukat, dia L lalu ninga urang nganggau ka iya, nyebut nama. Antu!! pia ku L, iya pin lalu lari enda be apai enda be indai. Utai di tinggal ka iya magang. Datai di rumah iya lalu madah ngagai entua iya, ku iya

'apu apai, enda lama agi mati aku laban antu udah nemu nama aku'.

Sida sebilik pin lalu besudi, ngambi semengat L. Apin lama udah sida ke besudi, L betemu enggau apai tuai siku ke dikelala iya, apai tuai nya diau enda jauh ari rumah panjai sida. Ku apai tuai nya nganu L, ia nama kebuah nuan ta lari maya aku nganggauka nuan sari nya, aku ba puchuk kayu enda jauh ari nuan ke nginti. Aku nginau babi meda balat amat bekau pelangkan dia ku apai tuai nya. He he baru la L nemu ukai antu ke nganggau ka iya, tang mensia!!! Aku lalu lekik-lekik ketawa... amat pahai kitai enti antu udah nemu nama...

Learning to trust

2010-10-23T00:01:00.014+08:00

Mami, please pray for me, I am having a hard time with my revision, so said Igat several weeks ago. Oh, I’ve prayed for you this morning, son, I responded. Mami, please pray for me now Mami, now, Igat entreated. I heard the urgency of his need, so over the phone, I prayed for and with Igat, asking God to give him the wisdom and understanding required to excel in his studies, asking God to take away his anxieties, asking God to give him good health, asking God to cover and protect him against all dangers, trials and temptations.

Feel better now? I asked, and Igat said yes. I told him not to worry, I told him to put his trust in God, because God answers all prayers. I don’t want him sick in the head over his studies, his spiritual and physical wellbeing is more important to me than acing A-levels examinations.

A mother would know the kind of prayer I made – the one that comes deep from the heart, a plea, a cry out to God for peace of a much beloved son. That’s why a mother’s prayer is powerful because it’s from the heart – born out of faith. (James 5:17). Thank you Lord, because almost a month had passed and Igat is doing okay now, a lot of study to do but happy. Just this evening he cheerfully told me he’s fighting to the end. God will see you through son, there’s no doubt about it.

I’ve been reflecting on how I measured in trusting God. I realized that I was a fine one for talking to Igat about trusting God while at times I too am short in that department. There were times when I still worry even after lifting up prayers to the Lord. Last year when Igat was ill during the H1N1 outbreak, I was so worried for him. He was away from home and I was not there to care for him. Yes I prayed, in tears, pleading with God to protect Igat from the dreaded virus, asking God to make him well again. But after the prayers my anxiety remained. Had there been a flight out of Bintulu to Kuala Lumpur that evening I would had gone to see Igat.

It was also with anxiety that I left Jogjakarta in August 2006 after visiting Met. Jogjakarta was still trembling after the devastating earthquake in May of the same year. I worried about her personal safety, my heart ached that she had to live away from the comforts of home. I surrendered her to the Lord, but I still worried. Cried, even.

What did my actions say about trusting God? I failed, miserably. Truly I identify with the lyricist in the hymn “And I Thank You Lord”, the one about not putting our human nature down and let God take control of all we do. Trusting God is to let go of our dependence on our own strength and capabilities and instead rely on His strength. Trusting God is to have peace in our hearts come what may. Trusting God is believing that everything will turn out to be good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Trusting God is to accept in humble obedience His will in our lives.

When I was a young magistrate, a lawyer who’s also a friend popped into my chambers and told me of his flight from Kuching to Bintulu. The plane encountered turbulence and he was scared out of his wits. To his amazement, a priest who was sitting next to him was so calm and relaxed. And he told me “how nice to have that kind of faith”. My friend found the faith – he and his family converted to Christianity, still actively serving the church.. 25 years on and that conversation is still fresh on my mind.

So what do I tell the Lord?

I am sorry Lord for my lack of trust in you. I am learning to trust You fully Lord, so help me. If you would stretch your patience with me, I promise to be a good disciple. Amen.

Lelingut, Lelingai

2010-09-26T17:00:00.035+08:00

Lelingut Apai Bakar

Gawai tu kemari kami menyanak bisi ngabang ngagai sida Apai Bakar, ba rumah panjai di ulu Dijih. Iya nya tanah aya apai Maie, lalu bini iya petunggal dua kali dadi. Nya meh tudah indai Bakar enggau menantu iya indai Cassie nyu kisuk ngenah ka kami pemakai. Pia Cassie riak-riak nyabak, enda tan angat lalu takut meda sekeda palan ba bilik dapur enda terang. Momok mami, pia ku Cassie. Kasih sida uchu, teleba diau nyamai di nengeri, enda nakal diau ba rumah panjai laban nadai karan kena masang aircon, injin api muti ulih musinka kipas. Nyu ke penyuah indai Bakar kelut-kelut mantaika pemakai, nya iya lalu nyebut ngagai apai Bakar. Salin lalu sadung ai nya apai Bakar, anang ta bara lelingut dia, pia ku uhang indu. Kami menyanak pin lalu engkikir ketawa ninga indai Bakar ngumbai laki iya lelingut. Tuchum kambin tudah apai Bakar, matak setan lalu nuang ai...

Lelingai Apai Maie

Aku lalu ngingatka apai Maie, lebih kurang baka apai Bakar nya meh maya nerima pengabang. Enti apai Bakar lelingut apai Maie lelingai, bepelawik patung nunga temuai. Puji Tuhan iya mayuh bala anak menyadi enggau menantu, bala menantu mantu aku bebantaika utai, sida ke lelaki nyadung ai enggau utai dempa. Apai Maie kala nusi ka kami menyanak jaku niang apai iya suba, enti ta semua mela, sapa ke makai legi, pia ku niang aki sa Maie. Au, sekira apai Maie nusi jaku apai iya ngambi aku ke enda bebai mela meh nya. Apu, enti aki labang, apai labang, enda alah ga Igat nunda ku aku. Aku lalu nangkap Igat, lalu madahka iya nuan anang bakanya ila Igat, enda tau enda nulung bini nuan, kelebih agi enti seduai sama gawa. Au Mi, ku tudah Igat. Ba aku, pia mega pelaba aku, ba mayuh kitai indu bukai, enda kitai ngiruh laki maya ari biasa, tang enti maya gawai, maya berami, kitai sigi begunaka tulung laki enggau anak. Semua tulang dipeguna magang, husband or not, tuan or not. Kati asai sida neh, enti kitai indu ta rendih-rendih, sebaka enggau sida ke bepelawik patung?

Lelingai di Kuala Lumpur
Tu aku nusi jerita diri empu. Ari lima tu kemari aku bisi ngulu aum di Kuala Lumpur, baru pulai lemai mari. Udah tembu baum, ngalih ari nya aku ngagai Sogo, lama amat udah enda kia, ka meda angka bisi gari ka chun ba mata, kena sembiang. Tudah diri enda tebai ka diri enggau urang bepisin iga ba pekayan, ngipak ka tubuh, ngipak ka umur, ngipak ka gamal ga kitai begari.

Aku ta asai ke bemimpi remban enti meda kitai indu ngena gari bekebelik maya siang ari, tau ke ngena gari ke sendat, nyu ngayanka gumpal isi. Pemadu ia enggai dipeda aku bala indu ke maya kami tu, tauka biak agi, ke ngena tanchut getah ke sendat, apu wai, amat ta pelimping gumpal pah enti kitai gemu. Pia ka nyu ayan sirang tanchut dalam laban tanchut nya ngempit. VPL (visible panty lines) nya a no-no ku urang ke pandai senentang adat basa begari. Ta pejam enchelak, pejam enchelak mata aku ma meda bala wai wai kitai Iban ba sebelah pasar maya ari minggu bepekayan bakanya.

Siti agi legging ke pandak, ba tengan betis aja, lalu kadang-kadang bisi ribin ba tisi. Ku aku bisi bagi urang ke tau ngena legging enggau ke enda. Enti urang tinggi, manah tubuh, ehem, urang ke biak meh, manah ga ngena legging, laban tubuh sida manah, lalu bisi shape datai ke baruh din. Tang enti tua gemu, isi nyu begumpal ba dada enggau punggung, di baruh aja ke mit agi, nyu baka katun spongebob enggau square pants kitai. Tambah ka enti t-shirt tauka baju kitai pandak, alamak, ayan sirang W ba belakang, ayan sirang V ba mua, terumbu ga tinggi, enti tanchut sendat amat nyu W meh ba mua ("camel's hoofs" ku sa Maie & Sudan madahka aku), .......pahai wai kitai nyu nyadi utai kena merindang ati uhang ke meda!!!

Nitihka utai ti dibacha enggau dipeda aku, adat kitai indu begari bakatu: lalai ka utai ti enda manah, kemas ka ba bagi tubuh ke manah. Enti berang kitai besai, anang ngena baju ke enda beberang, enggai ka nyu baka pemalu tawak lengan kitai, chukup enda manah. Pia mega enti kitai gemu, enda semesti iya kitai ngena gari ke balat begimbo, enggai ka ta nadai shape lalu. Umbas ia ga pengelunggar gari, chukup kena ngelalaika spare tyre enggau gumpal isi. Oso, anang ngena baju dalam ke sendat, enggai ke dipeda begumpal isi kitai ari belakang ma baju kitai fit. Gaya kitai begari pin tau ngasuh urang meragamka gaya pikir enggau pendiau kitai. Enti baju seksi, ngayanka sekeda buah labu, urang tau meragamka kitai nya bansa urang indu ke senang di ulih, dikuntik. It's about penampilan ku Melayu, bakani kitai begari, bakanya meh urang masa tauka enda masa kitai. Tambah kitai enda tau enda masa tubuh diri empu. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit ku Bup Kudus (1 Corinthians 6:19).

Au, pulai ngagai aku ke ka Sogo.

Nyadi ba Sogo, sida bisi ngadaka market segments ti bebida. Bisi gari ke manah kualiti sereta ngam ba urang ke ka begaya, tang rega ia mar agi. Pia mega bisi gari ke ngam ba urang ke enda tentu milih pisin, ditipak ka enggau rega ti murah agi, ulih di ibai ka urang mayuh. Nyadi aku tu ari market segment ke tengah-tengah, enggai meli utai mar, tang ka ke utai ti bisi kualiti. Siti pengelebih sida bisi ngadaka pisin ti chun ba aku, kain panjai, blaus pandak belengan panjai tauka tiga suku. Urang ke sama ngiga pisin bakanya sigi bala indu Melayu din, makcik-makcik baka aku....

Aku enda tetemuka utai ti di ke inginka ati, laban bisi pisin ti ngam ba aku tang kelalu balat ukir enggau churak - nyu genarau, betata batu ke seleka dua, pelaba aku laluh pisin Hari Raya. Andal amat aku ke kia, angka ta bulih sepasang dua ke umbas ia, ta lelingai kitai ngena baju baru neh, anang enti chun gamal.

Aku ke nurun ngagai Sogo nepan teksi churak gadung. Ka diambi ka bellboy teksi eksekutif ke biru- sida bellboy bisi diberi driba komisyen enti kitai ngena teksi nya - aku enggai laban mar bayar. Sida nya enda paham-paham ga ku ati aku din, kitai ke diau ba hotel mar bakanya (Grand Millenium) laban dibayar kempeni, ukai bayar diri empu, meda kitai ke diau dia kumbai ta mayuh duit kitai. Tambah mega kapa bangat mayar utai mar enti bisi ke murah. Nya aku minta tan ka sida teksi biasa. Datai teksi gadung aku lalu tama ninga bellboy madahka driba ka nganjung aku ke Sogo. Pakai meter kak, ku iya. Ok ku aku, lalu tama. Datai ba Sogo dipinta driba mayar RM20 lebih, peda aku meter amat nyampau nya. Aih deh deh, laban bara lelingai enda sedar ka diri ngambi teksi ke mar, bansa meter ke belanda...Ku jaku enggai bebayar mar, nyu mar ga bayar. Aku ke pulai muti RM10 lebih bayar aku laban ngena teksi mirah.

Nama kebuah aku tu ta ilap, enda meratika teksi nya tadi ku ati aku din, mutap ka diri empu. Nama kebuah aku ilap, laban bara lelingai, ngenang pemujur aum kami pagi nya, utai ti diperambuka kami udah dibantaika enggau manah ba urang ke ngaga pemutus, lalu udah dikemendarka urang. Nya alai laban aku ke nguluka market research sereta ngaga project proposal ti dibantaika bos besai kami, ta lelingai asai tudah diri...urang nadai pin muji kitai, tang kitai nemu meransang diri empu... enti enda pia enda ransing kitai ngereja pengawa....thank you ku urang, you are welcome ku kitai...lalu lelingut, lelingai kitai...

We try, but its never easy to say goodbye

2010-09-10T17:34:00.012+08:00

Dadi, Igat and I saw my 2nd daughter off this evening. She came last Sunday and was supposed to go back tomorrow, unfortunately she had to go earlier as she has to start her rotation at Radiology early Monday morning, 13 Sept. Mami, this is the worse part, leaving home, alone overnight in KL and missing you all, said my daughter. Once I reach Jogja, I will be fine, said Met. It's not easy for me too, honey, never has been and never will be. I became teary eyed going into their rooms, straightening the bedcovers, picking up hair bands and books by the side tables, closing their closets, putting away leftovers - snacks, pastries & roast and soon, my fridge will be half empty once again....Parting is such sweet sorrow. Thank God Igat is still home until next week.

Happy faces, waiting for food to be served at Lutong Cafe.

Daphne has to work for the raya holiday so we went to Miri to visit her. The first night's meal was at Lutong Cafe, they love the deep fried pork legs and fish head curry. Dinner for the 2nd night was at Apollo - for the ikan bakar.

Next day we went to Brunei - Daphne looked so forlorn at being left behind, Mami, she said, although I will be at the hospital today, my heart is with you all, acih ulu. We drove all the way to BSB and had lunch at a Thai restaurant, the Lemon Grass. We love Thai food and the tom yam and spicy fried fish was authentic Thai and delicious. On the return journey we dropped at Supa Save and Met & Igat oohed and aahed over the selection of biscuits and chips. Mami, may we buy more to bring back to college? Yes you may, ku aku. I was happy to be able to get goat's cheese, filo pastry, scones & flapjack mix. Thirty minutes later, dadi was left very much poorer! Datai di Miri kami tiga lalu bebantai, ngeso ka booty ngagai Maie. Udah pulai makai sida menyadi lalu snacking sambil berandau. Nya meh maya ke best, begulai, besulu enggau bala anak.

Lunch at BSB.

On the way home, we stopped at Niah for lunch. And look what I took home with me, a photo of aki Lakam, my maternal grandpa. This photo was taken in the early 60s, said mom. I have many fond memories of my aki Lakam, one day I will write about my times with him, so that my children will know of the great-grandpa they never met.

Stanislaus Belayong ak Ju, my aki Lakam, of Sg Sut, Batang Rajang.

Love like my mother, eldest sister and brother-in-law

2010-07-29T00:38:00.028+08:00

This was supposed to be a mother’s day tribute to the people I love, but I never did get to sit down and write, not until tonight. I’ve been thinking about my mother, sister, brother-in-law and Ann-Marie, missing them to be exact – I have not met them for about 3 weeks, not since dadi and I came to visit to see Kumang off (my youngest niece, Wendy – I call her Kumang cos she was born on Gawai day, 1 June)– she accepted an offer to do a degree course in TESL at Universiti Perguruan Sultan Idris and left for Tanjung Malim in early July, praise the Lord. My mother called last Sunday, asking how we were, told us she was home alone as my sister and brother-in-law had gone to Sibu. Maie wanted to pick her up but Indai said she couldn’t come to visit, she had promised to visit my youngest sister who was coming to pick her up at 5pm.

My mother, she's 80 years old

Since my brother-in-law (my children call him “Ayai”) retired, my sister (she’s “Tuai” – short for indai tuai - to my kids) and her family have been staying at their long house in Sepaduk, about 25 minutes drive from Bintulu town. They only come to stay at their house in town during weekends to attend Sunday mass, sometimes just for day trips. Their long house has the necessary utilities – piped water from LAKU, electricity from SESCO and of course Astro – so life is comfortable there. The only downside is there is poor coverage for mobile phones – so they installed a land line to their bilik.

When dadi and I miss them, we would drive to Sepaduk, close to dinner time, to join them for dinner. I love having dinner at their long house, because invariably they have hard-to-find lauk – jani kampung, jani menua, kasam ikan and not-so-hard to find but fresh daun ubi and changkuk. Sigi pemakai kitai Iban. During our last visit, we were served landak – my sister fried it with ginger and kichap – nyamai wai, mula nyima aku makai, angka tak bau, tang enda bau…bendar diri kami makai landak sambil ngirup Martini….ditambahka jani - benung kami menyanak dia urang bisi bulih jani, nya ipar aku lalu meli sepiak belakang & pah, alu diguring akak aku. Ia kami pulai dibekalka akak aku jani dibai pulai….…puji Tuhan.

My brother-in-law, sister and mother are not so mobile, as they have to take care of my grand niece, Ann-Marie Jeburi. She's named after my mother, Jeburi. She's my niece's 2nd child, she’s 4+ years old but still can’t walk – she was born premature and spastic, with very poor motor skills. In addition to the routine physiotherapy sessions in Bintulu, my brother-in-law and sister would send her to Sibu to meet with the specialist and physiotherapist once a fortnight. The exercises she has to undergo during the physiotherapy sessions are painful, she cries from the pain. It really breaks my heart to know she’s in pain. When Kumang was still home, Kumang gave her her daily massage, not a five or ten-minutes kind of routine, but hundreds of strokes to the limbs and lifting of hips to strengthen her pelvic muscles. She’s improving, now she can sit by herself and she’s learning to walk with a custom-made walker and in custom-made shoes.

Ann-Marie is so pretty and smart, she can speak and sing in English and when she sees a TV programme where a child is without a mother, she would say don’t cry, I don’t have a mother with me either. Bendar aku ngenatka ai mata ke ka labuh maya indai and akak aku nusi jerita iya. Now she’s missing Kumang, they became close since this year as Kumang was home most of the time, waiting for her STPM results. They watched cartoons of the likes of Pocahontas, they sang together, Kumang sang their cartoon song when she was asked to sing during her interview for the teaching course. Ann-Marie’s mother, my niece Julie lives in Johor, she’s a teacher and her husband is in the army – they have 4 other young children to take care of and with her teaching schedule, she is not able to send Ann-Marie for the medical treatment she needs. Plus, with her condition, Ann-Marie needs caregivers with lots of TLCs, and who better than her ini, aki and ini ichit to give her all the love and cares she needs.

My sister Jacinta and my bro-in-law Thomas Igai on their wedding day. They have 3 children: Julie is a marine biologist but opted to become a teacher, she went for teacher's training after completing her degree course; Barry the middle child is an engineer with one oil & gas company in Shah Alam and Wendy is the youngest. Dadi and I congratulated my bro-in-law and sister when Wendy got the offer to do TESL-God granted her prayer for a TESL course - we told them they are successful parents. God truly loves the humble and obedient of heart.

Taking care of a special child is not only physically taxing, but can be emotionally draining, if one is not close to God. There is of course the financial aspect – not just the medical costs but special milk, vitamins, choice food, pampers, hotel charges in Sibu, fuel cost etc to bear. When I reflect on the hardships my sister, brother-in-law and mother have to go through at their beyond-golden age, I thank God for the graces He gave and continues to give us, for sustaining the people I love. I firmly believe that God gave Ann-Marie to my sister’s family because He knows that that’s the best place for her. He formed their faith so they put their trust in Him, the love that He poured out into their hearts through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5) was made perfect in them (1 John 12) so they could love others, Ann-Marie, as they love themselves. It’s this love that gives them not only strength and endurance but peace and joy. They have peace and joy, knowing that they are answering the call made to all disciples - to follow the Lord, to carry our crosses gracefully (Luke 9:23) and trusting in God's promise, that He does not put a burden beyond what we can bear and for the things He wants us to do, He gives all the help that is needed. Cor 10:13). We carry our cross whenever we do God’s will instead of our own will. There’s this song I used to sing when I was young,“He ain't heavy, he’s my brother”. Whoever wrote the lyrics obviously knew Scriptures. No burden is Ann-Marie to bear, we’ll get there, for the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

This is Ann-Marie, undergoing sand therapy. Told you she's pretty.

Ah, agi belala begawai

2010-06-08T18:23:00.018+08:00

Kami menyanak pulai ka rumah panjai kami di Dijih begawai, seminggu kami din. Taun tu kami nerima mayuh amat pengabang, pia mega kami ngabang asuh urang. Dua ari berunggu (1-2 hb) kami semina ulih ngali ka diri kira-kira pukul 11 malam.

Gambar tu patut di pos dulu sebedau gawai, itah kena meri selamat ari gawai ngagai semua...enda laun deh, bedau ngiling bidai, ujung minggu tu kami ngiling bidai.

Tua dadi gaga amat laban Maie enggau Sudan sama-sama bisi enggau begawai, semina Igat ke enda ulih laban benung exam. Nyamai amat aku sekali tu, laban bisi anak dara mela, ulih la aku nyenguk urang kin kitu enda lama, berandau, enggau urang nyimpan pulut...Pagi 31 tumu Maie dani enggau aku berengkah mela, manduk chapi, dah nya Sudan dani manduk manuk masak merah. TR nulung aku ngelulun enggau manggang. Sulu aku bara kin kitu, meresa tali api urang, meresa pam ai meh iya.. Puji Tuhan rumah kami udah bisi karan ari SESCO disambung kena 25 hb Lima. Projek ai ngena gravity feed mega udah nyadi berengkah ari 28hb Lima, projek tu diberi pangan tua dadi, Dr Richard Mani ari upis Mineral & Geosains (enti salah nama upis minta ampun au).

Indai enggau anak dara, ba ruai diri empu, maya kami serumah makai lemai 31hb Lima.
Tiga iku menyadi: Apai Nyah, Apai Maie, Apai Nyala. Sapa sigat agi?

Makai begulai malam 31.

Sida Apak Win sebilik, ba ruai sida. Tu "Ngalai" kami serumah, laban pandai belagu.

Nyu ke pemuas aku meda bala memain, bepoco-poco, aku lalu matak tiga iku indai taui kami serumah ngasuh bepantun. Bala anak sida lalu ketawa, ngumbai aku nemu milih, laban sida tiga sigi nemu bepantun. Tu ini Uchak ku bala anak, bini niang mandal TR kami.

Tu bala beramban
Tu sida ka bepoco-poco. Bala ke meda ngundi ni bagi ke pemadu pandai, nya bulih perais.

Tu limbo rock bansa ke tekalih, tubuh bukai enda tau kena semin, semina jari enggau tunjuk kaki aja.

Uchu Tony Bantin, anak apai Kubu ke biak. Ka amat nemuai asuh bilik kami laban rindu begulai enggau Sudan.

Kami besembiang bebala mayuh malam 2hb.
Belagu muji Tuhan sereta meri terima kasih ngagai Allah Taala.

Tu ba ruai kami, maya kami nyambut pengabang - sida TR Agup serumah. Di ranyai kami sida, di asuh belagu, bepoco-poco, di ulu ka anembiak kami serumah.
Jam nyu udah nyau amat, nganti pengabang ka pulai kendua menyanak duduk di ruai.

Uchu Boniface Unau nguluka bala TR Agup mansang ngerebahka ranyai.
Tu ba bilik urang di Ulu Dijih, bilik anak menyadi apai Maie.Kami ngabang kia tengah ari 1hb.

Tu bepangku bala uchu, sama ka enggau ngabang ka Ulu Dijih.

Chara baru ngaga lemang, panduk ba tin chat dulu, udah ai dalam ruas langkang nya baru naing ruas ba api. Aku enda manduk pulut, dinga bini Tuai Rumah lalu madahka iya nyangkung aku, dah mansau di anjung iya, siap udah dikerat manah-manah. Terima kasih, urang memberi, kita merasa, enda pia. Tu utai ti dikerinduka aku, adat basa, penyiru enggau diri sama diri ke agi dititihka di rumah panjai. Laban aku ke nemu sida selalu nyangkung aku upak, ngambi ruas, ngambi kayu, manggang, nya alai aku sigi ngungkupka sida kek maya Gawai. Taun tu endu Indai Lalai meri aku upak pantu.

Ku pangan aku siku, enti nadai jani sigi enda begawai. Ka best amat betangkap-betangkap kitai makai ma iya agi angat...tu di marinate aku ngena Lee Kum Kee char siu sauce, laban bala anak ka makai stail tu. Taun tu kami menyanak enda meli jani, laban diberi anak menyadi dadi sepiak tubuh pemerat 30 kg ungkup kami, kena sida sebilik meri terima kasih ngagai tua dadi ke ngadu ka bala anak iya ke sekula ku iya. Terima kasih Endu.
Ari 2 hb kami ngabang ngagai bala apai Maie di Kua, ba rumah anak petunggal iya, Henry Nabau. Tu indai Boy (bini Henry) enggau bini TR Jantang berandau enggau aku. Urang dia gagau nyendiaka pengawa melah pinang malam nya, nya kami lalu dibai urang merarau begulai enggau sida ke benung gawa.
Dadi, sepiak iya Henry Nabau enggau tisi nyin Tr Jantang.

Malam 30hb, bala indu mungkus perais kena berami 31 hb. Digaga ka Maie & Sudan kupi, kami sebuat pin bekelukau berandau datai tengah malam.

3 hb kami dibai anak menyadi apai Maie (Apai Kubu) nemuai ngagai rh panjai entua iya di Baoh, kira-kira sejam ngena kerita ari rumah kami. Jalai bebatu, bisi jalai pasir nyu semak kin baru bisi di blakin, ia ga balat bingkok.. akai dai, tak mabuk puang aku pulai mansang enda nakal begusak dalam kerita.... Mayuh amat jani dibunuh sida serumah, 40 iku, rumah mina 23 pintu aja. Sida mayuh ngambi urang ngabang, urang ke berantu semina 4 pintu aja. Aku ka kin ngambi Maie enggau Sudan meda chara urang din ngintu pengabang, meda adat basa, bekelala enggau bala kaban, meda menua urang sereta meda bakani ku urang berantu.

Sempat meda pendai urang Baoh.
Ba bilik indai Kubu. Tu sida petunggal, me ibu-ibu enggau ini Baoh - Indai Giri, ini Baoh, Julia, Maie, Kumo (Marilyn) & Sudan.

Wisuda (Convocation) Universitas Gadjah Mada, Yogyakarta, 19 Mei 2010

2010-05-23T12:22:00.010+08:00

Kami sebilik enggau indai aku terebai ka Jogjakarta kena 17hb Mei ngulu pengerami convocation Sudan. Sudan bulih Sarjana Kedokteran with distinction tauka Cum Laude. Udah tu iya deka belatih clinical ba Spital Sardjito enggau ba spital/klinik bukai pengelama setaun setengah, dah nya baru ngangkat sumpah nyadi lutor. Penembu nya ila baru iya bulih gelar "Medical Doctor". Dah nya iya pulai ka Malaysia, masuk internship ba spital ditu pengelama 2 taun. Tu sekeda gambar kami.

Erica Sarah Sudan Gima, on her graduation at Grha Sabha Pramana, 19 May, 2010.

The happy daughter and thankful mother, thank you Lord! Kalimpah ari bungai ke dibeli kami sebilik, bala pangan Sudan pin bisi meri iya bungai, nya alai bouquet kedua dipegai aku.

Apai enggau anak.

Ba Dewan Grha Sabha Pramana.

Tengah ari nya kami makai ba restaurant Tiga Nyonya. Tu seduai menyadi.

Malam nya kami sebilik makai selamat ba Serayu Chinese restaurant. Tu Maie enggau Sudan begulai enggau indai aku.

Ba Fakultas Kedokteran, UGM

Fakultas Kedokteran, UGM
Fakultas Kedokteran, UGM

Merindang Malam

2010-05-06T22:08:00.016+08:00

Dress up, sit, relax, listen, go for chow times, hi, how do you do...

Aku tu bedau ka tindok, benung diau ba meligai di tebing tasik ba negeri di bawah bayu. Datai lemai tu tadi, di asuh urang ninga ka urang bejaku pasal oil and gas: tu pengawa aku enggau bala bukai ke ngulu conference tu pagila di Magellan Sutera- begari gap, bemakeup (enda chun makeup nda gawa nya Mau) duduk jenuh, ma ka mansutka penemu tauka bisi utai ditanya bejaku, ma enggai tak mending aja, ma urang ke bejaku enda landik narit pemerati kitai ke ninga alu bepangan enggau blackberry ga kitai (sori kih, nemu aku bendar kita nyendiaka paper) anang aja bisi urang ngambi video nangkap ulah kitai. Ujung taun tu kemari aku bisi ngulu Energy Week conference ba BCCK di Kuching, bisi nangkap gamal kitai, di ayanka video feed ngagai urang mayuh maya urang ke bejaku. Sigi bisi dipansa meh, peda ta dunga-dunga gamal kitai pansut ba skrin di mua din, ngachau amat, nyu mereti amat ngaga pendiau, enda alah ta dipeda urang rangap-rangap tinduk, tauka tuchum kambin kediri beblackberry. Maya ngetu ngirup betemu enggau pemesai siku, menteri iya suba, lalu nabi, au bisi nuan sanu ku iya, nya aku meda gambar nuan ba skrin tadi, ku iya. Alamak, nasit aku enda dadak tadi ku ati aku, enti enda nyu ngemalu apai indai, diri sekaban, diri sebilik, bala bos enti aku tak hangap-hangap. Enti kitai empu malu enda ngawa, keba anang enda mereti, urang nganjung kitai kursus ngambi nambahka penemu, kitai nyu enda mending utai ku urang. Tapi bang, kadang-kadang banyak bosan la..he he uji enti kitai di asuh urang bejaku kati asai kitai ma urang ngumbai kitai memboringkan, nda ensiban ati kitai. Ga ia, pagila mereti ke dik Jumau, pending amat ka jaku Musa Aman, jaku urang ke ngajar. Amat munyi ku anak menyadi aku, study high high stupid never finish.

Au, nampung utai ti disebut aku tadi, ma chukup maya ngirup, dah nya makai, dah nya lemai pagila bisi gala dinner, maya ngirup enggau makai kitai be networking. Baka manuk nitir-nitir kitai milih raban endur nabakka diri berandau. Dah nya mindah ga ngagai raban bukai, bakanya baru ga, nitir-nitir. Kaban aku ke sama ari Bintulu ke ngarika kempeni iya empu sama ketawa bekenang ka kebuah kami ke kitu, di asuh kempeni makai angin enggau rileks pia ku kami betundi. Tang nya jaku tundi aja, enda bakanya ia, sigi naka ulih dua ari tu ila mupu penemu enggau nyidi berita laban nya utai ti dipeguna.

Nyidi berita nya ke ka tusah-tusah, laban urang enda entu ka madahka berita ka sensitive ka bisnes sida kelebih agi future plans, kitai ke nanya pin enggai ga entu madahka kebuah kitai ke beguna berita sida, enggai ka urang nemu langgur projek ti ka digaga kitai. Bendar amat ngelalau diri dalam ati ngambi enda nyebut utai ti enda amat kena ngelalaika kebuah ke bendar aku ke ka begunaka berita nya. Ma aku ngasuh bala executives aku ngiga market info, sigi ditangkan aku belama sida ngasuh sida creative ngiga info tang anang ngelanggar business ethics, anang bula. Ingat amat aku ke ajar professor ke ngajar kami ba business school suba pasal business ethics. Tambah Urang Ke Diau ba endur ti ngelui remang seruran ngemataka ulah enggau utai ti disebut kitai, Urang nya ke enda tau enda disenakut, laban Iya ukai semina merus, Iya ulih muai, ulih nunu.

Kadang-kadang urang ke di atas enda puas ati enggau asil utai ti disidi kitai, kati kita enda nemu latest development ko nganu kitai. Enti utai udah dipansutka ba salur berita, sigi jarang enda nemu enti berita nya sigi utai ti disidi/diperatika kitai. Tang enti utai nya bedau dipansut alu sida enggai madah ma ditanya, tauka kitai nadai bulih berita ari salur bukai ke nemu, kati ku kitai ulih nemu deh? Ukai kitai tu sepai baka James Bond. Tak tat ka bakanya meh maya urang ngembalka kitai. Tang aku suah mikir, sekeda market info ti beguna amat semina tau dipadahka urang ke di atas, urang ke bos-bos besai. Uji bos besai ke merus aku nya mukul talipun ngagai bos besai sepiak nyin, ku ati aku din, baru ka urang muka mulut laban sida sigi bisi kuasa madahka utai sensitive bakanya, tambah sida sama setipak deh, sama besai pangkat, sama masa pangan diri. Uji sinu sida ka aku, ma nulung aku ga nanya info, sida ga dikelala urang agi, dikemaluka urang. Tudah diri nama, sigi ari urang ke baruh baka aku meh ke endur aku ngeluit berita. Urang ke baruh baka aku sama pandak kuasa, enti nemu jerita, enda tau madah tauka enti madah enda enggau penuh utai dipadah, kadang dikemulaka urang. Ma urang nganggap kempeni kami ka nyemekih sida, sigi enggai sida madah, datai ka enggai nerima kitai nemuai.

Puji Tuhan bisi internet, mayuh amat utai ulih dia. Kadang-kadang ta besari-sari bala aku mansik info. Ngiga credible, latest market information sigi siti pengawa ti enchabar.

Bulan sigi tu kemari aku nemuai ngagai siti kempeni di luar menua Sarawak, mula enggai branch manager nerima penatai aku, tang udah nya nyu ka ga iya. Oo ku ia, enda untung kami nyendiaka servis tu ditu, semadi kami empu bisi beguna servis tu, nuan pin nemu sigi mar rega charter hire diatu ku iya. Sejam tu penyampau caj kami ku iya. Urang enda semaya mayar, kadang-kadang nyu bebulan baru mayar, ku iya. Enti kita sama ka meri servis nya nyadi competitor kami kita ku ia. Randau punya randau, dah nya ia madah sida ka upgrade, ngiga ke bisi dynamic positioning.

Ari jaku iya aku nemu iya bula ke aku: enti kempeni sida rugi, kati alai sida agi tubah bebisnes, ukai semina agi berbisnes tang ka nyua utai ti changgih agi, ti mar agi, ti bisi DPS? Iya terus terang madahka kami competitor iya, ka iya madahka caj ti amat ngagai aku laban sigi nemu kami competitor sida? Reti nya caj ti disebut iya nya utai ti enda amat, kena iya manjuk aku, ngambi enti sema kami nyadi, kami netapka rega baruh agi ari rega sida, ngambi kempeni kami rugi. Pia mega nitihka industry practice, urang ke dikemendar ke kitai mayar dalam timpuh kredit sigi dipinta meri bank guarantee. Enti enda mayar, tarit enggau jamin bank, alu ngetu meri servis dataika sida mayar utang. Iya madah kempeni sida china man company, enda patut china man company enda neritka credit management, ngelak urang enda mayar utang bebulan-bulan. Labu anun iway iway.

Tuhan sinu ka aku, nya alai aku tulihka scale caj servis sida ari urang ke suah ngena sida (sigi bakanya chara, ma ka nemu pasal pengelemi enggau pengering competitor tanya ari urang ke ngena servis sida). Jauh lebih tinggi meh caj ke amat, ukai munyi utai ti ku iya. Taja pia aku beterima kasih ga ngagai iya, angka iya asai besalah ngemulaka aku, iya lalu nganjung aku ngagai endur ti ka dituju aku.Aku paham kebuah ia labu, baka ukoi, nanka tulang.

Aku ke ka KL empai lama diberus urang ke enggau aku betemu, bisi nembiak siku dibai aku. Sida enda lantang ati pasal sekat sida ke megai pekara wang kami, meda bil laun dibayar lalu ditan servis, nyu tepekul sida ke ka ngereja pengawa. Akai dai, tak kebil-kebil mua, tak peli-peli mata aku di embalka urang, nyu minta ampun aku, dah nya aku alu minta kemendar sida mukul ngagai kaban aku ke nyaga pekara wang, nanya kebuah ke bendar. Sida ka laun mayar bil, madahka nadai nerima bil, diberi bil baru bedau ga mayar, pia ku kaban aku. Nama guna bank guarantee kami ngemayuhnya deh, penyampau utai ti bedau dibayar mimit aja, ku sida. Amat ga utai ku sida iya, tang amat ga ku pangan aku, enti suba amat enda nerima bil tu ga udah bisi bil baru, bayar ga, anang bekelikuh. Tang endang ke baka iya, laban kempeni urang besai, kempeni tebilang, bisi upis betingkat-tingkat ti manah, ari communications diatu nyu nyadi conglomerate ti bedagang ke power production ngagai oil and gas. Kami baka ikan enseluai dibanding enggau sida ke empurau, nya alai urang enda kakang meri kitai jaku. Ah deh, ngachau amat ku aku, aku ka amat ngulihka ensenis ari sida nya, laban sida mayuh ngudar barang, mayuh nganjung barang kena urang gawa ba pelantar minyak, sida ngena jelatung kami. Nyebut meh aku, madahka nama utai dikemisi kami ti tau di kena sida. Enti kita ngena ulih kami berunding ngaga package ke kita, pia ku aku ngumpan. Meda baka meh, baka kami sida pin ngira kos ga sebedau ngaga pemutus runding.

Taja bisi tetemuka penanggul, aku enda leju bejalaika pengawa. Kedua manah, ka nulung, nya ti ngasuh kitai gagit bejalaika pengawa.

Tu aja jerita aku, ka ngalika diri. Selamat malam.

Semenua, Sekaban

2010-04-26T19:58:00.009+08:00

Malam ari enam tu tadi bala anak petunggal Dadi ngatur pengerami makai lemai ke sida sekaban ke gawa di Bintulu. Kalimpah ari bala sida ari Dijih, bala ari Kua di ulu ka Henry Nabau enggau ari Bauh di uluka Peter Lamat sama bisi enggau. Nyadi kami ke nampil sida lalu mai bala ari sepiak diri empu. Tr Eding ke tuai ngatur pengawa ngelaluka bala, dah nya Dadi bejaku, dah nya baru aku nguluka kami sembiang.

Tiga serak betanda, aku ke tuai ke kami. Pangan aku indai Tim bisi enggau laban iya bala ari bini Jawan. Indai Tim mai lagu "Beperang dalam petang". Kami lekik-lekik ninga iya nusi jerita siku pemesai ke udah mati empai lama mai lagu nya, tang iya enda terus nyebut leka lagu, nyu bakatu munyi, "ukai nya sunang-sunang, ngelebut utai ulang", pia ku.. Enti Nuai mai lagu tu enda masuk iya belagu laban bara ketawa ditundi sida ku indai Tim.

Indai Tim, indai Jerry, indai Aaron. PS: Asai ka nyadi akak Muk (Sebugey) aku ngeripot pengerami bakatu :)

Group urang ke duduk ba bar.
Malam nya mega kami ngerami ari pengada indai Aaron.
Apai Boy enggau bala ari Kua. Belagu "Ngayap" apai Boy malam nya.

Apai enggau anak.
Maie, indai Muntai enggau Lorna.

Sekaban
Rindu meda bala baris ngambi pemakai...

Apai Kumo enggau bala iya.

Indai Nicol enggau Mr Bird beduet.
Pama aki enggau ini, ngasak endar. Aki enda belagu, laban nadai lagu wajip. Ini ngemera ke diri, belagu Killing Me Softly With His Song.
Tu TR Eding nguluka sida lelaki betanda.
Bala uchu, bala kaban.
Indai Bakar, tembu kin kitu ngelapung uchu iya.

Besawit

2010-04-17T10:06:00.038+08:00

Igat ke ngepun. Numbuhka aku sawit nuan D, udah aku tembu belajar ila aku nyaga sawit tua, pia ku Igat. Au tau nya, pia ku Jumau. Anang, anang, pia ku Maie enggau Sudan. Seduai udah tuai, nganti ka pinchin aja, mata dadi nyu rabun ni ke dibai driba, pia dadi selalu driba laju-laju, Selangau nya jauh, ni seduai ulih ngundang belama, ukai bisi karan enggau ai din, enda tan seduai diau din, jauh klinik, macham-macham meh ku dua iku nya. Dadi berat amat, menati ke diri ke mansang tuai, enda tentu bepengerai. Nya alai iya enda besawit ari suba, kengka tanah tua iya ke setempap dua ba tisi jalai di asuh iya kereja menyadi ia apai Nyala, endur besawit. Iya sigi meransang bala menyadi iya, dipinta ka iya skim sawit ari upis Betanam Betupi sida nya ba taun 1998, nya alai bala ipar aku urang ke terubah besawit ba Jalai Dijih. Ari skim, bala ipar aku lalu nambah ke diri nanam sawit, mupuk-mupuk datai ke diatu.

Udah Igat nyebut, tua iya lalu ngumbuk dadi. Manage aja tua D, ngambi urang gawa, sebulan mendua kali tua ngabas kin, ila aku nyukung nuan deh, anang irau nuan, pia ku aku. Ninga anak enggau bini ngansak au ga ku tudah dadi. Seduai ke indu lalu shadap (shut up) munyi ku indai aku. Bakanya ku jerita kami menyanak berengkah besawit.

Nya tu gamal urang ke ka besawit.

Ila kitai meda enti iya ngamatka jaku iya. Ku ia iya ka ngiga puku kena iya muka klinik gigi ila, nya alai iya ka besawit. Mar meli perengka klinik mami, pia ku Igat, peda nuan penyanggih kereban ba klinik Dr Aziz, ku iya. Aku besampi arapka iya be amat-amat ila, nampung utai ti udah dipun ke tua dadi. Ukai semina ketegal juluk ati iya, tang kena iya ngidupka diri. Tu nah peda, rauh-rauh dua tiga minggu tu sekumbang iya ke exam, mami, mami, kemaya nuan bisi travelling ka KL nupi nyawa aku tu, deprived aku tu mami, mami, lama amat enda makai utai nyamai, pia ku iya. Iga nya Igat, ku aku, lapa kita sekaban enda nganjung diri ngagai Bukit Bintang makai kia, ku aku. Eh, bala pangan aku enggai dibai makai ngudar pemakai bakanya, sida ka makai utai simple aja. Aku enggai ga kediri dunga-dunga, pia ku Igat. Nya alai laban tua dadi ke sama bisi pengawa dipejalaika ba KL minggu tu, Igat lalu sebiru enggau kami duai. Empat malam din empat malam nganjung iya makai utai ti diketenguk ke iya. Kasih tua dadi meda tudah ke bendar amat belajar, baru tembu trial exam, dah tu bendar baru ga laban AS exam sida berengkah tengan bulan lima tu.

Udah makai dibai iya meda tukis Clash of the Titans, betangkup ke cheremin mata 3D. Di bai iya lepak sebelah Coffee Bean, de malam lepak ba La Bodega, endur urang nyual pemakai Sepanyol. Malam ari enam seduai meda derby (Man U vs Man C) ba Michelangelo, siti endur makai nyual pemakai Itali ba Pavilion. Tudah diri nganti seduai, nama ga pengawa, nyu ngirup kupi, makai torta cicciolata, nyudu gelato di spumoni dadi, ma aku ninga seduai memunyi, dirara aku ga, laban sepiak-sepiak kami urang ribai. Tang iya meh gul, betempap jari seduai, sebuti enda engkajat, dinga ba luar din nginggar nya ga bala ke duduk ba endur bukai betempik jari, nyerauh gaga. Aku ngambi peluang olang tengok olang. Enda rindu aku meda diatu, mayuh amat indu ke biak-biak di KL nginsap. Rusak amat. Kenu ku ba surat kabar, sida ka nginsap ngambika kurus, enda gemu.....tang ba penemu aku, pandak amat ga runding bakanya, ngereja utai ti ngenataika penyakit tubuh ketegal ka ngasuh tubuh ba luar manah dipeda...baka ke nadai chara bukai kena nguruska tubuh. Nya aku belaba ke batang ia, angka sida ngasaika diri cool bakanya kini.....you are so pretty sweetheart, why do you spoil yourself so, ku ati aku din ma aku malik kiba kanan meda sida nginsap.

Dadi ukai bansa ke rindu ngirup kupi enggau makai kek, ta keruan nganjung indai enggau anak iya...
Gaga amat dibai diau ba hotel. Arapka nya nyadi peransang iya bebendar belajar, ngambi ulih nyuluk pengawa ti dikedeka ke iya.

Aku belemati, sekalika Igat bisi pengeransing enggau pengeliat ati ngamatka jaku iya ila.

Ari langkan, Igat sigi angkun ke pengawa rumah panjai. Iya enda keji ke tanah, ari mit suba lebuh kami mula berumah panjai (taun 2000) sigi entuting tua apai iya belama iya, maya nya iya baru berumur 9 taun. Kami gagau berumah, iya melangkan mandi sebelah ai sungai Meruan, ngelunsur ba tebiang semak rumah, betarit ngena randau melebu. Ma chukup jam sida alu main bul ba padang sekula SK Dijih. Dah nya chebul-chebul baru mandi ba pendai. Ma lemai sigi ulih aku merus enggau penamat inat ma meri iya mandi, enda nemu agi daki, pia latak, pia isi nyu baka muam belaban panas. Tang enda beduli, gut-gut aku nganu, iya belagu maya aku ke merus daki. Sekali ringat amat iya enggai dibai dadi pulai ka Bintulu, laban agi ka diau ba rumah panjai, nyu belaya seduai, enda liat dadi ta diketu ka kerita, di asuh dadi pansut, nya bejalai kediri nuan pulai ke rumah ku apai iya. Peda ta enda chamang-chamang, alu angkat ari kerita, alu bejalai nikal ke rumah panjai. Lalu ngapu Apak Win enggau Mak Win ke sama enggau seduai (aku enda enggau). Nyu ulih sida nunduk mai iya pulai...maya nya iya berumur 9 taun.

Igat nadai kala didinga sebana ke nadai karan enggau ai, enda baka kami ke bukai. Iya enda milih makai, nama utai dibantai ke urang di menua sigi di empa iya. Berengkah ari iya nyu udah besai (Pom 4), iya sigi enggau urang bebela maya gawai, maya pengerami rumah panjai. Tumu iya dani enggau urang ngintu babi, nunu manuk, nunu ikan. Iya nemu makai perut manuk tunu, sa upak, sayur-sayur Iban, sigi utai dikerinduka iya magang. Enti di rumah panjai ni macham pengawa dibai bala aya enggau petunggal iya kereja sigi di au ka iya magang. Enda agi dadi enggau urang kin kitu. Akih ku bala petunggal iya nganggauka iya, akih ga ku iya nimbal urang. Sebiru sampai dini pagi iya enggau bala ke serebak. Iya gaga amat dibai apai iya ngabas tembawai sida di Luau, minta bai dadi kin baru, ka nyelambau, ka enggau urang nebang mulung meh iya.

Tu ba tembawai di Luau, pulai mandi.

Ba Luau.

Ngelamatu ma iya bisi chuti, sigi nadai beleman iya dibai pulai ke rumah. Iya pin sama enggau urang gawa, ta ni pengawa ke dibai dadi kereja ia. Ngipak ka tubuh iya ke tegap, iya sigi kering ngangkatka guni baja, enda mesa kambut 50 kg dima iya.

Iya rindu ke menua, rindu ke pengidup di rumah panjai, iya nemu bekaling, besaum enggau urang di menua, iya kering gawa. Utai ti enda tau nadai nya pemakai ti dikerindu ke iya, ba senentang pemakai sigi sebaka seduai menyanak. Nya alai enti pulai ke rumah panjai sigi bepeluh-peluh tudah diri mela laki, mela anak, mela urang ke enggau gawa. Arapka Igat ransing ati meh ila, enda mudah leju, enda mudah ngetu nyepi bisi penanggul.

Tu gamal urang ke beterengking enda ngasuh.

Seduai dua tu bedau pass diau ba rumah panjai. Enda nemu nama utai dikerandau enggau urang meh ku seduai, malu nunga urang meh seduai. Di badu enda, di mayuh amu sama amu enggau nuan berandau, ukai kami sebaka enggau di, pia ku nganu aku. Dulu agi Maie nujah kebun sawit sida Cris ari iya ke ngabas sawit kami. Sekali enggau Cris nganjung barang ke bala ke gawa, sekali dibai Cris enggau apai Cris (Alex) ngabas sawit di Batu 9. See what love does to my eldest daughter. Amat meh utai ti ku iya nganu aku, I love you mami, but I love him (Cris) more, pia ku iya wai, maya iya ka bekejang chuti ka London Christmas taun tu suba.

Tu gamal urang ke enda tentu ka.

Nya, peda kita gamal nya, bisi enggai nya diatu? Nyu tua Igat ke enda tetitihka iya. Enggai lubah ma ka ngereja utai. Ma pulai ke rumah, sigi udah dani iya pukul 4 pagi, biar iya meda CNN dulu nganti aku ke angkat endur nurun. Time management iya superb, iya ga urang menua enda lembau ngerah bala. Iya nyima-nyima ngerah aku, enggai ka karan sut, munyi ku bala anak menyadi iya. Nama utai ke enda ulih dikereja kitai indu di rumah, se agi ke mela pemakai, ngibun bilik, betemuai, agi lempung dikereja kitai. Ma iya ngasuh ipar aku mai urang gawa, di asuh iya milih ke kering gawa, ke enda ngular. Tang ba rumah panjai ni nya sepeneka kitai milih. Bisi ke bagas-bagas, bisi ke kurang, ke ulih urang narit belama. Kasih ga D, pia ku aku, enda tegal gawa kenyadi ke bakanya ga, kena tudah meli tusu anak, pama meh sida bisi dikenyadi ka tua. Kadang-kadang enda ngutuk ga dadi geram, laban sida nyu enda nitihka peneka kitai maya ke gawa. Kitai ka berumban, sida nge au, madahka diri ka ngereja, tang nyu minggu baru ila gawa, ukai diatu...dini kitai ulih nganti sida, ku dadi mutap.

Tu Jumau ke nge au.

Tang ke udah aku enda au belau. Se agi aku gerai, aku sigi nyukung dadi enggau Igat. I'll remain the woman behind the man. Ke bendar ia aku sigi lama udah ka besawit, tang dadi enda nge au ke aku. Many thanks, son.

Kami duai melaki bini enda nyangka pengawa tua iya ke besawit nyadi peransang bala di menua. Meda kami duai besawit, kami serumah ke bedau besawit sama besawit magang, semina empat pintu ke enda besawit ketegal nadai tubuh, nyu udah tuai, kedua baru ngidupka diri. Nya meh ma dadi meli baja urea ari urang ke gawa di ABF, tauka meli deram plastik, dadi lalu nyangkung sida, gaga sida ngari baja enggau deram ari dadi. Kami duai gaga ga bisi urang enggau gawa.

Pia mega, bala di ulu Dijih sama besawit diatu. Bisi siku petunggal apai Maie enda kebut-kebut enggau urang, enda tentu ka ke batang. Tak dibeli ke anak iya igi sawit ari MPOB, diasuh anak iya terenak, asuh iya jaga apai iya, asuh iya nebas tanah endur besawit apai iya tadi. Nama nuan ke nadai pengawa, sigi urang bumai, tau tak enggai besawit, peda di apai Maie enggau indai Maie, bekereja urang di nengeri, besawit meh urang, pia ku anak petunggal iya ngelicha apai iya. Nya, nyu besawit meh tudah petunggal iya diatu...petunggal iya nusi jaku anak iya maya kami ke nyenggai antu empai lama.

Aku beratika enti kitai Iban besawit, ulih amat kitai angkat ba penatai pemisi. Kitai bisi tanah, kitai semina beguna ke puku kena ngaga jalai enggau meli paung sawit. Ke diatu rega paung sawit RM10 sepun. Ke mar nya nyendiaka tanah, enti bebukit mayuh amat kos laban perlu ditiris, tang enti tanah landai, semina ngaga jalai aja. Ke tebal amat kitai di rumah panjai sebana nadai puku, tang kedua ke mayuh tanah enda nemu ngena tanah ke puku, uji jual sekeda tanah ngambika rega nyadi ka puku besawit, ngambi ulih nyamin penatai pemisi dalam timpoh 20 taun ka datai. Rega sawit tau kena kitai meli tanah di bukai kena nganti tanah ke dijual, kena meli rumah di nengeri, enda pia. Tu dikumbai musin ka duit. Tu nusi utai ulih bala ke udah besawit - ari 600 pun sawit (10 ikar) tau ngasilka enda kurang ari 5 tan dalam tiga minggu. Enti rega buah sawit RM500 setan, kitai bulih RM2500 sebulan. Tang urang ke kur ngibun sawit tulihka sampai 10 tan sebulan ari 600 pun. Udah tulak kos kitai kira-kira 30-40%, bisi amat belanja kena nyungkak ke ekonomi diri sebilik. Maya rega buah sawit RM700-800 setan taun 2008 suba, sigi durian runtuh amat bala ke besawit. Mayuh bala di Niah enggau Suai ke meli rumah kedai, ari asil nanam sawit.

Kami duai apai Maie bisi nemuai ngagai ladang endur siku Haji K (urang kaya di Bintulu, ngembuan mayuh kedai) nyemai sawit. Dia haji tu lalu bekunsi jerita enggau kami duai. Ku iya, mayuh pengawa udah dikereja aku sanu, tang nadai ngelaban besawit tu pengawa ke pengabis untung udah dikereja aku ku iya.

Nya, enda ingin kitai ninga utai ku iya nya? Sebedau iya nanam sawit Haji K sigi udah nyadi jutawan. Belematika ayat tu. Sebedau iya nanam sawit Haji K sigi udah nyadi jutawan. AND iya madah nanam sawit pengabis untung ari semua utai bukai ti udah dikereja iya. Get it?

Tu pemanah besawit dibanding ka enggau kitai ngiga pengidup nengah chara bukai.

(1) Enda perlu agi enggau urang masuk tender ngiga kontrek ke munggang mit, enda perlu regap-regap ngelaku ka servis tauka product kempeni, enda perlu keciwa munyi ku sa anak ma tender enda bulih, ma servis tauka product enda laku. Enda perlu arapka niki gaji ninting taun ke beratus dua. Ari kitai ke begaji kontrek di nengeri bulih RM1000-RM2000 sebulan, manah agi kitai besawit, mayuh agi penatai, sigi bisi setiap bulan.

(2) Kitai enda perlu marketing, perintah ngemasarka sawit. Amat bisi sekeda nengeri milih diatu, enggai meli sawit ari menua ke enda masa pemanah enggau pemeresi rampa menua, ke ngasuh bala jelu babas pupus ketegal ke nadai agi kampung, ke nambahka carbon emission ari peat soil ke angus, pia ku sida bejai sawit. Tang anang irau kitai ke pekebun mit, kitai di belakang urang ke gerasi nading - sa IOI, sa Sime Darby, sa KL Kepong, sa Felda, kelebih agi perintah empu, meruan menteri nyaga dagang sawit kitai. Ma nyu enda tau enda ila, mupuk ga kitai nitihka urang ngereja sawit nitihka chara ti sustainable. Ila aku ngenang RSPO (Round Table on Sustainable Palm Oil).

(3) Kitai nyadi bos - nyadi urang dagang. Kati enda deh, tanah sendiri punya, tanam, jaga sendiri bikin, jual sendiri dapat harga 100%, sendiri bayar gaji pekerja. Bos meh ma kitai bakanya enda pia. Urang ba rumah panjai nanya kami, nama kebuah ka besawit laban bisi kereja. Ee, bedagang nya ku aku. Tu kunchi kena muka ati urang di rumah panjai, laban sida nganggap nanam sawit pengawa ti baruh, enda aruh dikereja kitai ke pandai nyurat, kelebih agi ke bisi degree. Sida di rumah panjai begunaka paradigm shift.

(3) Endur nyual sigi bisi, rega sigi tetap nitihka gred, kitai enda ulih dikelakar urang ke meli

(4) Kitai bisi penatai ti tetap tiap bulan. Sekali dalam 3 minggu numbuk sawit.

(5) Kitai enda perlu bumai laban rega sawit sebulan chukup kena meli beras empa setaun (say 20 kg beras - RM90 sebulan, tauka RM1080 setaun), nya alai kitai ke ba rumah panjai bisi amat awak ditumpuka ngibun sawit. bala ipar aku udah enda bumai dalam kandang 3 taun tu, enda di asuh dadi, enggai ke sida enda meruan ngintu sawit.

(6) Sawit tu enda tentu bepenyakit baka lada.

(7) Tanah kitai nyu enda tebiar agi, nyu nyadi productive, mansutka asil ti tinggi. Pelaba aku gaga sida niang aki ini kitai ke udah nadai meda kitai ke ngereja tanah ke diperimba sida kelia. Indeed, ari ke besawit, kitai sigi masa, sigi enda ngelebu ke pemagas, penganas aki ini ke betemuda berimba kelia.

(8) Kitai nemu antara tanah enggau sepiak-sepiak, nya alai ngurangka penyarut, nguntungka bala anak uchu kitai dudi ari ila.

(9) Kitai ulih nyungkak ke pemansang menua pesisir, ngeninggika tikas pengidup diri sebilik. Ari nya kitai ulih melanja anak sekula, ulih meli bup kena sida belajar, ulih meli pemakai ti chukup ngambi sida besai enggau manah, ngambi untak sida ulih bepikir enggau tajam. Kitai ulih meli TV, nyambung ASTRO, meli komputer, ngambi anak kitai tebuka mata meda pemansang di nengeri, di menua bukai, ulih belajar jaku omputih, ulih telenga runding, enda ngembuan provincial upbringing ti ngasuh sida enda ulih besemekih enggau urang bukai ma sekula tauka gawa di nengeri. Au, ba kami ke nadai karan, ulih meli injin api enggau minyak disel...

Semina rega iya meh kadang-kadang niki, kadang-kadang turun. Tang ku bala betusi, seagi rega buah sawit enda turun ari RM350 setan agi bisi untung. Ba kitai ke nadai tubuh, ke enda diau mendam ba rumah panjai, siti penusah sigi ngiga urang gawa. Tusah amat. Iya ga atur baru diatu enchabar amat, atur tu netapka kitai pekebun kecil muti ulih minta permit ngambi pekerja ari luar nengeri baka bala ari Indonesia enti tanah kitai bisi pala. Dini meh tanah asal kitai ke bisi pala. Arapka atur pasal permit tu di ubah, ngambi enda nekul kitai ke ka nikika tikas pengidup diri, kelebih agi bala di menua pesisir. Taja pia arapka bala enda enggai nguji nanam sawit, ta pupuk bakanya meh, naka ni ulih dikereja. Kitai Iban peturun urang bagas, enda patut kitai ngeri ngereja sawit, nda pia? Iya ke berat dikereja nya numbuk buah, tang kitai tau beduruk enti nadai indon digaji. Utai bukai baka ke manchit rumput, maja enggau nyarau dan ulih amat dikereja kitai, nadai mesa.

Hm, baka ke kering amat Jumau tu nyebut utai munyi nya, baka ke besai kebun sawit, ia ta ka setempap aja - tang sigi munyi, laban ati ka deh, gaga ke bala nyu udah bisi jalai ngangkatka pengidup diri di menua. Pia mega urang ke ngembuan kebun sawit ke besai enda blogging bekunsi jerita, enda meransang bala diri enggau jerita pemaju sida, nya alai aku ngambi kediri, ngunsi kengka utai ti ditemu tudah aku.

To my precious daughter across the Java sea

2010-04-15T19:41:00.006+08:00

I read my youngest daughter's blog entry and after comforting her over the phone, I just have to share something that has never failed to uplift me even in my lowest moments. I found it in the writings of one of my favourite authors, the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen of the USA. He was a priest, a teacher, an eloquent spokesman for Catholicism. Gifted with words and showered with graces, he delivered sermons that both inspire us to do good and evoke contrition of the hearts. He had the gift of giving spiritual reflections from varied perspectives that quickens the heart and refreshes the soul.

This reflection is one of my favourites.

He said "it is not our will that matters, it is the Lord's. This is the difference between prayer and worship. Prayer is the expression of my will; worship is the acceptance of God's will. The two are quite distinct. Just run through the Old Testament and see how very often, one of the great biblical characters, like Abraham, prays to God, expresses his own will, and then God says to him, "Offer your son, Isaac". And he prostrates himself. That is his worship"

Archbishop Sheen also gave the beautiful example of David's response to his son's death.

As we read in 2 Samuel, after the prophet Nathan told David that he (David) had killed Uriah, "The Lord struck the boy whom Uriah's wife had borne to David. And he was very ill. David prayed to God for the child, he fasted and went in and spent the night fasting, lying on the ground. The older men of the household tried to get him to rise from the ground, but he refused and would eat no food with them. On the seventh day the boy died, and David's servants were afraid to tell him 'While the boy was alive', they said, 'we spoke to him and he did not listen to us; how can we now tell him that the boy is dead? He may do something desperate'. David saw his servants whispering among themselves and guessed that the boy was dead. He asked, 'Is the boy dead?' And they answered, 'He is dead'. Then David rose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and put on fresh clothes; he entered the house of the Lord and prostrated himself there. Then he went home, asked for food to be brought, and when it was ready, he ate. The servants asked him,'What is this? While the boy lived you fasted and wept for him, but now that he is dead you rise up and eat? He answered, 'While the boy was still alive I fasted and wept, thinking, 'It may be that the Lord would be gracious to me, and the boy may live'. But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back? I shall go to him, and he will not come back to me'.

David worshipped the Lord. The difference between praying and worshipping is the difference between my will and God's will.

What struck me when I first read this reflection was the realisation that my prayer is the expression of MY WILL. It has made me accepted with grace the things that came my way that were different from what I prayed for. I know God loves me, I am precious in His eyes, He has written my name in the palm of His hands (Isaiah 49:16), He knows what is good to give to me (Mathew 7:7-8) and if I should walk in the valley of darkness, no evil shall I fear, for He is there with His crook and His staff" (Psalm 23).

Worship the Lord, my precious daughter, pray for wisdom to discern HIS WILL and submit to HIS WILL in sweet surrender.

At the Eleventh Hour, Nyau ka Enda Sempat Da

2010-03-25T20:13:00.027+08:00

Aku seruran mai ati ti andal lebuh mansang ngulu seminar ti di atur gerija. Aku andal amat ke Allah Taala negu ati aku, ngambi aku berubah, ngelengka ke penyai sereta ngangkatka pemanah. Pia mega aku arapka Roh Kudus meri aku penemu baru, nyadika lalau pendiau aku enggau kami sebilik. Tiap iku ke ngulu seminar sigi bulih nimet (grace) tauka berekat ari Allah Taala: kadang-kadang nyata amat, ditemu kitai berekat nya, tang kadang-kadang enda di temu kitai semadi kitai nemu belematika ia ba utai ti nyadi ba pengidup kitai. Penemu belematika utai tu meh ti dikumbai wisdom, siti pemeri ari Roh Kudus.

Fr Gino, diberi Allah Taala pemeri ulih nyumanka semengat enggau tubuh kitai. Nengah healing service sari nya, iya madahka mayuh bala ti suman ari penyakit - sakit kanser, pedis belakang, leukemia. Pia mega mayuh bala bulih penyuman semengat - badu ringat, badu tusut pikir, badu mikir diri empu nadai guna, ngelengkaka pengawa ti jai, enggau mayuh macham penyuman. Kedua nyu rong-rong nyabak, ketegal nesal ati, kedua alu muji, meri terima kasih ngagai Tuhan Jesus, ke pengampun enggau pengerindu Iya.

Sapa ke begunaka penyuman? Tiap iku kitai ah, keba Bup Kudus madah semua mensia udah bepenyalah lalu jauh ngejang ari mulia Allah Taala - "All have sinned, all have fallen short of the glory of God" (Roman 3:23). Seminar baka Life in the spirit seminar tauka healing seminar ngadaka awak ti manah amat endur kitai berubah. Kebuah pia, urang ke diambi nyadi ketuai seminar bisi pemeri diberi Allah Taala - pemeri nyumanka urang, pemeri bejaku, pemeri ngajar, baka Fr Gino enggau Fr Rufus Peirera. Roh Kudus deka bekereja nengah sida nyumanka kitai ari penyai.

Aku ukai nyebut utai sengapa, aku nyebut utai ti amat, laban aku empu udah bulih penyuman ari ke ngulu seminar. Don't play-play munyi ku Pua Chu Kang, ma kitai be amat-amat muka ati ngagai Roh Kudus, Roh Kudus sigi deka bekereja ba ati kitai. Roh Kudus deka nukik ati ktai, madahka kitai ni bagi penyalah kitai, alu berindik ari nya kitai nesal ati, sampai nyabak sikuk-sikuk, kitai minta ampun ngagai Allah Taala, kitai besemaya ngelengkaka penyai, kitai naka ia gaga ketegal udah dilepas, badu agi nyadi ulun dosa.

Aku udah belematika reti jaku "ulun dosa" - bakani ku kitai nyadi ulun dosa? Ngambika nyamai diterang, aku nyema ke urang ke gian ngirup ai bisa, ti ngujungka sida mabuk belama - enchelak sari, ari siti palau baru. Ketegal ke mabuk, sida enda tentu gawa, suah belaya enggau bini anak, kedua nyamah, kengka duit ti ulih kena meli ai bisa..Aku nemu amat utai tu laban mayuh amat udah dipeda di Dijih din, kedua bala diri empu ke bakanya. Nya meh bulan siti ngagai bulan siti, taun siti ngagai taun siti, palau belama. Nemu iya pengawa nya enda betul tang iya enda tebuai ka penyai nya. - tu meh reti ulun dosa, enda ulih ngesaika diri ari penyai. Trapped ku jaku omputih, enslaved by sin. Nya alai penyakit ti bakatu beguna ke master healer - the mighty Holy Spirit, the Paraclete, the Advocate, the Teacher. Ma Roh Kudus udah ngesuh asuh kitai sigi tepelepi kitai wai, don't play play; sigi suman kitai wai, ukai bula-bula. Enda ka kitai bulih penyuman ti bakatu?

Aku nemu tiap iku kitai sigi ka bebaik enggau Allah Taala, sigi ka nyadi anembiak ti kudus, ti dikerinduka Allah Taala, laban pengerindu ti udah ditanam Allah Taala ba ati kitai ngasuh kitai rindu baka Iya ke rindu. Pia mega tiap iku kitai deka ke pengidup meruan, bulih penyelamat. Tiap iku kitai mega deka ka Allah Taala nyaga, ngemata ka kitai, merekat kitai, nyumanka penyakit kitai, muai pengirau kitai, menyamai ati kitai. Nya alai anang be empai-empai, anang besentai wai, kala 11th hour bedau lalu, enti udah tu kada sempat agi deh (Mathew 20:1-16) ? Nyu niru slogan Obama, 'Yes we can! Yes to change!" Maya tu meh maya ti manah endur kitai berubah, laban tu musin Lent. Nabi Joel nganggauka kitai ngasuh kitai berubah

Ngesal ati kita enggau pengabis iya, ngulit,
nyabak sereta bepasa lalu pulai ngagai aku.
Asuh ati kita nesal bendar ka penyalah kita,
anang semina nyarik ke gari utai dikena.
Pulai baru ngagai Tuhan ti Allah Taala kita,
Iya nelap sereta kasih ka semua mensia
Ati Iya liat selalu ingat enda kala bula ke semaya
Iya endang seruran ka ngampun,
Iya ukai semina deka ngukum (Joel 2:12-13)

Kalimpah ari ke enggau seminar, kitai mega ulih suman ari kitai ke mutus ati ka berubah, be amat-amat nesal ati, minta Allah Taala ngampunka kitai. Roh Kudus sigi sedia ngelepaska kitai ari penyai. Ku Fr Dom kitai tesabak kediri ketegal kitai nesal amat ke penyalah kitai. Sorrowful for our sins. Ba kami ke Katolik, kami ngaku penyalah ba paderi lalu nerima sakramen bebaik (reconciliation).

Nyu nusi diri empu, taja aku suah enggau seminar, taja aku bulih penyuman, agi jauh amat pejalai aku, mayuh amat pengamah agi malut aku. Baka duku aku, bedau lurus tempa, agi tumpul, enda bekilat, nya alai disepuh belama ba entilang api, awakka ulih nyadi duku ti manah, ti tajam enggau perechi ba mua Allah Taala. Tu meh proses refining, purifying, ti disebut ba Bup Kudus. Aku besampi ngagai Allah Taala, awakka Iya nyawangka ati aku, nerima pengerindu enggau pengasih Iya. Aku besampi minta Iya ngiring aku, ngambika aku enda tegelinchir nyu enda te angkatka diri.

Bala raban cell group Iban ari Bintulu.
Bala kaban ari Bintulu. Dorothy, Eileen & Rosalind.
Gemu amat nuan diatu, pia ku Helena nganu aku, alu ditempik iya punggung aku. Nya sigi baka gaga kami sekaban, semenua.

Sekeda ari 630 iku bala indu ke ngulu seminar. Ke mayuh agi ari Miri, dah nya ari Bintulu, Marudi, Limbang, Brunei, Kota Kinabalu, Sibu, Kuching enggau Kuala Lumpur.

Maie, my firstborn. Tu keterubah ia kendua menyanak ngulu seminar begulai udah iya besai. Benung tua iya ngirup ba airport lebuh aku ke nganti bilun mulaika diri ka Bintulu, Maie meri ka aku surat ti ditulis iya nuju aku. Ku iya, suba iya ngasaika aku semak amat (reti nya aku busy body, kaypoh, selalu ngerara), tang udah enggau seminar tu iya sedar ke penyemak aku nya ukai utai ti nekul, tang utai ti manah laban aku seruran bisi enggau iya berandau, seruran mending, seruran ngiring iya, kelebih agi ba senentang pengarap. Udah iya mida ke diri empu enggau siku pangan iya ti madahka diri tusut runding, enda lantang ati, tang enda nemu nama utai ti nanggul, iya beterima kasih ngagai Tuhan ketegal aku bisi, kati ku nuan wai anak, kaypoh?

Pia mega iya madahka aku iya ngasaika diri kurang enti dibanding enggau Sudan, envious, laban Sudan bagas mela, bagas belajar. Ia lapa nuan bakanya ku aku, semua kitai sebilik patut gaga sereta beterima kasih ngagai Allah Taala laban meri Sudan ke kitai. Nuan pin bisi pengelebih, nuan mentas ati, forgiving, nuan spiritual, ku aku. Uji nuan belematika jerita sempama ti ditusi Jesus pasal urang ti di ambi urang ke ngempu kebun anggur bekereja, ku aku madahka Maie. (Mathew 20:1-16). Enda milih pengelama sida iya gawa (kedua ari pagi, kedua nyu udah niki ari, kedua tengah ari, kedua pukul tiga, kedua pukul lima, sejam da sebedau urang ngetu gawa - tu ti dikumbai the 11th hour ti di sempama ka jaku omputih), semua sida nerima gaji ti sama. Baka tuan kebun ke meri gaji ti sama taja pengelama sida ke gawa enda sebaka, bakanya mega pengasih tua dadi tetap sebaka ngagai kita tiga menyadi ku aku. Sudan bansa ke gawa ari pagi, tang deep in my heart I have this unshakeable faith that my first born will make it before the 11th hour ba pengawa ke mela. Sempat iya, enda iya temil agi ila, puji Tuhan. Fr Dom madahka sampi kitai ke indai bisa laban kitai besembiang from the heart!

Seilu-ilu

2010-03-19T16:50:00.008+08:00

Tua dadi baru udah meda Sudan bekejang, ia pulai saritu, bemalam semalam di KL dah nya ngena flight jam 7 pagi pagila ka Jogja. Bakani asai di tinggalka anak? Seilu-ilu amat laban Sudan lebih kurang baka aku. Sama enda betah. Nya nuan enda ngasuh aku tama boarding school suba Mi, uji nti aku ba boarding school suba nda aku chonggek bakatu, ku iya. Nama kurang diatu deh, berapa taun nuan udah sekula mindah ari rumah ku aku. Amat, tang bakanya belama asai ati aku. Pi udah teleba agi, suba iya ba Perth & Glasgow enda suah pulai, enda baka aku, nya alai iya betah agi, pia ku Sudan. Nya, nuan patut betah agi laban ulih suah pulai ku aku. Belai mata anak enggau indai.

Enda betah tua apai iya, Sudan rajin amat mela, ma lemai peda udah sedia jus digaga iya, peda bisi aja utai di empa kena ngirup lemai. Pia mega iya ka kiruh manduk lauk, enda ngudah. Sudan selalu nyium, merap, gaga ka tua apai iya. Apai iya teda dikayam iya, diketuk-ketuk, digama, ditekan-tekan ba sebelah dada, perut, belakang, rusuk, endur iya pritis nyadi lutor ke meresa tubuh. Ka ga dadi, sepengaga Sudan, ningkap ku Sudan, ningkap ga dadi, telentang ku Sudan, telentang ga dadi. Ninga mata apai iya enda tentu terang, di tes ia dadi asuh meda idung iya, dah nya jari iya dikepai ari sepiak-sepiak alu nanya apai iya sekali ia bisi meda. Ku iya ngecik field vision. Dah nya nyebut dadi, gerai aku deh Met? Tau bebini siku da aku deh? Tua menyanak nyu nyerauh, apu bisi amat dianjung nuan neh, buk nyu buban, mata parul ku aku. Nuan anang mayuh macham D, pia ku Sudan.

Aku tu seruran ka dimakeover Sudan, iya ngajar ni bagi shadows ka chun ka urang tuai, asuh iya tuchum dulu sebedau nyapu blusher ba kuyu ngambi chun ba apple kuyu. Nemu aku ku aku, udah meda tukang makeup Oprah ngajar ba TV. Meda ta nda chun peda aku deh Mi, aku makeup nuan, au, pia ku Sudan. Eh, kapa nya, aku enda entu bemakeup enggau urang, lebuh ka tampik ka shadow, parut ka mascara, lebuh enggai lipstick aja. Skin care baru aku enda ninchai, sigi dijaga aku amat. Ba runding aku laban aku ke enda pandai bemakeup, manah agi dikurang ke ngechat mua kitai, ngambi ka enda salah. Nti nyu balat makeup, nda manah dipeda (laban nda pass ngena), nyu baka indu utai sebelah nya kitai. Enti urang ke pandai be makeup sigi rindu kitai meda, nda pia.

Mesti exercise belama seduai, jaga pemakai, pia ku iya ngajar tua dadi. Di asuh nyadi vegetarian, ngambika apai iya gerai agi. Aku tu ka, enda beleman makai, apai urang nya enda tau enda makai dagin, taja enda mayuh, mimit aja, tang enda tau enda nyadi ka sera nyawa.

Tua dadi sama machai lemai tu, dadi pulai ka Dijih, meda urang gawa pagila, sida ka ngerachun rumput ba sawit. Aku nganti flight ka Miri, benung ba airport aku ke blogging tu, ka mansang ngulu seminar ke di atur gerija ke kami ke indu ba Imperial Hotel. Kami deka di ajar Father Gino Henriques, tua Maie sama enggau, pia mega sekeda raban cell group aku ari Bintulu.

Pama ga tua melaki bini enda kediri lemai tu, tang aku sinu ka Sudan, kediri-iri bemalam ba Tune hotel malam tu. Ka bemalam di KL, alang-alang amat laban datai nyu pukul 6 lemai, pagila pukul 5 pagi mesti datai ba airport ga, keruan nganjung diri makai enggau tinduk aja. Kami menyanak ke pemisi empai lama bemalam ba Tune hotel laban flight tumu pagi enggau malam ari, tak seilu-ilu amat ba hotel nya. 5 star experience for 1 star price pia ku Air Asia bedagang ka Tune hotel, tang enti kitai bisi endur milih, tau dikelaungka hotel nya, laban ari pengasai aku, enda 5 star experience sereta ukai 1 star price. Kami bebayar RM181 ka siti bilik semalam, nya lebih kurang baka rega 3 star hotel. Amat beresi, tang bilik kelalu sekut, nyu nadai endur begelih. Pia ga nadai endur manggai ka beg, engkah dibaruh nadai ga jalai. TV sigi nadai. Jamban sekut-sekut, kenu ku sa anak kada umbas endur urang ke tinggi nyengkutungka kaki ba jamban nya. Enda nemu aku utai, nyu sendat seput asai. Malam-malam di dinga kitai urang be irit ka beg ba luar, setuk-setuk. Kami menyanak nyua 2 iti bilik, pintu kedua iti bilik sama lekat, nyu regup-regup ka muka. Tua dadi keterubah iya diau dia, nya alai aku sakai, enda nemu hair dryer ke perlu dibayar enti ka ngena. Dani tumu pagi ka ngerangkai ka buok, enggai idup hair dryer, ke sepiak ngagai bilik sa anak, nya baru urang madahka aku. Ee, ku aku, tak beduit magang, kain mandi bayar, RM5 siti. Ngemayuh nya ga urang diau dia, receptionist madahka kami sida fully booked seminggu-minggu nya. Nti bisi bilik kusong ke munggang jam sigi di sua sida: 3 jam RM60 rega. Dini enda kaya sida Ananda Krishnan & Tony Fernandes. BTW, aku baru nemu nama reti "AK" enggau "FD", ke kena ngelar flight Air Asia maya kami ke pemisi empai lama, di padahka Sudan. AK nya Ananda Krishnan, FD nya Fernandes, siti agi ngambi nama shareholder siku da agi, asai ka PZ ka initials, enda ingat aku.

Nyu ngerichau, ngetu dulu aku, naka tu aja utai ke ka dikunsi, dah tu ka nemuai ngagai ruai bala pangan bukai. Selamat ujung minggu ngagai semua.

Don't leave Phuket without watching Simon's Cabaret

2010-03-13T19:24:00.017+08:00

Au, sigi amat, anang enda meda Simon's Cabaret, tentu kita teperindang. Landik amat sida indu bajik tu betanda, belagu, belakun, tambah ke enggau lampu, sound system enggau stage props ti manah, asai ke meda cabaret ba Las Vegas kitai. Tiap malam bisi 2 iti show, penuh belama kenu ku tour operator ke endur kami meli tiket. Theatre tu ba Patong.

Sorry guys, enda tau ngambi gambar ba theatre. Kami semina bepeluang ngambi gambar bala indu bajik tu pengudah abis show, laban sida iya bediri berintai ba pintu pemansut, ngebai kami.

Enda saru kita? P.o.n.d.a.n. magang sida tu. Kati tau bisi kereban tubuh baka enggi kitai indu? Kenu ku sa anak madahka aku, silicon implant, hormone injection, kedua angka sex change.

Anang saru, sida iya belakun, belagu enggau manah, nadai telanjai, nadai enda senunuh, begari baka ke dipeda ba gambar tu meh sida. Professional amat sida tu merindang urang ke meda.

Ka amat begambar enggau kitai. Bala anak enda sporting, enggai begambar enggau sida.
Some more.

Ka tengah-tengah nya landik amat belakun, nyadi Barbie Girl iya, rindu amat meda. Naka iya bala betempik jari.

Sa menyanak nganti transport mai pulai ngagai hotel..
Tu pesaka bai aku pulai..
Thank you Lord, for the children.
Thank you Lord for the soul mate.
And thank you Lord for Your saving grace!

Bonding in Phuket

2010-03-09T06:23:00.047+08:00

Sudan bisi pulai, pemisi 3 minggu. Nya alai kami menyanak lalu ngambi peluang pemisi diri sebilik ngagai Phuket, Thailand ujung minggu tu kemari.

Phuket siti pulau mua ka selatan Bangkok, tebilang nyadi siti endur pemisi ti dikerinduka mensia pupu bansa. Ketebal agi urang ke nemuai nya bala ribai, tiap taun bisi 3 juta iku urang nemuai kia. Tang sekumbang ekonomi dunya nyu udah surut, kurang agi temuai datai kin. Pemayuh tubuh sida ke sigi diau mendam ba Phuket muti 400,000 aja. Sebedau dagang temuai mansang suba (kira-kira berengkah ari taun 1972), batang dagang di Phuket nya nanam getah enggau ngulihka timah (tin). Diatu sigi dagang temuai ke dikemansangka perintah Thailand dia.

Dadi nyua MPV enggau driver mai kami menyanak raun. Aku rindu amat bakatu, laban ulih nanya mayuh bengkah utai ngagai driver, laban iya mega nyadi malin temuai. Mayuh amat utai ditanya mami, enda kasihka tudah M (nama driba) ke enda tentu nemu bejaku urang putih, pia ku Maie & Sudan mut-mut ari belakang. Ee, nda ninga kita iya nusi diri nemu bejaku urang putih ari ke riri bejaku enggau temuai ke dimalin iya, ku aku. Kasih ka iya meh aku tu, ngambi iya ulih pritis, pia ku aku.

Ba Thailand din kenu ku M, anembiak sekula semina di ajar ABC aja, just catch rat only, no rai, no spik English, pia ku M. No rai no spik ku iya nya no write, no speak. Aku rangap2 beratika reti "catch rat", udah nya baru aku meretika nya semina ngambika nemu ABC aja, pia ku iya. Nya meh aku lalu nanya iya nitihka stail jaku iya, asal meh iya mereti utai ku aku.

Aku meda M bisi nyelitka kain tajung enggau midul buda ba chermin kerita ke ba atas penuduk iya. Kapa nya, ku aku. O, tajung apai aku, kena ngiga nasit ku iya. Apai iya diau ba Krabi, 80 taun umur. Uh ku aku, nyu baka urang din ditu ke bebai ke towel urang sekeda....Maie lubah nangkap, udah nya baru ia nyerarat, "Mami!" lalu nempik lengan aku. Jera sida ka amat ngerara aku berandau. Aku ukai baka sida enti raun, sida meda utai pia aja, shopping, makai, tang aku ka nemu pasal menua ke endur raun, ekonomi menua nya, penusah sida, main asal, kalimpah ari endur ti manah dilawa.

M sebana dalam dua taun tu sigi surut penatai temuai, nya meh penatai iya sari nda sampai 1000 baht. Suba senang-senang bulih 5000 baht sari ku iya. Ni baka tuai perintah kita deh, rindu kita ka Abhisit, ku aku. Eh, nadai kami rindu, tak kakang-kakang mensia nya ngaga pemutus, "maybe, maybe", pia ku Abhisit. Thaksin not like that, ku ia, Thaksin can do, go, go, go. He bring money, we also got money, he bring business we also got business ku iya. Never mai black money, we also got a bit, so same-same grow, ku ia. Nya, nemu kita utai ku iya?

Kami menyanak manding ka urang Thai enggau urang Indonesia, urang di Indon peramah amat, lembut amat jaku, penuh amat budi basa. Ba Thailand enda berapa, kurang tuchum, sigi enda nanya kitai, ba hotel pin bakanya meh. Ku kami menyanak angka laban sida ke enda tentu nemu jaku omputih, nya sida bakanya.

Kami diau ba Burasari Resort, ba Patong. Patong tu ba pesisir pantai, sekut amat, laban mayuh hotel, endur makai, sereta mayuh agi temuai diau ditu. Tu sida menyanak begambar ba berinda hotel.

Ba bilik hotel

Ba bilik hotel

Sida anak sempat nyemerai ba kolam ai hotel.

Ba penama sepiak wing endur kami diau.

Ba Karon Beach. Ratus iku Matsaleh bejembi baka lachau, ngelaban panas, bisi kedua topless, nyu tegepang kami menyanak. Tengah-tengah raun pangan aku indai Tap bisi be sms. Ninga aku nusi bisi indu ribai topless, iya lalu nundi aku, bisi chachat sepiak baka enggi aku sida iya u?Atai indai tuai nya, sigi nemu ngasuh kitai ketawa. Enti kita ngelala indai Tap, nemu kita reti jaku iya tu. . Aku iran amat beratika sida ribai, datai ari menua chelap, enda teleba bepanas, tang naka penakal ga bejembui besari-sari. Kitai ditu ukai main rari ke panas, enda tan bepanas.

Manah amat pantai din, ai pin chiru. Aruh iya urang rindu nemuai kin. Urang ke pemadu untung nemuai kitu sigi bala ribai ke rindu mandi, bejembi, diving & snorkelling.

Tumu pagi kami menyanak breakfast laban ka bekejang ngena cruise boat raun ngagai pulau Phi Phi. Rega pemakai ba hotel enggau restaurant bisi murah agi ari enggi kitai ditu, kira-kira 20-30% baruh agi. Sida tiga menyadi sempat shopping, benung tua dadi ka salun - apai Maie berurut kaki, aku pedicure, nyu sinu meda kaki enda tentu di intu.

Pulai shopping sida nusi jerita diri empu, nyu ketiga kali kami meli utai baru asai ka nemu kami betawar, pia ku Maie. Aku lalu nanya berapa rega baju gaun ti dibeli seduai, disebut seduai rega, aku lalu nesal enda ngajar sida tiga bakani ku betawar ka barang. Bid from 50% off enti meli utai sebelah kaki lima baka ke ba pasar Patong. Enggi kitai ditu bisi rega dipandang, enggi din nadai rega di engkah, tak sepeneka ati urang empu kedai nyebut. Arapka udah tu ila sida iya nemu meh. Let them learn, never mind they made mistakes, pia ku apai tuai urang Dijih. Au meh ku ati aku din, as long as the mistakes are not expensive ones, sayau ga duit. Dah nya Maie sebana, nanchang perut aku udah tu Mi, nganti ke terima ujung bulan. Pia meh wai anak.

Raring to go, waiting for pick up for a trip to Phi Phi Ley.

Ari enam kami raun ngagai Pulau Phi Phi, kira 1 jam 20 minit ngena cruise boat baru datai din. Kami nesal amat ketegal program nyu enda nitihka utai ti dipadahka ba brochure, bisi diputung sida. Nya meh jimat enti meli tour package, laban sida mayuh enda tentu nitihka program. Ba Patong ukai mimit-mimit booth endur sida bedagang ke tour package, peneka ati kitai milih, sida agen dia ngambi komisyen.

Merarau ba Phi Phi Island - buffet, included in the cruise package. Ukai main ba brochure madahka pemanah pemakai, tang ke bendar biasa aja la, baka asi champur kitai di menua tu.

Dadi tukang ngambi ke kami ai & utai di empa ari bar ba cruise boat - free flow of coffee & soft drinks. Kami bisi diberi sida ruti, buah nanas enggau muffins.

Phi Phi island di peda ari deck kapal ti dikena kami, the Sea Angel.

Mother and son snorkelling at Monkey Beach. Aku enda changgih, enda ngambi gambar ikan enggau batu karang ke dipeda maya snorkelling. Di umpan tua Igat ngena ruti paun, nyu begau ikan nutu, tang enda ulih tangkap. Aku enggai jauh Igat, bejaga-jaga enggai ke tak nama-nama utai nyadi. Igat lalu complain ngagai bala akak iya, atai baka mami, enggai jauh aku, pia ku iya. Nda memunyi tudah diri, guilty as charged. Ila sida nyadi apai indai baru sida nemu asai ati aku. Enda patut indai labang anak burik, enda pia.

Siti cruise boat ke mansa kami ke snorkelling.

Enda mukai-mukai patung Maie besalah, nya nyu dibalut. Nya tudah tuai ta bejalai belubah-lubah...Sudan enggai ninggalka akak iya kediri ba boat, dadi enggau ke sinus tebantai, nya alai sida tiga dadi enda enggau snorkelling.

Monkey Beach.

Nda bisi ngambi gamal urang din apai tuai & indai tuai dua iku tu? Ba cruise boat, mansang ngagai Phi Phi Island.
Dalam cruise boat.

Ba Wat Chalong.

Apai & anak.

Malam kedua kami makai ba Kantok, restaurant ke ba hotel endur kami diau.

Kantok Restaurant tu berimbai enggau Floyd Brasserie, ngambi nama apai tuai ke pandai manduk lauk, Keith Floyd ke udah mati taun tu kemari. Floyd kala diau ba Burasari Resort lalu nudukka endur makai tu.

Ari sepiak aku ke duduk. Tudah diri nyadi tukang gambar. Dadi enda mai charger, nyu abis bateri camera aku, nyu ngena camera Maie. Maie enda ga mai bateri, nama nyu ari ke penudi ngenyadi ka telefon ngambi gambar.

Raban main asal hotel merindang kami ke makai lemai

Sita, nitihka jerita Ramayana & Sita.

Ba pentas ujung din endur bala ke nebah music.

Brunch ba Banana Leaf Restaurant ba Patong, enda jauh ari hotel ke endur kami diau. Pasal pemakai sigi bulih tahan menua Thailand, kami sebilik rindu amat makai pemakai sida. Tambah mega laban sida nerima mayuh temuai ribai, mayuh restaurant nyendiaka pemakai ribai mega. Sida menyanak tak every meal makai tom yam. Undang sida fresh magang.

Tom yam gung, brunch makai tom yam...

High tea makai tom yam.

Udah ikak raun meling Phuket, kami high tea ba hotel Marriott Courtyard, sepiak hotel kami. Igat ka makai pizza & dadi makai tom yam lagi...

We went to the Fantasea, a theme park. The package included buffet dinner and a concert.

Ba penama ngagai banquet hall ti endur kami makai sebedau meda concert. Enda tau ngambi gambar maya concert, nya alai nadai gambar. Rindu meda bala gajah bemain enggau raban main asal belagu & betanda. Lighting & sound system sida manah amat, Las Vegas quality production concert sida.

Ba penatai di Fantasea theme park.

Makai ba banquet hall. Besai amat hall tu, chukup endur 4000 iku urang. Peneka kitai ngambi pemakai, nya aku beratika ukai semina kitai ari menua Asia ke enda tentu nemu basa makai, urang matsaleh pin mayuh meh nampui, laban kelalu amu ngambi pemakai.
Mami & dadi ba Fantasea theme park.

Apai & anak & gajah.

Ila nampung jerita baru, kedua gambar ba kamera Maie, iya bara gagau bedau email ngagai aku.

Sebiru diri menyanak enggau bala kaban

2010-02-14T19:09:00.031+08:00

Igat pulai chuti beserimbai enggau taun baru China - iya datai ari lima suba lalu Maie pin sama pulai lemai nya. Aku sigi udah sedia manduk lauk ke dikerinduka seduai. Benung aku kiruk-kiruk bebela lemai nya, Igat lalu nukang ka pintu peti asi. Best amat tu Mi, mayuh amat utai di empa dibeli nuan. Paling best aku nemu tu enda nemu abis, laban sigi di isi nuan baru ma abis. Nti ba kolej din, ma muka peti ais berunding dulu aku, nanya diri empu, empa ka enda yogurt nya, tauka galau ka pagila, pia ku Igat. Ia lapa bakanya deh, ku aku. Ga ia Mi, mar amat meli utai di empa. Aku makai muesli ka breakfast, tang mar rega ku Igat. Aji la Bakir..... Oo, Igat, pia ku Dadi, enti pasal utai di empa agi ulih tupi tua Mami nuan, anang bangat ta ngenyadi makai, belanja bukai baru anang enda bejimat. Enda ga aku ngenyadi makai D, pia ku Igat, aku ngurangka diri makai utai laban ka nguruska diri, ku iya. Amat udah surut tubuh iya, bisi 5 kilo turun.

Bisi seminggu sebedau iya pulai Igat telipun nusi diri bisi ngalu ngagai Allamanda Shopping Centre di Putrajaya. Mayuh amat biskut di jual sida dia ku iya, laban ka taun baru China. Nyu baka kuih kitai Iban ke begawai, pia ku Igat, bisi kuih sepit, bisi kuih chuan, bisi sarang semut. Iya ketenguk amat meda tart nanas. Nda meli nuan deh, ku aku. Mar amat Mi, ku ia, RM17 sebalang. Ee, sigi rega ia nya ku aku. Dah nya Maie nusi Igat bisi telipun nusi diri nyadi meli tart nanas, tang dikunsi sida 3 iku sekaban...Aji la Bakir. Igat nusi diri ketenguk ka makai kuih bakul. Nya alai tengan minggu tu kemari tua Dadi bebelika pemakai - tart nanas, kuih bakul, cheesecake, kuih sepit, bebelika lauk. Laban aku ke baru pulai ari Labuan minggu tu kemari, aku meli chocolate enggau biskut di bai pulai. Nya meh ti ngasuh Igat gaga.....

Udah makai lemai Dadi lalu mai kami hang out ba Reggae's Grill - siti endur makai ti happening amat - good ambience, kupi pin nyamai meh. Aku lalu nusi ngagai Maie utai ti disebut Igat pasal iya ke ngenyadi meli pemakai. Ee mami, ku Maie, peda nuan utai dikena iya, dia endur iya bebelanja...Aku lalu malik semak agi, peda jersey Man U - ori nya ku aku, au ku Igat, beli Met ka aku. Peda ke baruh, Crocs (hm aku enda tebeli ka diri Crocs chak, taja udah kereja, ku Maie nganu Igat).. Krismas suba mai beg sandik baru...baik ga bisi sale maya nya, nda mar rega beg... pulai ari raya suba meli headphone ti changgih, tua melaki bini laban ke enda beteknologi changgih enda beratika utai ti dikena Igat.. nemu di ku Maie, mar rega head phone Igat nya Mami. Di, di, ku ati ku din, tua apai iya meli head phone ke pengabis murah kena be Skype.. anak changgih... Di ajar meh nya, di asuh bejimat enggau duit, tang aku beratika angka laban iya baru kediri, baru pansut ari kerungan, nya alai iya agi gagit ka diri bebas ngaga pemilih. Ngarapka ma udah lama agi ila iya nda bakanya meh, nemu reti utai ti berega ukai semina ia ti manah dipeda aja tauka ia ke bejenama aja.. ...Taja pia iya discipline - aku ngirumka iya duit tiap bulan kena nambahka subsistence allowance ke diberi JPA, enda kala minta tambah iya. Bisi sekali iya bebelanja lebih, nyu suntuk amat nganti duit ka datai, tang iya enda minta kirum. Nama hal enda minta kirumka duit deh ku aku. Malu aku minta lebih Mi, pia ku iya. Hm, baik meh nya ku ati aku din, puji Tuhan.

Kami menyanak pulai ke rumah panjai kemari, baru pulai ke Bintulu lemai tu. Dadi mai kami serumah gawa, nebas rumput ba pun sawit lalu nyarau dan sawit. Igat enggau apai iya gawa, seduai menyanak maja. Tua Maie mela pemakai.

Kasam ngut gulai daun kepayang, di peruk enggau beras ti udah diguring... Igat ketenguk ka makai kasam jani, bidik amat ga bisi urang nyual ngut ngagai rumah panjai kami kemari, nya alai lalu digaga ka kasam....
Pulai sembiang pagi tadi kami menyanak nyengguk tamu ba Selangau, untung amat aku tetemuka urang nyual upak bindang.... Tu lauk bala kami tengah ari tadi - begulai enggau bala ipar, bala anak, menantu, uchu, chapoh kami sebuat...

Meda Igat enda ulih enggau begawai ila (iya exam AS maya nya), Dadi lalu munuh siku jani ka dipanggang kami serumah de malam. Bala ke gawa di nengeri bisi pulai magang, nya alai kami serumah rami de malam, sama nguyas ka ngut....Sigi rindu begulai makai bebala mayuh, berandau, betanyaka berita...

Serumpu maya hari minggu - four generations ku Maie meda gambar tu - indai, menyadi aku, Maie enggau Ann. Sa menyadi aku selalu ba rumah panjai sida di Sepaduk, muti ari minggu baru sida bisi pulai ka rumah sida di bandar. Kami sama lelenggau ka pangan diri nya alai udah sembiang missa hari minggu tu kemari kami menyanak mai sida makai...

Maya kami makai tengah ari tadi, kami sebuat mayuh jerita ti ngasuh ketawa. Tuai rumah kami lalu nusi jerita niang aya sida suba, apai M ku kami, petunggal sekali dadi. Apai M enda serumah enggau kami, iya serumah enggau sida di ulu Dijih. Apai M suah nundi bini iya. Sekali seduai ke umai, nebas. Nya meh nyu telih isi tudah tuai kena babas laban tanchut panjai iya charik, tanchut dalam (kuntung) ti dikena iya pin sama charik ga, enggai enda chun-chun senentang utai iya ga ka charik. Muchau iya, lalu rauh-rauh nganggauka bini iya,...kitu di Indai M, ku iya, lalu bai duku..ee, nama nya, pia ku bini iya, gesah-gesah. Nya, peda nuan pala udun nya, pantap enggau, pia ku apai M. Indai M lalu muchau, pedis ati kediri dikeduan laki iya. Jehak (jerak) iya, pia ku apai M ke nusi jerita ngagai sida tuai rumah kami, keba iya buhuk (buruk) nyait tanchut aku, nyu chahik (charik) magang-magang...dini enda telih isi kitai kasak engkejuhu (engkejuru), pia ku apai M. Lekik-lekik kami ketawa...Nya neh, nya anang buhuk kitai ke bini nyait tanchut laki, enda alah ta dibantaika uhang utai.

Tu siti agi ga jerita seduai iya, pia ku tuai rumah kami. Lebuh nyu ka semak hari gawai indai M ke pasar lalu ngaga buok. Iya meh datai di rumah nyu ka enda ngelala iya apai M, semadi nyu semak baru nemu nya ke bini diri empu. Oo, bajik amat bini aku deh, pia ku apai M, lalu dijeput iya kuyu bini iya. Indai M lalu ringat, bedawa ngagai tuai rumah, ngasuh tuai rumah ngukum laki iya laban laki iya ngemelika iya, ngumbai aku bajik iya, pia ku indai M. Ee, ku tuai rumah, aku enda nemu kati ku ngukum iya, laban nadai salah iya nyeput kuyu dik, iya laki dik, pia ga nadai salah iya ngumbai dik bajik, iya laki dik, ku tuai rumah.. nama deh...ringat meh tudah indai M tu tadi... Jugau endar ku aku, enda nemu ngena peluang. Uji ma laki nyeput kuyu, ngumbai kitai bajik, lalu tangkap enggau jari iya, nama ka dik ulu, pia ku kitai, ngambika urang betambah sayau....nda pia ku kita....selamat hari Valentine...

My Lord and my God, Tuhan, Allah Taala aku!

2010-01-23T22:58:00.064+08:00

Dear Lord Jesus,

You command me to love the Lord God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength and to love my neighbour as I love myself (Luke 10:27; Deuteronomy 6:5). You show me the way to love as you love - you died on the cross to win a redemption for me and all those who believe in You. Your love is self-sacrificial, perfect love.

So it is that I am exhorted to love like You, to give my all, no matter the pain, the betrayal by the people I love, the prejudices, the ridicule that I have to go through. I am struggling Lord to be what You want me to be, to discern and obey Your will in my life, to please You in the things I do, but You know how often I stumble, how frequent I fall. Through it all Lord, You have always been there for me. You have always been faithful and not allow me to be tempted beyond my strength and with the trial, You provide me with a way out, so that I may be able to bear it. (1 Cor 10:13). You teach me forgiveness and when I find it difficult to forgive, You give me Your strength. You forgive me each time I say sorry. You pick me up, You heal my wounds. You give me wisdom and understanding to know where I have gone wrong and let those lessons in life teach me to become a better person, and my prayer is for me to become a daughter who would make You proud. My prayer is that when You take me from this world, You take me at a time when I am most holy, and I'd like to hear You say, "You have competed well; You have finished the race; You have kept the faith. From now on the crown of righteousness awaits you" (2 Timothy 4:7-8). Such is my hope Lord, and You promise such hope will not disappoint (Romans 5:5) and it gives me immense joy.

Dear Lord, how trying it is to love as You love in these months. Excruciatingly difficult, Lord. I've been banned from saying "Allah Taala". I have pain, Lord, deep pain in my heart. Forbidding me from calling the Almighty "Allah Taala" is like cutting off my limbs. The very first hymn I learnt when I was a young girl of six years was "Bisi siku Allah Taala, Iya ti ngaga dunya..".and the very first prayer to profess my faith in Iban was 'Aku arapka Allah Taala, Apai ti besai kuasa.." And I've been calling God Allah Taala long before the Bible in the Indonesian language came to Malaysia. And now Lord, as I approach middle age, I have been forbidden from calling my Heavenly Father by His name, Allah Taala, because others claim only they have the absolute right to address the Lord God as Allah.

Lord, You want us to know the truth about God. I've been trying Lord, for indeed what St Augustine said is true, my heart is restless, until it rests in Thee. And the God that I know and believe in is a God of love. He loves all mankind - Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Jewish, white, yellow, black - He makes the sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and unjust (Mathew 5:45). The God that I know is forgiving, and He wants me to be forgiving like Him "Be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect" (Mathew 5:48). The God that I know is holy, so He wants me to be holy.(1 Peter 1:16). He gives me the golden rule to regulate my relationship with others, which is to do to others whatever I would want others to do to me (Mathew 7:12). He wants me to be compassionate and humble (Mathew 18:4). He tells me not to return evil for evil or insult for insult, but on the contrary, a blessing, that I might inherit a blessing (1 Peter 8-9). As much as He is a God of mercy and love, so is He a God of justice, so I fear Him, for He can destroy both soul and body (Mathew 10:28). God is real to me, real in my soul.

Lord Jesus, I believe that You are the Son of God, the 2nd Person of the Holy Trinity, You are my Saviour, the promised of the prophets, the fullness of God's revelation. You are the Word of God, Who become flesh and dwell among us. (John 1:1-14). We sin and our rebellion distanced us from God, and out of His great love for us, God sent You his only begotten Son to the world, Your blood is the expiation of our sin and reconcile our broken relationship with God (Rom 5:9-10). Through You, the promise by God to bless the descendants of Abraham our father in faith is fulfilled, for the blessing is given through baptism of believers all over the world (Galatians 3:14). So they say You are just a prophet, You are just a man and not Divine, You didn't die on the cross, they say You were substituted by someone else. As my daughter Daphne pointed out, the Bible said the chief priests bribed the soldiers to lie - to say that You had been taken by Your disciples and the story has circulated .. to the present day (Mathew 28:11-15). We believe that You will come again to judge the living and the dead and all dominions, powers, principalities will acknowledge You as the Saviour, Lord and King. And our Muslim brothers also believe that at the end of the world, You, Lord Jesus, will come to judge mankind and that You will rule for 40 years. Indeed Lord, it is precisely because You are Divine that You have the power to judge mankind. Indeed Lord, there is no salvation through anyone else, nor is there any other name under heaven given to the human race by which we are to be saved, except by Your name Lord. (Acts 4:12).

Lord I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Advocate and Teacher, Who leads me to all truths, who reminds me of your teachings (John 14:26), who convicts me of my sin, so that I know where I have erred and seek mercy. The Holy Spirit who dwells in us believers bears fruits - the gift of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22). True, non-believers cannot accept the Spirit of Truth, because the world neither sees nor knows it. But to all who believe, we know it, because it remain with us and in us (John 14:17). Yes Lord, through the pouring of Your Spirit on us believers, we are the sons and daughters who prophesy, we are the old men who dream, we are the young men who see visions. (Joel 3:1).

O Lord God, You make Your covenant with us, and You place Your laws within us, You write Your laws in our hearts and You are our God, and we Your people (Jeremiah 31:33). You want me to be obedient to the faith (Romans 1:5). Offerings and sacrifices You do not require, what You want is a broken spirit and a repentant heart. (Psalm 51:18-19). What You want from me is the circumcision of my heart (Romans 2:29), for You judge my heart (1 Sam 16:7).

What I feel for Thee is real, You fill my innermost being, the love that You pour in my heart through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5) moves me to love as You love. Thus it pains me Lord when men, with our imperfections and who fall short of Your glory (Romans 3:23), not only judge my faith and what I believe in as one falsehood but deign to prescribe as law how I worship You. Even You Lord God, give me free will. You alone are my judge, for You are God the Almighty, You alone are Perfect, You are the Holy, Immortal One.

Lord, send forth Your Spirit of Truth and let this Spirit prove to the powers that be how wrong they are about sin, righteousness and judgment (John 16:8-11). Lord, raise up righteous leaders for this nation, leaders after Your own heart. Lord, help Your disciples to be steadfast in our faith, hope and love in You. Give us the grace Lord, to forgive those who hurt us.

And Lord I pray for golden peace, peace all over the land
may all men dwell in liberty, walking hand in hand
banish fear and ignorance, hunger thirst and pain
banish hate and poverty, let no man live in vain.

Keep all men for ever one, one in love and grace
wipe away all war and strife, give freedom to each race
Let your justice reign supreme
and righteousness be done
let goodness rule the hearts of men
and evil be overcome.
In Your Precious Name Lord, I pray, Amen.
In nomine Patris, et Filius, et Spiritu Sancti, Amen.

Serumpu

2010-01-09T01:34:00.008+08:00

Mai lauk Iban ah, ju ka kitai ngulam sayur, ku aku. Au, ku indai Linguh. Au, ku indai Tim. Pia munyi aum bala kami ke indu tengah ari tu tadi, bebai serumpu makai. Pulai ari upis tua dadi berumban-rumban nyendiaka utai, dadi meli itit panggang, aku lalu manggang jani, manduk buah entekai enggau nasak buah dabai. Peda bala datai sama ngemayuhnya ga mai lauk. Nya kami sebuat belauk buah lumuk, kaki jani, lulun ikan enseluai, upak lalis, kim chi, jani guring, petai, manuk enggau sayur champur, kelimpah ari lauk ti udah disediaka aku.

Lama kami sepangan enda beserumpu makai, taun siti tu kemari aku enda ulih enggau belama, semina apai Maie ke enggau sida. Tu bala pangan lama: apai Amoi, apai Tap, apai Tim, apai Boy enggau apai Linguh. Ia ke biak nya Mit, anak apai Boy.

Kami ke indu muka pak ke diri di bilik. Enda ganggam magang kami di peda kita? Violet (indai Amoi), Doris (indai Tap), Nuai (indai Linguh), Christina (indai Tim) enggau indai Maie. Chapoh bala betusi jerita, mayuh utai dikenang, jerita kami agi biak kelia maya baru masuk SIDS, jerita pengerai, jerita bala anak, indai Tap nusi uchu iya ke mit nemu sembiangka iya. Semua nusi diri udah berubah magang, mayuh gaya pengidup ti enda dikerinduka agi, laban ubah nyu udah tuai. Endang ke baka selama, sigi indai Tap meh ke ngasuh kami rangkai ngeli...

Tu sekeda utai di empa kami. Dini enda ganggam deh! Kirum salam ngagai sida aunty mami, pia ku Igat ke telipon benung kami ke richah. Au ku aku. Klaput yu, ku aku madahka sida. Bala lalu ketawa, laban maya agi mit suba Igat enda nemu nyebut "claypot", ma ka makai mi claypot ia lalu nyebut makai mi "klaput" kitai mi, ku ia. Nya nama nya lekat datai ka saritu!

Mupuk dulu, nyau ngantuk, tadi bedau ka tinduk ketegal udah ngirup kupi Hai Peng ke dibeli aku ari Kemaman. Aku bisi bejalai ka pengawa kin bulan dua belas suba, udah tembu miting di bai urang ngirup ba kopitiam ba tisi jalai, mai kami nyepi kupi ke tebilang din, kupi Hai Peng. Nyamai ku bala pangan aku....

Feast of Epiphany, the last day of Christmas

2010-01-03T21:11:00.010+08:00

Saritu kitai ngintu Hari Besai Pemandang tauka Epiphany. Tua dadi sembiang di St Charles, Selangau pagi tadi lalu benasit amat laban Bishop saritu meri missa sereta saritu mega Bishop madahka St Charles nyadi parish ti baru, megai Selangau, Skuau enggau Tamin, berengkah ari 1 hb 1 taun 2010. Paderi (rector) St Charles nya Fr Andrew Tan. Congregation sama gaga, sama betempik jari ngelaluka berita nya. Puji Tuhan, awakka parish ti baru numbuhka pengawa meritaka injil ngagai bala ti agi bedau nemu pengerindu Allah Taala.

Igat aja ke ulih pulai enggau tua apai iya ngintu Krismas. Baik ga nya, taja aku enda betah Maie & Sudan, pama meh bisi bujang sigat aku dikayam. Thank you Lord for the son. Thank you for having me for Christmas, pia ku Igat sms udah iya datai di KL. The pleasure was ours son.

Gavin Jerome Man, 18+, my youngest. "Man" ngangkatka nama niang aki dadi ke ngadaka entua aku ke indu. "Jerome" nama confirmation iya, ngangkatka saintly scholar, a doctor of the church.

Taun tu kami menyanak semina ngintu enggau diri sekaban sereta bala pangan. Indai sereta akak aku sebilik enggau kami menyanak makai tengah ari hari Krismas, dah nya kami alu ngabang ngagai bala pangan sereta kaban belayan. Nyu malam baru kami tiga nerima pengabang. Tu nah sekeda gambar kami.

Taun tu bala ari rumah panjai bisi nemuai. Tu uchu Imas enggau Bek, anak Tuai Rumah kami.

Pangan lama aku, indai Tim, begulai enggau bala kaban belayan
Bala ari rumah panjai
Ann-Marie Jeburi, anak Julie.
Bini TR Agup ari Dijih enggau indai Ir Jawan.
Yam seng, jam nyu udah pukul 9.30 mlm, bala ka mupuk ngagai rumah anak petunggal dadi ke mai sembiangka anak iya ke pulai sekula ka Uni.

Pangan lama, Nura. Kami lekik-lekik ninga seduai indai Tim nusi jerita sida SIDs ke raun ka KL pun bulan 12 tu kemari. Sida nemuai ngagai Parlimen, ka meda Parlimen baum. Penemuai sida kin di atur siku pemesai politik ditu, datai din sida diangkut ngena bas ke bechap'Jabatan Orang Asli". Ia sida datai ba gate, sida di asuh security pansut ari bas, asuh urang baris, bejalai kaki ka bangunan Parlimen. Nyampau penyauh sida bejalai, ia ga gap amat begari. Ia meh niki tangga, dirara urang, di asuh bejimat-jimat meda sida bekasut tunjik. Datai din enda di asuh urang bejaku, enda di asuh urang segau-segau, tak enda engkeretik sida. Malam nya maya ke makai enggau pemesai baru sida iya nemu sida enda patut digaga bakanya. Eh, kada enda dikumbai urang indu orang asli kita deh, ga kita ngena bas chap nya, ku aku. Pemadu meh enda ku Nura. Kasih kita kumbai urang jakun, ku aku. Bala lekik-lekik, wey, dini enda dirara urang enggai ka tegelinchir niki tangga, kumbai urang enda teleba ngena kasut tunjik kita, ku aku. Nura nusi pemesai ke enggau sida makai nyu keberai ai mata bai pemendar ketawa ninga jerita sida.

Ga ia urang di Malaya din ke jakun, enda nemu gamal kitai Iban ditu. Uji kitu sida nemuai meda pendiau kitai. Ari kami ke sekula din kelia dataika diatu (nitihka utai ditusi sida nembiak ke sekula di Malaya diatu), agi meh bala urang Malaya ngumbai kitai ditu jakun, kumbai diau ba puchuk kayu. Kasih mati, kemaya kitai tu ke kala begitang diau ba puchuk kayu.

Ba rumah Jawan.
Igat mai bala kaban iya makai lemai siti. Sida tu geng sama altar servers, diatu sama nampung pelajar di luar Bintulu.

Tua dadi pulai ka rumah panjai lemai 31 ngintu taun baru din. Meruik sa ngut, bala ngelulun pulut. Laban ke laun datai, enda kiruh aku, udah disangkung sida ipar aku bilik sepiak. Pia mega bilik aku udah dituchi indai Kumo. Terima kasih Tuhan ke kaban belayan ke mentas ati. Tu sida ke nembiak, berami malam nya. Udah ngelaluka taun baru, tua dadi sama tinduk urung pukul 1 pagi. Bala nembiak bekaraoke, betanda sampai jam 5 pagi, semadi dadi ngasuh sida badu enggaika LCD projector enda tan anggat.

Tumu pagi 1 aribulan kami meipar-ipar nurun ka Selangau, makai mi "spisil" ku ipar aku. Kita melanja, ka makai duit sawit kita, ku dadi nganu bala menyadi iya. Au, ku sida. Tu gamal mi spisil, gulai ikan tapah. Tua melaki bini makai mi guring basah aja. Ila ngasuh tukay Big Bowl ngajar sida manduk mi, enda chun magang mi di Selangau sepi aku.

And apa yang tidak menghairankan, ayam mata aku sempat mai urang gawa kena 2 aribulan, 9 iku urang dibai iya maja sawit....Ka masang ku iya, niki rega sawit taun tu. Barang ia meh ulu...

Egyptian Breakaway 7-16 December

2009-12-27T19:51:00.029+08:00

I want to break free!...Ba piramid di Giza.

Kami duai melaki bini pemisi ngagai menua Ejip pun bulan tu kemari begulai enggau 24 iku bala urang bukai.

Kami bemalam ba Cairo 2 malam, nemuai ngagai Alexandria se ari sereta cruise ngulu sungai Nil 4 malam, diau ba cruise ship. Ari Cairo kami ke Luxor nepan kerita api, 8 jam. Ari Luxor kami nepan cruise ship ka Aswan.

Ejip siti menua ke puang, laban semina 5% aja menua ulih endur diau sereta betanamka utai, kelebih nya padang pasir enggau menua puang. Pemayuh tubuh urang ke diau din 80 juta, lalu tiap taun pemayuh tubuh nambah 1.8 juta (ga ia peridi amat indu Arab). 90% urang din beragama Islam, 9% Christian (Coptic Christians). Enda milih indu Muslim tauka Christian, semua sida begari sama, sama ngena purdah. Sida ke biak ngena blaus sereta skirt panjai, suah tak denim skirt kena sida ia.

Batang penatai pemisi sida ari betanam, dagang temuai enggau minyak & gas. Ekonomi sida jauh tinggal ari kitai di malaysia, pia mega ari segi pemansang enggau tikas pengidup. Mayuh merinsa urang din, pemakai ta plant-based ke mayuh agi. Gaji urang kereja perintah din semina RM500 sebulan enti dipulaika ngagai duit kitai. Ga sida ngambi ulih amat ba temuai, enda tau tama jamban, enda tau megai beg ba airport, sigi minta tip. Ma ka ka jamban sediaka 1 pound (1 USD = 5 Egyptian pound).

Cairo kamah amat, pia ga bejerebu, bangunan tak kelabu magang-magang. Sampah dibuai sebelah parit sereta atap rumah ta penuh ditugongka sampah. Atap sida lurus (flat) ngambi nyamai endur nambahka bilik, ngaga siti tingkat ka atas. Ketegal ka mayuh tubuh sereta tanah ke tau endur diau enda besai, dia sida enda tau enda minta permit ari perintah enti ka ngaga rumah. Nya alai ngambika ulih nangkir rumah, sigi ditambahka tingkat. Sida diau sebilik apai indai enggau semua bala anak uchu. Urang indu nguaika bilik lelaki, semina anak lelaki enggau bini anak sida ke diau begulai enggau apai indai.

Menua din jarang ujan semina 10 tauka 15 kali aja setaun. Nya nyu nambahka pengamah, daun kayu nyu belang magang dipansa kitai. Diatu musin chelap, siang ari 20 deg malam 10 deg.

Alexandria bisi beresi mimit, tang agi jauh meh pemeresi ari kitai ditu.

Dadi ba Giza.

Dadi ba mua penatai di Giza, melakangkan Sphinx.

Kami bisi nemuai ngagai Cairo Museum enggau the valley of the kings- ia nya pendam ti endur nguburka bangkai 62 iku pharaohs. Semua pendam sigi udah disengkubang urang dulu kelia, semina tinggal bangkai sida aja (mummies). Semina pendam Tutankhamun ke enda ditemu sida, nya alai agi meruan baya ditemu Howard Carter ba taun 1922. Tu kebuah King Tut tebilang amat. Baya iya diayanka ba museum di Cairo. Ba Valley of the Kings & museum enda tau ngambi gambar, nya alai enda ulih nunjukka pemanah kereja jari urang Ejip dulu kelia. Dinding pendam sida pharaoh sigi penuh ditulis enggau hieroglyphic writings, nusi jerita pharaoh enggau enda tau enda, jerita ngintu pemati iya, nunjukka urang nge mummy bangkai, datai ngagai pejalai semengat iya ti deka di akim petara. Semua perengka tubuh dalam nyin di simpan dalam tajau, muti ati iya aja tinggal ngambika bisi diakim. Ati ditimbang, enti ia berat agi ari bulu burung ke ba dachin sepiak, reti nya pharaoh nya enda merintah enggau manah, nya alai ia deka diukum, dibuai ngagai dunya penusah, enti iya manah, deka tama ngagai paradise, kenu. Nyu munyi konsep kitai Kristian ke diakim Allah Taala sida tu.

Dadi & mami melakangka Sphinx.

Ba kedai nyual minyak wangi, aku begambar enggau indu Arab. Tu ka moden, ka bajik, ke mayuh agi enda dipeda gamal laban ngena purdah. Aku meli minyak wangi (oil tauka essence ke bedau digulai alcohol - minyak tu ke dikena nyadika base perfume D & G, Chanel YSL). Mayuh macham nama minyak wangi, kedua tau kena ngubat ampus laban iya berangin ma digulai ba ai angat. Kedua kena kitai indu. Wangi ke digaga ari bungai Lotus nya ke dikerinduka Nefertiti (bini Pharaoh Akhenaton ke bajik). Enti ngena, dititikka ba kening enggau baruh pending dua-dua piak (segi tiga), pia ku indu Arab ke bajik ke tinggi nya madahka kami. Bisi siti agi wangi ke benama "Secrets of the Desert" kena urang indu ma malam ari, di tataka ba segi tiga tebalit ku iya (ni ku kita meh nyagam utai ku iya). Laban ke rindu nunu minyak kena ngewangika bilik, aku lalu meli 5 bansa minyak nyengkaum frankincense.

Ba Cairo kami diau ba 5-star Movenpick Resort, sigi siti hotel chain ke tebilang di menua Eropah.
Merarau ba Hard Rock Cafe di Cairo.
Hard Rock Cafe
Begambar semak tebing sungai Nil di Cairo.
Ba penatai kubu ke digaga Salahdin kena ngelaban bala urang Kristian maya perang Crusades kelia.
Ba mua masjid Mohamad Ali.
Tu rampa bandaraya Cairo. Peda jerebu, bangunan tak bechurak kelabu aja aja.
Gambar patung petara Horus di Luxor. Luxor beresi agi ari Cairo.

Ba Hapshepshut Temple. Hapshepshut nya raja (Pharaoh) indu, iya enggai alah kasak urang lelaki, iya ka nunjukka iya mega ulih ngereja utai baka Pharaoh lelaki, nya alai iya ngaga rumah sembiang tu kena nyembah petara Amon (petara matahari), minta berekat petara.

Tu ba Karnak temple di Luxor. Rumah sembiang tu digaga mayuh bala Pharaoh, kena nyembah petara Amon. Malam ari kami bisi enggau urang meda show "Light & Sound", pandai sida ngeluluka utai, rindu amat ninga.Ba Karnak TempleTu ba holy of holies ba temple, ti endur pharaoh nyimpan patung Amon. Utai ti baka perau nya endur patung Amon diengkah. Tiap pagi pharaoh ngunsut patung enggau minyak sereta nyembah Amon. Sekali setaun patung Amon dibai nemuai ngagai Edfu Temple ti endur bini iya Smut diau. Smut pun sama patung! Dia seduai kawin sebulan dalam setaun begulai pia ku jerita. Hai wai, patung sama patung kawin!

Urang Egypt dulu kelia nyembah mayuh petara, enti meda ba dinding ba kubur Valley of the Kings enggau ba rumah sembiang, tak jerita pharaoh enggau bala petara aja-aja ditulis ngena hieroglyps. Patut Allah Taala meri pengasuh ngagai Moses enda ngasuh urang Israel nyembah patung, semina nyembah Allah Taala siku aja, pia ku dadi nyebut.Ga maya nya urang Israel ga nyadi ulun di Egypt lalu kedua nyu teperasuk nyembah patung.

Mami
Cruising ba sungai Nil, peda pemanah panchar mata ari lebuh ia ka padam.
Tebing sungai Nil.

Tu gambar cruise ship kami, the Nile Ruby. Mayuh amat kapal bakatu mai bala temuai merau nengah sungai Nil. Tu dikumbai sida "floating hotels" din.
Tu ba restaurant ba Nile Ruby. Bilik hotel standard. Tiap ari bisi high tea atas deck. 5 kali makai sari, Indai Maie lalu betambah meh kilo...
Reception ba Nile Ruby.

Tu baka gamal cruise ship tauka floating hotels ke nengah sungai Nil. Sungai Nil sigi mayuh sejarah, kena bala Pharaoh dulu kelia. Aku lalu bebayangka Cleopatra merau dia.

Felucca sailing ba Aswan.
Early morning ba pasar Aswan. Lembau nungga kupi, tak bekerak gamal kedai nya, apa bulih buat, kami dibai tour guide kami kia.
Tu ruti filafel, di pakai sida enggau mayuh bengkah sayur sereta isi daging ke digulung-gulung. Tu ke dibantaika manah, bisi kedua ta di araka ba kaki lima, pia ga kamah, bedebu, pia ga bau tai jelu, pia ga mayuh sampah ba tisi jalai....
Sailboat ba Elephant Isle di Aswan. Pulau tu ke dipeling kami maya felucca sailing.
Makai ba Nubian restaurant. Peda tudah ke begendang, belagu ka kami deh, nyu kediri.

Nubian food - salad enggau humus. Aku semina makai hummus, digaga ari sesame seed, nyamai. Tang ka nyam-nyam makai enggau ruti filafel, ngingatka ruti ke di jembi sebelah kaki lima maya kami raun ba pekan Aswan.

Tu manuk enggau ikan dipanduk chara "Nubian".Enda masuk tua dadi makai.
Ngetu ba rantau jalai mansang ngagai Alexandria, Gaga amat bala laban dia bsii Coffee Bean, bisi cafeteria ke standard. We miss Malaysia!
Ba Alexandria
Tebing tasik mediterranean digambar ari dalam coach.

Ba tebing tasik Mediterranean, Fort Qaitbey. Tu enalan the Lighthouse of Pharos, siti ari 7 wonders of the ancient world kelia. Shortly udah begambar, Maie telephone "Dadi, uncle Sudin udah mati", pia ku iya. Tua melaki bini lalu ngetu, duduk sereta besampi. Kasih meh Judy enggau bala anak iya ditinggalka laki mati. Let perpetual light shine upon him O Lord, may he rest in peace.
Ba tebing tasik Mediterranean.
Siti agi gambar Fort Qaitbey ba Alexandria.
Ba siti park di Alexandria. Aku baru sedar, apai tuai uhang Dijih ta main meri tanda peace, nama mulaika pengingat maya zaman 60an kelia ulu? Zaman Woodstock?

My land, my country, tanah ai menua aku

2009-12-05T15:20:00.030+08:00

We cleared another 22 acres of land in October to expand our smallholding of oil palm. Land clearing took two weeks and now planting is on-going. Dadi came back from Selangau this afternoon and told me it will take another 2 days to complete planting. Perfect timing, we can now go in peace to the land of the Pharaohs and Nefertiti.

I had the opportunity to view the land prior to clearing and took pictures of big, tall trees, some of good timber quality - nyatoh, keruing, selangan batu. Our headman gave me an education, he told me the names of the species. Dadi's brothers and relatives asked to be given some of the timber for their own use. Well if you stay in the countryside and in Iban territory, there are many uses for which the timber could be put to. Dad engaged an expert saw man to saw the remaining logs for our own stock. There's plenty of timber for extending our back side store and another langkau at the new site. We gave names to our plots: there's Luau (dadi's birth place), there's Danau, cos there's a big, about 4-acre fish pond by the slopes; there's Subis, named after the limestone hills of my birth place where the world-famous Niah Caves are located and the new plot is Peninjau - named after a place near Niah - we named it so as the terrain is rather hilly, as you can see from the pictures below.

Another plot we plan to cultivate is Dadi's ancestral land, about 40 acres and its located at Sg Sawa. The name Sawa is phython in Iban - the name does not hold any appeal, after all phythons are creepy, slimy creatures and my greatest fear when trudging along country lanes is snakes. I really hate and fear snakes. Two months ago when our durians had ripened, Dadi took Igat and I to our piece of land along Miri-Bintulu Road to harvest the fruit. I walked gingerly on the leaves-strewn footpath, remembering the big, black cobra I saw near the bamboo bushes about 22 years ago when we first cultivated the land. Begedi. Aku. Ka. Ular. Ukai. Bula.Bula.Takut. Ee. Cha.

Regal, majestic, tall and proud

There's a small valley in the middle of the land, always filled with life-giving water.

I couldn't helped myself, I took a parang and cut away climbers at the bases of the trees. What do you know, some 30 minutes later I managed to clear the bases of about 20 trees. And I felt good. Dadi tched ... tched .. tched with annoyance "you'll hurt yourself", "you'll get headache" - its a known fact among my family that I am very susceptible to heat stroke, almost always ending up with blinding headaches after an hour or two under the sun. Ga ia ngumba ka diri isi, kelia ni panas ke enda ulih dilaban. I told Dadi not to worry, there's plenty of shade from the dense foliage. And I told him it was calorie-burning, sweat-breaking exercise, with the parang in lieu of my dumb bells.

As I hacked at climbers, I thought of Dadi's deceased relatives who first cultivated the land years and years ago. There were no chainsaws then and they used axes to fell the trees. Big, tall trees you can't wrap your arms around. I marveled that they could clear such big plots with almost primitive equipment. Such passion. Such tenacity. Such vision. As I thought of their feat, as I saw the fruits of their labour, I was both awed and humbled. I am very certain that none of their descendants in this generation and the next will equal them in feat and valour. I said a prayer, asking God to give them a well earned rest in His blessed sanctuary. Let perpetual light shine upon them O Lord, and may they rest in peace.

When Dadi took the contractor to inspect the plot, he came home and told me his heart was heavy. "The trees are so beautiful and alive and green, we will not have such trees any more. All we have is sawit" so said Dadi. I understood his feelings when I saw the land myself. To paraphrase Shakespear, to do or not to do, that was the question. We decided then as many others in our circumstances would to proceed with our plan. We had invested quite a substantial sum in acquiring the land, we need to expand our acreage and most importantly, we need to cultivate it so our children and grandchildren will know the location of the land and its boundaries.

Land disputes frequently occur among the Iban community as our ancestral lands are not titled. Thus when the elders passed away and the successors do not know the land and boundaries well, it is quite common for others to claim the land as theirs or if they own an adjacent land, to encroach on their neighbours'. Land disputes always happen when the land has been identified for development. Dadi lost several acres to such encroachment. We confronted them and sought the assistance of the long house elders to mediate, in accordance with our custom. Sufficed to say that the only hope for a fair recourse would be to turn to the native courts. However they are relatives and suing them would be painful for us. To comfort ourselves we told each other that they need the land more than we do. I hope that their apparent shame and discomfort each time they meet us, each time we continue to lend a helping hand to them will teach them not to do to others what they would not want others to do to them.

As it happened, their grab has been to nought. 11 years had passed since the land was developed by a timber conglomerate and the land owners, including us (we placed 2 plots under the scheme) had not received any dividend. The sawit is growing well. Yield is plentiful. But no dividend. Perplexing, don't you think so? I guess may be the conglomerate should have stuck to their timber business, they sure made money from timber.

One passionate land owner. He talk sawit, think sawit, eat sawit, sleep sawit. Last weekend Pi, Igat and I were groggily, literally dragged from bed as he wanted us to leave for Selangau at 5 am. The plan was to leave at 6 am, there's no hurry as my brother in law had been commissioned to send the workers to the site first thing in the morning. But my sawit-crazed husband conveniently abandoned the plan and woke up at 4.30 am, woke me up and asked me to dress up, ready to go. I wailed, "Dadi you promised we leave at 6 am". Hm baik tak payah. I grumbled.

Except for a sawit-crazed husband, nobody wake up at such an unearthly hour unless somebody died or there's an emergency. So I continued sleeping. Nama utai diperumban. Ukai bangat enda makai ku aku mutap. About 20 minutes later the phone extension in my bedroom rang. I knew it had to be my husband ringing from downstairs, to wake me up. I ignored the phone and the ringing stopped. Another 20 minutes later he stomped to the bedroom, turned the lights on and woke me up. Defeated, I got up, not a word passed through my mouth but I let you guess what was in my heart. After showering I woke Daphne and Gavin and the troop left for Selangau at 6am. It has been our routine for me to lead the prayers while he drove but that morning, sensing he had three sullen, sleepy passengers, Dadi led the prayers. The children and I, how could we stay annoyed when praying? I must say with God's grace we have the ability to instantly put our hearts right with God. You would too if you say the Lord's Prayer, like this:-

Our Father in heaven, holy be Your name,
Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as in heaven
Give us today our daily bread, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us
do not bring us to the test, but deliver us from evil, Amen.

A section of the cleared land.

We told the children not to sell the land when we are gone. We told them they should also acquire land when they are financially capable in the future. Gavin chipped in, "do not sell at all dad?" Well, you can sell if you need the proceed to acquire another landed property, said Dadi. To sell the land would be a great dishonour to our ancestors. They toiled long and hard. They lived hard lives. For the Iban, when the land is gone, what do we have to depend on? As Pi and I sat underneath the palm trees last Saturday, waiting for the workers to break for lunch, we had this conversation:-

Pi: If our economy becomes so bad like in the US, we will not have to starve isn't it mum,? Remember what we saw on TV, there are many people who are living in tents in the US because they lost their homes.

Mami: No, we will not starve. As long as we have our land, we will not starve, we will grow our own food. Our ancestors lived on the land, they planted, they harvested, a large part of our community is still doing that now. We are descendants of hard working people, their determination runs in our blood.

Pi: Mami, none of my colleagues and my friends have this kind of experience, actually going to the farm and to help out (read this - we cooked, we only went to the site to bring and serve lunch).

Mami: I don't think any of my colleagues are doing what dad and I are doing now. They most probably stay at home, watch TV or at the golf course, golfing.

Lengka tauka enda

2009-12-05T14:24:00.010+08:00

Besadung ai tikah
Apin lama tu kemari tua melaki bini berandau ngenang atur pengawa maya kitai Iban melah pinang enggau ngintu pemati. Enda milih ba rumah panjai tauka ba nengeri, ma nikah, siti pengawa ti enda tau enda dikereja pengantin indu enggau lelaki, ia nya nyadung 'ai tikah' kenu ku kitai. Tuju tu manah, laban nya peluang seduai nabi tiap iku pengabang ke ngulu gawai tikah, pia mega urang ke datai meri selamat ngagai seduai. Tang utai ti enda berapa manah ba penemu aku nya besadung "ai tikah" laban ai nya disadung ngena siti gelas lalu semua urang ke dia bekunsika gelas siti nya aja. Nyampau wai nuntum utai ti udah ngundan liur mensia - enti 300 iku urang, 300 kali liur terengkah ba gelas. Kada enda sakit TB kedua, kada enda bisi hepatitis, kada enda bisi H1N1, tau ka penyakit bejangkit ke bukai. Keji amat aku, tang serba salah, enti enda ngirup nyu enda meri selamat ngagai urang ka nikah. Nya alai aku poh muangka gelas diri empu lalu ngasuh pengantin nyalinka ai ba gelas aku empu. Enda nyamai amat asai, gila enda dikumbai urang sumbung. Tang aku mikir, aku bertanggungjawabka pengerai diri empu, aku bisi kuasa ngereja utai ti patut kena ngintu pengerai diri. Pelaba aku atur ti bakanya tau dibuai, manah agi maya seduai ka ngirup champagne ba pentas begulai enggau apai indai semua pengabang sama nyeradakka ai diri empu. Pengantin agi ulih nabi temuai tang enda besadung arak. Kadang-kadang kasih ga aku meda, dini enda lelak tudah nyadung utai ngagai urang mayuh.

Main judi maya nyenggai urang mati
Apai Maie nusi sekeda rumah panjai ngemendarka urang bejudi maya nyenggai urang mati. Kenu ngambika urang enda tinduk, awakka sama bisi enggau sida sebilik ke empu pemati bejaga. Apai Sampai mega nusi ba menua sebengkah, mungkang niki bala China, sama enggau bejudi. Indu lelaki bejudi magang. Enda manah amat pengawa bakanya ba penemu aku. Ba maya tusah kitai nyu ngelantangka ati, nyu enda masa urang ke mati, urang ke empu pemati. Urang tusah kitai richah-richah bejudi. Nadai urang empu pemati nagang kitai tinduk, tang kitai enggai meh ta enda enggau bejaga. Nya meh tanggung pengawa tuai rumah enggau tuai-tuai rumah panjai, ngirit nembiak ngambi nyaup bejaga, nyaup mela, nyaup mutarka pengawa. Kitai ke nembiak mega sama betanggungjawab, enti kitai enggai diteju nguan bangkai bala diri empu, kitai anang nejuka urang nguan bangkai bala sida kediri.

Ngirup ai bisa maya nyenggai urang mati
Tu nyu udah nyadi siti pengawa ti enda tau enda maya nyenggai antu. Enti urang ke empu pemati enda meli ai bisa, kumbai lukek, mutap bala, ngumbai urang ke empu pemati nengelamka duit tulung. Kadang-kadang pulai, muchau, madahka nadai utai di empa, pia. Kala ngirup sampai mabuk bala sida ke lelaki. Kadang-kadang tak mayuh agi duit tulung kena meli arak, mimit aja kena meli lauk. Kadang-kadang nadai ungkup urang ke enda ngirup, laban enda dibelika ai kutak, tembu tak abis duit tulung kena meli arak. Aku enda lantang amat ati meda utai ti bakanya, laban nya pengawa tusah, ukai pengerami. Enti pengerami baru kitai ngirup ai bisa, enti maya tusah kupi enggau teh nya meh di irup. Uji belika pemakai bukai enda manah agi. Minggu tu tadi maya ke bekenangka pekara nya, Maie lalu nyebut, Mami, enti kita udah diambi Tuhan ila, enda kami menyadi meli ai bisa Mi, ku Maie. Au anak ku aku, anang meli. Pangan ke amat, ke kasih, ke sinu tetap deka nyenggai kitai taja nadai ai bisa. Enti pengeka kitai nyenggai urang bepanggai ba pemisi ai bisa, manah amat kitai ngabas ati diri, nanya ka tuju kitai ke ngulu pemati. Kitai ngulu pemati kena ngenataika penyinu, kena merindang ati sida sebilik ke tinggang pemati, kena masa iya ke mati. Nadai urang mesanka kitai mai nyenggai ketegal bisi ai bisa diirup. Ba senentang tu, tau amat bala tuai rumah enggau JKK ngaga atur ngubah penyakit ti bakatu. Aku nemu sigi tusah amat ngubah utai ti nyu udah nyadi baka tradisi, tang enti iya digaga enggau aum, enggau pakat, tentu ia ulih gaga.

Randau ruai

2009-11-14T18:08:00.006+08:00

Jerita lintah
Ipar aku nusi iya ngagai bank empai lama, lalu betemu enggau mayuh bala ke dikelala. Nya meh bala bejeritaka penusah setengah rumah panjai ketegal lintah. Laban ke ka nambahka penatai pemisi, sekeda bala di menua din enggau urang belajar nupi lintah. Bala tuai rumah mungkang disponsor MARA. Tuai rumah kami enggai enggau, nangi enggai ke enda kur, enda alah lintah tak lepas ku ia. Kami serumah enda enggau urang magang. Kenu enti udah besai, rega lintah RM120-150 sekilo, ari puko RM2000/ ulih ngasilka penatai RM12000 - RM14000 dalam kandang enam bulan. Amat bulih tahan nya, tau amat diuji enti ka.

Tang meh di menua din, tak enda gagit bala nguji, pungka nyau mayuh amat bala mutapka sida ke nupi lintah. Entah angka kurang jaga kini, bisi lintah lepas ari sarang alu diatu mayuh ba ai sungai, bisi disebut sida nama sungai ke semak menua Dijih ke bisi lintah. Kenu lintah nyu bisi nginsap bala, kedua nyu enda nemu diri diinsap lintah, nyepi ta gatal, silak ka kain peda ta bisi lintah ba pah ..... mula la jerita.

Ee kita ke indu anang kemi di ai, enda alah inggap lintah pia ku apai Nyah. Ee, aku enggai enggau kitai nebang mulong ila, enda alah lekat lintah ku indai Pawa. Eh, anang nangi nuan endun, ku apai Nyah, ngena chawat ke hapit kitai, tanchang kaki tanchut, enda lintah tama, pia.

Nya meh ipar aku nusi siku apai tuai ke ba bank alu mutap, "tak bedau baka kitai nya ga sida ke nupi lintah.." ha ha

Apai Nyah alu bejerita. Agi mit kelia, aku ninga jerita sida niang indai ku iya. Bisi sanu jadi enggau sanu, tang bini iya enggai ka iya. Enda begulai meh seduai. Sekali nurun ka umai, iya mansa sungai bini alu kemi. Tak nengkerut ba tebing sungai, kelisi ka kain, alu kemi. Udah datai di umai nyepi tak gatal pah, silak ka kain, peda lintah benung nyumpin ba pah. Nyerauh bini, di sah laki, nama deh, tak diketup laki iya lintah, labuh meh lintah ari pah. Udah nya nama deh, nyu ka meh bini ke laki iya, pia ku apai Nyah. Indai Ngelai lalu lekik-lekik, mayuh amat penumbuh jerita aki tu, ku indai Ngelai. Ee amat uchu, ga urang indu kelia ma ka kemi sigi ba tebing sungai, ku apai Nyah. Nya sigi amat uchu, ku indai Nyala, ma ka kemi sa indai, tak dikelisika kain, udah. Ni mandi ga telanjai urang tuai kelia, pia.

Ha ha aku alu bekelekik enggau bala ketawa, mayuh amat tuju lintah, kedua kena nambahka penatai pemisi, kedua ngerawanka menua, kedua nyadi buah kenang bala penanam sawit ba bank, kedua ngasuh bini gaga....macham-macham lintah...Angka tau ga kitai nguji enggau urang nupi lintah, enda pia...

Jerita chikungunya
Aki Bantan, benung nyudu-penyudu makai, tumbuh tak rebah ke tisi, lalu jam.
Apai Simba, benung meremi, ka angkat udah makai, tumbuh tak jam, enda ulih angkat.
Indai Ngelai, benung gawa ba kebun sawit, tumbuh tak lalu tetungkam, jam, nyu ulih bala anak iya ngiring, betungkat pulai ke rumah.
Indai Sapit benung gawa ba belakang rumah, tumbuh tak tepelilai, nyu be entawai ba dinding rumah mulaika diri.

Ukai anchi-anchi enti kena jangkit penyakit chikungunya, tak lalu jam. Kenu ku bala kaban aku ke gawa ba spital, sakit nya ngasuh buku tulang pedis. Penyakit nya datai ari nyamuk. Amat kitai gerai dalam sari dua tang isi agi tubah pedis, kedua udah sebulan sakit agi meh pedis sebelah siku, buku ali, jari, ...uchu Bantin nyentukka pansut utai be igi igi ba tubuh, baka sakit gelumut. Nyu nyelupu kulit tudah uchu, tama spital Sibu iya.

Nya meh, nama mayuh amat penyakit, tak nyelai suba H1N1, nya sigi penyakit terebai nya, pia ku indai Ngelai. Betul amat utai disebut iya, sigi amat penyakit terebai H1N1..

Nya meh sekeda randau ruai kami serumah lemai mari. Ku jaku ka mai urang nanam sawit saritu tang ari ujan, nya alai asa tua dadi. Mau tak mau ngasuh urang nangkap kontrek nanam,arapka enda lama meh urang nanam, ngambi tua dadi ulih belelak & nadai utai dikenangika agi udah tu.

Pun bungai aku udah dipelepa

2009-09-09T23:28:00.011+08:00

Lemai tu kami sebilik, mindai & menyadi nerima penatai temuai ari Asap enggau Sibu. Sida datai, ka melepa pun bungai ke ditanam tua dadi, pia ku jaku aki urang lelaki. Ka tanda melepa, dia apai urang lelaki meri dadi parang ilang. Kenu ku adat bansa Kayan, ilang ke tanda urang melepa temuda ke endur bumai, ngambika enda di ambu urang bukai. Ku adat kitai Iban nuku. Pengawa ke nangkan ka tu bedau ditetap, nganti penembu pengawa ke ka dikereja seduai empu tubuh. Iya ke lelaki ka ngambi postgraduate setaun di LSE, bekejang ari enam tu ila. Tu gambar kami.

Begambar bebala mayuh: aki ini & apai indai Cris, dadi, Tuai & aku.

Ini & indai Cris
Aki, menyadi & bala ari sepiak lelaki
Apai Cris & mandal Tuai Rumah ari Asap.
Indai Kumo, Maie & indai Muntai
Dadi, ika aku apai Julie & menyadi aku apai Sampai.
Indai Sampai, apai Kumo, Tuai duduk begulai enggau ibu Cris ke nyadi Tuai Rumah sida di Asap.

Bala ari sepiak lelaki ari Asap & Sibu.

Selamat Ari Pengada ke 22, Sayau!

2009-08-24T06:16:00.008+08:00

Erica Sarah Sudan at 5 months.

Erica Sarah Sudan at 3 years, on her birthday. As mischievious as the smile. She climbed windows and staircases.

Erica Sarah Sudan at 3 years, tired after raun-raun at Pontianak in 1990.

Erica Sarah aka Bungai Terong (http://ericasudan.blogspot.com/) during Christmas 2008.

Nuju anak aku ke dikerindu, ke dikesayau, ke bagas, ke mentas ati, selamat ari pengada ke 22 taun ngagai nuan saritu. Taja kami enda begulai enggau nuan, nuan di ati belama. Awakka Allah Taala merekat nuan belama, awakka Iya nyaga ngemataka nuan, meri nuan pengerai, pengelantang, pengerindu, pengeliat ati, pengering, awakka nuan mujur ba pelajar enggau semua pengawa bukai, Amen.

Return of the Beloved Son

2009-08-22T21:30:00.002+08:00

Igat datai pagi tadi, chuti seminggu. Tengah ari tadi kami merarau, indai enggau anak menyadi aku dua iku bisi nemuai. Igat ari kemari udah mesan ngasuh aku manduk lauk ke diketengukka iya - daun ubi guring enggau sayap manuk panggang. Acih ulu, lagi-lagi daun ubi, lagi-lagi sayap manuk! Aku sigi gagau berengkah ari lemai kemari - udah berapi lemai aku lalu berengkah ngaga pineapple cheesecake (favourite Igat) enggau banana cake. Nyau pukul 9.30 malam baru aku tembu.

Bala ketawa ninga aku nusi jerita Sudan. Tua Sudan berandau ba talipun kemari lalu iya nusi diri tusah ati maya pulai hari raya ila ketegal enggai dibai tua apai iya makai lauk "sihat", lauk rebus-rebus. Aku ka nganjung nyawa makai aku Mi, ka makai utai nyamai, enggai aku dibai seduai dadi makai utai sihat-sihat, pia ku Sudan. Ee, anang irau di anak, enda aku mai kita makai utai bakanya. Tu adi nuan datai pagila udah distok aku meh peti ais dia ku aku. Bala pangan Maie ke nemuai sarinya pin ngerara peti ais aku kusong, muti bisi buah enggau sayur mimit... nama guna aku nyimpan utai mayuh, ukai bisi makai, mesa ni utai di empa tua dadi.

Apai enggau bala anak.

Igat Besai (Belayong), indai aku & Kulan.

Indai aku. Eh, nyau baka anak mit aku makai endu, nyau bisi labuh sebelah baju utai dipakai, ku indai. Nya alai sepiak baju iya basah, udah ditipuk enggau ai...

Tu pineapple cheesecake, di idang Maie begulai enggau fresh strawberries & chocolate syrup.

Nuju Sudan: Bakatu utai ka dipakai nuan Met?

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away

2009-08-20T22:46:00.011+08:00

The message was brief, it said "Father Wan is critical in ICU Miri GH. Please pray now". It was 4pm last Tuesday, 18 August. I was alone at home, under strict orders to have bed rest after a bad back sprain. Daphne, who took leave to mind me since dadi was away in KL, had gone to pick up Cris from the airport. I immediately prayed the Divine Mercy, pled with God to spare his life, told God that He needs a shepherd for His flock, so heal him, please Lord. Whilst praying my cell phone went ting tong ting tong, signalling the arrival of new messages. Prayer done, I read new messages to say that he had passed away and another to say that that was a false alarm, his heart stopped (or, as Daphne said, went asystole) for 15 minutes but they managed to revive him. Then began the calls to pray for him, to pray for God's mercy to preserve his life.

Wednesday came and the report from Miri was bad. He was on machines to keep him going. I called Pat and we decided to pray for God's will to be done. If it is Your will Lord that Fr Wan should survive, let it be done, Lord. But if it is Your will that he should go, let Your will be done too, Lord.

This morning Daphne smsed to inform that he could go anytime, he was in real bad shape: acute renal failure, suffered heart attack, high acidosis, eyes were dilated, not responsive to light. Stephen, the head of our Visiting the Sick ministry smsed, asked everyone to pray the divine mercy during mercy hour. So it was at 3pm today, in unison, from our respective locations, at home and offices, we surrendered Fr Wan to the Lord's mercy and prayed for his peaceful death. At 8.45pm tonight, the long suffering servant of the Lord breathed his last. Dadi and I prayed the rosary for his soul. I turned to Job in my grief, trying to find comfort from Scriptures. "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord!" (Job 1:21). "We accept good things from God; and should we not accept evil? (Job 2:10). I recalled the thanksgiving mass and dinner held for him last month, to mark his 32nd anniversary as a priest. He came to our table, invited us to visit him in Long San, said its a beautiful place, said we got rooms with nice view, asked us to contact someone to arrange for transportation and said na huh, the road is fanstastic, don't worry.....little did we know then that that was to be our last supper with him. We will miss you terribly Father.

O Lord, have mercy on the soul of Father Anthony Wan. He died in hope and may he share the glory of Your resurrection. Let perpetual light shine upon him O Lord, and may he rest in peace, Amen.

Semadi

2009-08-14T23:13:00.008+08:00

Ari nyau jauh malam, tang mata aku enggai tinduk, nya alai aku blogging. Tua dadi bisi ngulu farewell dinner ke bala staffs kami ke deka pincin tadi. Aku ta semadi amat enggau, tang dadi keran amat ka mai aku, iga nuan enggai deh, nyadi kaling aku la nuan, nama pengawa nuan nyadi Uging di rumah kediri legi ku dadi. Hmm, semadi meh, ketegalka darling mai aku ka kaling iya, nurun ga aku. Ka best amat aku gali melapik ba sofa, meda TV tauka macha bup, betelipun enggau bala anak....

Aku lalu begari berumban-rumban, ga aku bara jengkak-jengkak exercise tadi, nya meh maya beradu nyau peluh nerusan. Enggai lekat makeup. Ah, merinsa ndar kita tu ku ati aku, mutapka peluh, tak enda bekerejasama enggau aku, enda nemu aku ke berumban. Udah ga ngerangkaika buok, udah ga sigi enda nemu iga ngesep buok enggau manah (ia enda nya kebuah aku bebuok pandak, ketegalka nadai pengelandik enggau urang ngesep buok bemacham stail). Di ajar hairdresser ke suah endur aku masu/ngesep buok aku bakanika ngesep buok: madam ku Jeniffer, kamu mesti pakai hair dryer yang kuat, macam saya pakai, baru dapat kasi rambut mati ku Jeniffer, enti buok udah "mati" baru ka disugu, disep enggau manah. Au, ngiga meh aku hair dryer ti ku iya, bisi tetemuka ba Farley, tang ma aku ngena enda ga aku nemu ngaduka buok manah baka enggi tukang guntin, baka enggi urang. Eh kapa, barang baka ia meh ku aku, asal enda chukak-chukak buok, enda la ta baka Minah Tunggit gamal kitai nurun gawa & ngulu function.

Dah nya pasukka baju, rigau-rigau ngiga accessories ke patut kena nipak baju. Ga aku cherida, barang kemas, tinchin, gelang enggau tenggak gula batu tak din dia endur aku engkah, ba jemari gelas di baruh, ba dresser, ba altar, ga ma ka ngena abis sarang kutak dibuka, ngiga ni bagi ke ka dikena. Minggu tu kemari aku ka KL, peda deh sepiak antin ta agi ba kucik beg ka selalu kena aku travelling. Nya sigi gaya aku. Wei, utai gula batu meh ku aku madahka apai Maie ma ia ngehaha (munyi ku uhang Dijih) aku ngena accessories baru, - hmm ia meh, tenggak gula batu Monet, antin gula batu Liz Clairborne, kutai munyi ku Dor; nya siti agi penyakit ti tusah dibuai, ka amat meli utai gula batu. Apai Maie enda memunyi, angka iya ngira manah agi diatu enda baka maya aku agi zaman jahiliah menya munyi ku Melayu, udu amat kami sida Idu, sida Nuai, bebelika emas. Tua Nuai raun ngagai New Zealand sempat meh meli emas. Ia ga enggai mit utai dibeli, nyau kaling-kaling meh tenggak dikena, nyau baka ke disepu lenggan ma dipasangka sa gelang....ma bisi pengawa SIDS tak kebelik emas bala, ga kami kala dirara siku penghulu suba. Aku gi nguluka urang amu bakanya. Ukai semina amu, tang vain, tang showy, munyi ku omputih. Ba chukup, nyampun, kelia. Bidik maya nya nadai mensia jai baka diatu ke ka ngeragut barang kemas. Diatu, dini ka ngena emas kuning nya agi..di trade in aku enggau precious stones, ka digalauka bala anak, tang Maie enggau Sudan tak enggai ngena. Tak pandang mereka. Ee, nadai kami begunaka utai nya Mi, nya ke kebelik kena nuan nya baru kami ka, ko nganu kitai. And by the way, ku penemu aku manah agi kitai indu ngena barang gula batu, ambi kitai enda diragut urang. Barang gula batu memanah, mayuh amat fesyen, ni pemilih kitai kena nipak gari, ia ga enti chun sigi striking amat dipeda, ia ga rega jauh lebih murah ari emas (enti kitai enda milihka bisi brand).

Au pulai ngagai jerita semadi. Semadi aku pansut ari rumah ma aku udah pulai gawa. Ga enti bisi utai dibeli sigi terus ngagai supermarket ma pulai ari upis, ngambi enda nurun baru udah datai di rumah. Aku muti mindah malam ari dua enggau ari tiga laban cell group meeting enggau holy hour. Kalimpah ari nya aku mindah ma bisi nemuai ngagai bala kaban, tang diatu laban ke jerebu, laban ke penyakit H1N1, tak enda beundang pangan diri bala. Ku sa anak tua apai sida nadai life, tuchum dalam ati aku ninga sida munyi nya. We've been there, done that, children, in our young days. Now those things do not hold much appeal anymore. After a day in office, to be able to curl on the sofa and read or watch Hallmark movies, CSI or murder mysteries and a cup of coffee and cheesecake is bliss at our age... kita badu enda meh anak, agi biak, baru pansut ari kerungan. But that is not to say kami duai apai kita enda game ga, bisi maya game, agi tau dikenyadi, tang with the right company, good ambience, agi ga ulih masang lagu "Your Cheating Heart & Duduk Berimbai" (lagu wajip dadi, ga enda nemu mai lagu bukai deh, selalu off tune...) enggau keruncung sa Pauline Linang kelia for me...Neh, ni kita nemu poco-poco, wai anak?

Kala indu enda ingatka anak diri empu

2009-08-06T17:00:00.025+08:00

Kala indu enda ingatka anak diri empu,
lalu enda rinduka anak ti diadaka iya? (Isaiah 49:15)

Dadi (sms): Kasih bini enggau anak aku, berumban-rumban breakfast, nurun tumu pagi...dini seduai diatu.
Aku: Sempat kenduai bfast, baru otw KLIA.
Driba : Flight akak pukul berape?
Aku: 11.35 pagi
Driba: Lame le akak tunggu nanti.
Aku : Tak pe, demi anak, akak rela tunggu bejam-jam.

Dua minggu ti udah, Igat sakit, pedis pala, pedis rekung, batuk engggau chelap angat. Nangi aku, angka ta penyakit ti benung ngerawanka mensia di serata dunya diatu. Udah berubat ngagai lutor luar, Igat gerai. Enda mukai-mukai seminggu udah nya iya sakit baru. Kami baru pulai sembiang ari minggu minggu tu tadi lalu Igat telipun madahka diri sakit baru. Aku ngasuh iya betemu enggau lutor lalu ngasuh iya minta throat swabs. Seari-arinya kami tiga gagau laban bala pangan merarau di rumah kami: sida Rose (anak iya Osbert godson tua apai Maie) menyanak bisi datai ari KL, lalu bala pangan Maie ari KL & Kuching pin bisi nemuai. Aku mega mai pangan aku Monica enggau sida Eileen menyanak (indai Priscilla, best friend Maie kenyau ari kindy kelia). Lama amat kami berandau, merarau berengkah ari pukul satu, sampai ngirup kupi maya ngalih ari. Maie, Pris enggau Cris ngelayan bala temuai ke biak, tua dadi ngelayan bala pangan lama. Nyau pukul 5 lemai baru bala pulai.

Udah pemulai temuai baru aku ulih telipun nanyaka berita Igat. Dadi udah telipun maya ngalih ari, Igat nusi diri udah ngagai lutor. Maya aku ke telipun Igat nusi diri benung sakit amat, pedis pala, ma chelap ma angat. Iya madah lutor muti meri iya antibiotic ke bisa agi enggau panadol.

Udah aku ninga Igat agi sakit, aku lalu tusah ati. Peda aku dadi nadai pengirau, tak majak be sms. Lalu nyida aku, meda dadi tak enda sama nangi baka aku. Eh, nama utai dikirauka nuan, ok Igat deh, udah berubat ngagai lutor ia tadi, pia ku dadi, majak ga be sms baru. Lebuh aku ke dikempiaka dadi, aku lalu ingatka jaku nabi Isaiah ke ditulis aku ba pun jerita tu. Aku lalu nudukka diri ba bilik sepiak, pia keberai ai mata, pia sembiang rosary enggau divine mercy, pia besampi, nyerahka Igat ngagai ibun Indai Maria Dara Tuchi.

Sapa indai ke enda tusah ati enti anak sakit ba menua urang, kelebih agi maya bisi penyakit ti bejangkit baka kediatu, sapa indai ke enda beraie ka anak ti pedis, sapa indai ke enda berasai enda puas ati enti enda ulih ngibun anak ke sakit, sapa indai ke enda sedia nganti anak mikul pemedis, enti sema ulih diganti, ngambika anak enda pedis, awakka kitai ke tuai ke pedis, laban kitai teleba agi nyepi pemedis. Aku lalu minta saup Pat (godmother Igat) sama besembiangka Igat. Pia aku betelipun ngajar Igat bakanika ngibun diri empu. Telipun ngagai warden sida nadai nyaut ga ajuh inya. Udah dadi ka kiruk-kiruk makai baru iya nguang aku, merap aku lalu menyamai ati aku. Anang tusah ati nuan, ku dadi, enti iya balat bisi urang ngibun iya. Enti iya agi ga sakit pagila, ukai semina nuan aja, aku tu chuti meh, sama kin tua ngibun iya, pia ku dadi. Nyamai mimit ga ati aku. Malam nya aku enda tentu ulih tinduk, hand phone sigi enda dipadam, aku udah mekat Igat telipun ngagai aku enti bisi nama-nama hal.

Puji Tuhan tumu pagi ari siti (ari satu) Igat madahka iya bisi baik agi, tang agi batuk enggau pedis rekung. Seninjik aku sigi bisi pengawa di KL, aku lalu bekejang kin ari dua. Datai din pukul 6 lemai, aku lalu mai Igat bemalam enggau aku ba hotel. Igat lalu nusi iya dianjung warden ngagai klinik pukul 2.30 dini ari ketegal sendat seput. Iya enda telipun madahka tua apai iya, nadai meh seduai ulih kitu malam ari, pia ku Igat. Ninga munyi nya aku lalu mutus nganjung Igat peresa enggau silik. Taja iya nadai chelap angat, iya agi pedis rekung enggau batuk. Aku mai Igat ngagai HKL (Hospital Kuala Lumpur) - aku enda nganjung iya ngagai spital prebet laban sida enda ngambi throat swabs, tambah ari berita ti diayanka ba surat kabar, spital perintah bisi protokol ti silik enti sida nyangka urang sakit H1N1.

Kendua menyanak datai di HKL jam 7.45 malam, tama ngagai A & E, lalu diasuh urang ngerijista ba OPD. Aku lalu tekenyit meda mensia naka pemayuh ba OPD, benung bebaris nyuaka kad enggau ngambi gintir. Perening aku ke kiba, perening aku ke kanan, peda aku anak mit, besai tuai, tak beterengkung batuk, tak chelap angat gamal. Naka meh tu deh deh ku ati aku. Aku lalu besampi, minta serayung the Precious Blood of Jesus, ngambi semua ka bisi dia enda dijangkit penyakit ti disenakut. Udah ngerijista aku lalu diasuh urang nyuaka kad ngagai bilik siti. Dia dua iku urang gawa, lelaki (angka dresser kini), nanyaka pemedis, ngambi blood pressure enggau pengangat tubuh. Sida lalu meri tua Igat siti pom, di asuh ngagai lab. Ngemayuhnya ga mensia ba lab. Udah urang ngambi darah Igat, tua nganti ba bilik sepiak. Din ngemayuhnya ga mensia, bebaris baru, bisi 30 minit nganti baru results blood test Igat keluar. Aku lalu sempat macha results blood test, peda tak within range magang ga. Aku ingatka Maie nyebut ngagai aku empai lama tu kemari, lutor ulih nemu sekalika kitai bisi kuman ari pemayuh WBC - enti count iya tinggi reti nya sigi bisi kuman ba tubuh.

Sejam tua menyanak degi-degi nganti ke betemu enggau lutor. Pia ga, mensia tak penuh, ni bala anak ke tinduk dipangku, ka ampit kerusi duduk ba kerusi, ka enda ampit duduk ba pemanggai semin ke ba tisi pintu cheremin. Peda aku siku anak laut kira umur 7 taun rising-rising nyabak, mua baka ke chelap angat, apai iya bara tinduk duduk sepiak iya. Kasih amat aku meda iya, aku lalu besampi, minta Jesus negu nembiaknya enggau jari penyuman Iya, awakka nembiaknya gerai. Maya ke nganti aku sempat sembiang rosary enggau divine mercy, sembiang dalam ati, minta pengasih Tuhan ka semua ka bisi ba spital nya, awakka semua suman. Bedau abis dekad rosary aku indu misi nganggauka Igat, tua menyanak lalu tama betemu enggau lutor, siku indu tambi. Iya meresa dada Igat, nanyaka pemedis, lalu madahka Igat dehydrated. Ari nya tua menyanak ngagai farmasi ngambi ubat. Nyau jam 11.05 malam baru tua tembu, lalu pansut ari A & E. Puji Tuhan ke pengasih Iya, baka ke dipadah, tak datai teksi, tak ka apai tuai tambi nganjung kami duai pulai ka hotel sereta enda ngechaj sebarang, ngena meter. Terima kasih Tuhan ku aku, Nuan ngirumka pemanah kena muai penyai - driba ke nganjung kami duai ka HKL nyayat tua menyanak, enda bemeter.

Tiga jam kami duai ba spital, aku lelak amat, dibai aku pulai ka hotel Igat, din tua ngudar room service ku aku (tua bedau makai, laban sebedau nurunka HKL tua sempat enggau cocktail ba executive lounge). Tang Igat madahka diri ka supper, ka makai braised pork ribs ba Jln Alor, lama amat aku enda makai babi mi, ku Igat. Kin tua iya, tak makai asi manah meh tua iya, ga sama lapar. Tembu makai bakanya tadi ga, tak pansut ari restaurant, lalu bisi teksi mansa, lalu ka nganjung tua Igat pulai ngagai hotel. Tua iya diau ba hotel Melia, semak amat tang aku nyau kelalu lelak, nya alai enggai bejalai. Manah apai tuai tambi nya, ngena meter kin. Udah mandi Igat lalu nyium penyium, merap pemerap, laban lelenggau. Mula aku datai enggai iya nyium aku, semina ka diberap, laban iya nangika diri sakit. Berandau meh tua menyanak. Igat nusi bala pangan iya sms, nanyaka pengerai iya. Nama nuan megauka urang mi, ku Igat. Eh, nadai aku megauka urang deh, Aunty Pat ke madahka bala pangan bukai, minta sama besembiangka nuan ku aku. Nemu magang meh bala geng aku mami, ku Igat. Nya manah ku aku, ngambi mayuh agi ga urang besampika nuan. Tua menyanak laun tinduk malam nya, laban berandau.

Tu utai ka diperatika aku maya ba HKL:-

1. Urang ke gawa ngintu pengerai dia manah amat, manah jaku, mentas enggau urang sakit, mimit nadai meh aku ninga sida nenggil urang, ga pemayuh mensia, nyau beratus-ratus iku malam nya. Lembau kedua nyau tiga empat kali ka rauh-rauh nganggauka nama, enda meh ninga, empa pemayuh urang. Hm, enti bisi microphone manah agi ku ati aku din, kasih bala indu misi rauh-rauh pedis rekung nganggauka mensia.

2. Kita ke bedau beranak, ingat, anang ngaga nama anak panjai-panjai tauka nama ti tusah disebut. Kasih aku ninga bala indu misi nyau bebendar nyebut nama bala anak Melayu ka bedirit tiga iti, ka bisi ngambi sepil jaku Arab, tambahka enggau bin enggau binti agi. Kelimpah ari nya enggaika sida diketawaka urang enti nama tak panjai-panjai sereta nyelai. Pia mega lelak ngisi pom enti nama panjai, kadang-kadang nyau enda umbas ruang endur nulis nama.

3. Sekeda apai indai sampal bebai ka bala anak, nyengkaum sida ke gerai. Salah amat tu ku ati aku, spital tu palan endur urang sakit, palan endur penyakit. Tak baka buyah ke nabakka diri ngagai api sida tu mai anak ke gerai kitu.

4. Bala ke gawa ba HKL chekap amat ngereja pengawa. Muti ba lutor aja lama nganti laban semina dua iku aja lutor ke gawa malam nya. Ba farmasi, aku lalu ngitung berapa iku urang ke ulih dibela sida dalam kandang 20 minit - maya aku ngambi lumur, sida benung mela pesakit lumur 5820, gintir Igat lumur 5860. Kira 20 minit udah nya nyau datai gintir Igat - retinya sida mela 2 iku pesakit dalam kandang seminit. Ba klinik bayar di Bintulu tu nadai meh sida ulih nyuaka ubat ngenyampatnya.

Enti urang ke gawa ba semua spital baka sida ke gawa ba OPD A & E di HKL, naka penyamai rayat berubat, lempung agi ga pemedis enggau penusah ti diasai enti urang mentas enggau kitai. Malam nya aku besampi minta Allah Taala merekat semua sida ke gawa ba spital dia, awakka Iya meri sida pengering, pengerai enggau pengaga ngereja pengawa.

Au, Igat naka pengaga bemalam enggau aku. Tu nah, gambar anak bengkang aku.

Tu gambar benung breakfast ba hotel. Tu real treat Mami, ku Igat, merinsa amat makai utai ba kantin di kolej din, nyau puas, ku iya.

"Mummy, I am my father's son. I don't like trying something new" pia ku Igat. Dah aku pulai bejalaika pengawa ba Putrajaya lemai nya, tua Igat nurun makai. Tua iya mansa siti kedai makai ka nyual cantonese food ari Hong Kong, ba endur basement Parkson suba, aku lalu mai iya nguji makai dia, tang iya enggai, enggai enda ba Noodle House. Kin ga tua deh, ku aku. Ku jaku ka makai ba Dragon-I di Pavilion, tang kendua menyanak sama lapar, nya alai enggai nganti agi, laban Pavilion jauh agi ari Hotel Melia.

Tu ba mua Pavilion, semak ai panchut ti baru.

Pagi tadi sungkam lam tua Igat nurun laban iya bisi kelas pukul 8 pagi, nya alai aku nganjung iya ngagai kolej dulu, udah nya aku lalu teruska airport, lama aku nganti, nyau 3.5 jam nganti flight. Tang munyi ku aku nganu driba airport limo ke mai tua Igat pagi tadi, "tak pe, demi anak akak rela tunggu bejam-jam". That's not a sacrifice on my part, anything done for love is a joy and a blessing, praise the Lord!

Anang perasa, anang saru

2009-08-01T11:25:00.028+08:00

Sekali agi aku nyadi Uging saritu: dua iku kaban ke enggau Maie sekula ari KL enggau Kuching bisi nemuai ngagai kami lalu sida udah keluar ngirup sereta meli utai kena manggang, sida ka ngagai tebing tasik Tg Batu lemai legi manggang din.

Subsidi minyak injin api & injin sepit.
Dadi udah nurunka Skuau tumu pagi tadi, kami sebilik ampit diberi urang subsidi minyak injin api - subsidi ti disemayaka perintah maya rega minyak ti balat niki taun siti tu kemari, baru disuaka urang ujung minggu tu. Kenu ku TR kami penyampau RM700 sepintu - sayau enti enda di ambi ku dadi, pama meh kena aku ngaji urang gawa ba sawit. Tang aku iran amat ga merati, bakani upis DO di Selangau netapka sapa ke bulih enggau sapa ke enda bulih. Kebuah pia, bisi tiga iku kami serumah ke sigi bisi injin api, ke seruran masang injin api belama (kena injin masu gari, kena bepedaka TV) tau enda bulih. Kasih aku ke sida, kelebih agi laban dua iku nya sigi urang ke beratka pengawa rumah panjai, ke kisuk, sama melaki-bini, ngintu penatai bala pemesai, kelebih agi bala YB ke datai. Siku (gawa di Bintulu) mungkang chuti minggu tu kemari ngambika ulih ngulu kursus JKKK di Sibu, ti dipejadi MP Selangau. Aku lalu berat-rat mekat dadi ngasuh TR kami mansik kebuah tiga iku nya enda diberi ungkup, sereta ngasuh TR ngiga chara bakanika sida tiga tau diberi ungkup. Anang perasa ku ati aku din, meda sida nya nyamai dipegai, enda ningkah penemu mayuh, seruran ka bekerjasama, enda alah sida tak ngelidas, kada ulih pujuk. Enti upis DO deka mansik sapa ke amat bisi injin api, injin sepit, ukai nya tusah sida ngenataika diri ba rumah panjai kami, enda datai 10 minit rumah kami ari pasar Selangau. Ngelantak kening langkau injin api kami serumah ba ujung bilik, pia ku enggau.

Pandak
Bisi dua minggu ti udah siku pemesai di upis bisi nyebut utai ti enda nyamai didinga. Udah tembu baum, kami pansut ari bilik, udah nya iya lalu madahka pengurang pemuas ati ketegal bala indu ke diambi kami gawa apin lama ti udah enda berapa peninggi. Aku lalu jampat nyaut iya, 'Eh, God judges the heart", ku aku. Majak ga iya nyebut, ni nuan deh sanu ku iya nganu aku, "you are about 5 feet" ku iya. Atai apai tuai tu ku ati ku din. Aku lalu bejagang, "You are judging people from their physical attributes only. Thank God, God judges the heart. If God judges like you do, habislah kami ni". Mua iya pin bebali, lalu guai-guai iya nyurutka diri, udah dimeriam aku. Kapa enda ku ati ku din. To me if people think they are God's gift to women or men, they should really look at themselves first, not the face or figure but the soul.....even if their soul is spotless (more so if their soul is spotless), they should realise that all are God's creations and God makes everyone, everything beautiful. Evil comes from us. Beauty is in the heart, for from the heart arise all decisions to love, to hate, to do good, to do evil, to fear God, to do to others what we want others to do for us. That's precisely why God judges the heart. Gamal enda ulih di ubah, kenu ku urang tuai, tang ulah, runding enggau ati ti jai ulih diubah, ngambi kitai dipeda Allah Taala holy and blameless in His sight, munyi ku Bup Kudus (Ephesians 1:4).

Anang saru, aku enda pedis ati enti sema iya ngumbai aku pandak, kapa aku kiruh ka iya, munyi ku indai aku ke kala ngajar anak menyadi aku ke kala sensitive dikumbai urang pandak, utai ke ulih kitai ukai bepanggai ba peninggi enggau pemandak kitai. Kedua, aku ukai bansa urang ke nadai pengarap ba diri empu (insecure), enti aku bakanya, angka ga jaku iya tau numbuhka tanda tanya ka pengurang diri empu, ti tau ngenusahka ati. Ukai aku ngumbai diri mayuh penemu, tang enti aku enda nemu ngereja pengawa, aku enggau naka ulih belajar awakka nemu. Enti aku enda nemu, lalu aku nemu utai ti di asuh gaga sigi enda ulih dipelajar pia aja enti nadai urang ngiring, aku lalu terus terang madah ngagai management aku enda nemu, nama utai ti disalam.

Utai ti ngasuh aku gidan lebuh aku ngelabuhka jaku munyi nya laban nama kaul pemandak tauka peninggi enggau pemagas, pemanah ati enggau pengelandik ngereja pengawa? Nya utai ti dipeguna. Kedua, aku gidan ketegal apai tuai nya udu amat milih urang ke diambi gawa. Siku nembiak enda diterima iya ketegal tudah ke gemu, di asuh iya kurus dulu baru tau ngelapurka diri kereja ba kempeni kami. Nyau stress tudah nembiak nya tadi; aku nemu laban nembiak nya pangan semak Maie maya sekula suba, dataika saritu. Manah ulah nembiak nya, bisi basa, pintar meh nembiak nya. Udah ke stress, nyau enggai nembiak nya nerima pengawa ba kami, iya lalu bulih gawa ba upis perintah, nyadi siku pemesai. Nya, enda sayau kempeni kami enda bulih urang ke tau dilatih nyadi siku urang ke landik gawa ketegal ulah apai tuai tu tadi. Aku lalu berunding, enti sema kami bisi begunaka tulung nembiak nya ma bisi hal, bakani enda kami ulih ngenebalka mua minta tulung, kumbai enda bisa sain nembiak nya diatu. Suba bisi ga sekali, indu manah tubuh, tinggi, sereta numbas iya ga pemanah gamal. Indu nya dikanggauka interbiu, tang enda bulih. Nusi bala ke ba interview panel, madahka indu nya "kau". Eh, ku apai tuai tu tadi, nama enda di ambi kita deh? Peii, munyi ku Andan.

Pagi ari siti peda junuk-junuk apai tuai nya tama ba upis aku, ka meda utai ti di asuh sida karang aku ngambika nyukung peminta kempeni kami ngagai perintah besai. Diperatika aku, nadai nya-nya gamal iya, baka ke enda ingatka jaku aku kemari. Udah iya macha utai ti digaga aku, iya lalu muji utai ti digaga aku, manah ku iya. Nya ia, ku ati aku din, aku tu enda makai jaku puji dik aku tu sambi sambi....Udah nya nyau ka buya nesal ga aku, bangat tak bos urang ke di embalka aku kemari....

Jejak Kasih - Sebugey has the story, I got the pictures

2009-07-20T18:36:00.022+08:00

Last Saturday was one of those moments when dad and I had an urge to drive to Miri just for makan angin - to have breakfast at 2020, a coffee stopover at Ipoh Kopitiam for dad's favourite kuay tiaw soup and olang tengok olang at the Bintang Plaza. My mother was visiting, so we took her along. We zoomed for 2 hrs and reached Miri at 8.15 am - met Sebugey, apai Jill and my aunt for breakfast at 2020. Daphne and Cris joined us later and as we were exchanging family news, along came my cousin Mary, the DJ Mary Bajang. Food was good and the company was excellent - it was indeed a very pleasurable way to spend Saturday morning. So here are our pictures folks....

The DJ berindu kasih with my mum and aunt.

Nama, nama utai ke diketawa?

Mum is suffering from leg pain and despite several visits to our local gps, her condition has not improved. So I took her to see a doctor as well - Sebugey recommended a gp, so I took her there - the doc said there's something wrong with her nerves and she also has osteoathritis. Mum was given glucosamine on top of a jab and painkillers. Next was to visit my father's grave. While my family and I visit my father's grave frequently (this is our 2nd visit for the year), mum has not been there for years. After praying, mum said (to my dad) "Nyamai nuan diatu wai, udah di serega." Then she told me of her dream some years ago. "Udah din apai nuan Yang, aku kala bemimpi meda niang apai nuan biak amat, begulai enggau apai Jini". (Jini is Sebugey, or as aki Lakam called her, "Gini") Mum continued "Niang apai nuan enda bejaku enggau aku. Kami ka mindah maya nya, aku bedau tembu beradu. Meda aku bedau tembu, apai Jini lalu mai apai nuan mupuk. "Tinggalka Jeburi nya, lama amat iya", pia ku niang madi aku", said mum. Puji Tuhan indai, niang apai enggau niang madi nuan udah di serega ku aku.

Flowers for a much-loved and still-missed father. Apai, may you rest in peace.

On the way home we stopped at Niah, tanah ai menua aku. It's the beginning of durian season at my kampung, so we had durian for tea. My sister served us a late lunch - belauk tubu undang, daun ubi kusuk, buah dabai, chabi guring gulai belacan, daun ensabi enggau kari rusa rusi....anang ngining kita..(Sebugey enda ngining, enda nemu belauk daun babas iya). My aunt, my mum's younger sister arrived from Miri and we had a pleasant time berandau. My folks wanted us to stay for the night but dadi insisted on going back, pasal apa, pasal mau tengok football match Manchester United vs Malaysia live from Bukit Jalil. Now, at this very moment as I am blogging, he is watching the 2nd match...

This is our dabai, fruiting. Soon its harvest time... nyamai amat dabai kami tu.

Rambutan is also fruiting.

At the background is the kuini tree I used to climb when I was in my junior secondary. The tree must be about four decades old now. I didn't climb the kuini tree for the fruit, I climbed it to outdo my cousin Raphael in singing. Raphael's house was by the hillside, across the road from ours, so when he sang his voice could be heard from my house. Piqued that his voice could be heard loudly and because yours sincerely thought she could sing better than Raphael, she climbed to the top of the kuini tree and sang at the top of her decibels...sampai nyau raguk rekung, ba dadak.

Raphael was my punching bag, when I played hooky during my kindergarden years, I splashed mud on my uniform and told my mom it was Raphael who did that, so that was why I just had to go home. I couldn't very well stay in class with a dirty dress, I told my mom. See, awal-awal saya sudah belajar jadi luyar buruk. After many incidents, my mom wised up and I was given a good thrashing. When we walked home from school and the bigger boys and girls ran fast and left us smaller kids behind, I cried and told my mom Raphael was the bad guy - I blamed him squarely. When I lost to him playing ingka-ingka, running and swimming, I made faces at him and called him "Reno" - Reno was a derogatory name, Raphael hated the name. Despite those childhood spates, Raphael did not hold any grudge against me. We are still friends to this day. Raphael got himself a good wife and has beautiful kids, praise the Lord. And the luyar buruk became a real lawyer, still brash at times (a throw back to those mischievious growing up years) but God-fearing, mostly solemn and serious, sensitive but forgiving, stubborn at times but has a lot of love to give and determined, at times wont take no for an answer and worked to achieving it with or without others' help - did I tell you I dug our very first fish pond (10 ft x 3 ft) - got my maid to help me, just because dadi said no, no fish pond. See, I was so in love with the koi fish, I must have them and build a pond for them at the front yard. Dadi said no, not interested in that and refused to help. But when he saw me and my maid nyangkul penyangkul, he said "Stop that. Ba dik pama, pama, enda ulih enda dititihka"... so next day he got me some workers and a week later my pond was all done....Despite the trying times with my antics over the years, dadi, during the silver jubilee celebration, thanked my mum for giving him ME for a wife ....wee wit, pama meh, ku Jumau.

Kediri

2009-07-12T20:36:00.004+08:00

Rumah sunyi, nadai ninga utai engkeretik. Maie nyau makai lemai enggau pangan iya. Apai Maie nyau ngagai rumah anak petunggal iya, laban sida sekaban bisi utai dikerandau. Aku enggai dibai iya, enda poh jenggu-jenggu ninga sida berandauka temuda, tambah aku ka rileks, udah bekau ke mela saritu tadi. Aku ngajar bible study ba Sunday school nya alai ma udah tembu sembiang missa sigi berumban belama ngirup enggaika laun tama kelas, kelas berengkah jam 9.45 pagi ngagai 10.45 pagi. Pulai ngajar, aku lalu guai-guai manduk lauk. Laban saritu ari pengada Maie, kami tiga ngintu di rumah - makai tengah ari, laban malam Maie keluar enggau pangan iya makai. Nya alai aku manduk lauk nitihka utai ke ka di empa iya - manduk kari pala ikan stail tambi, manggang babi, manduk daun entimum gulai buah entekai enggau tubu undang, sereta ngukus ikan garupa mirah. Tinggi tungku aku, munyi ku urang tuai, nyau pukul 1.15 ngalih ari baru kami tiga makai. Enda lebu ga aku, bendar seduai mapai makai. Tembu makai aku lalu ngaga bubur kasak laban Apai Maie agi belala makai bubur minggu siti tu kemari. Aku tembu kiruk-kiruk di dapur jam 2.30 lemai, nyau pukul 3 baru ulih gali. Amat aku lelak tang aku puas ati laban dadi enggau Maie gaga makai utai dipanduk aku.

Lemai tu aku ka nemuai ngagai sida indai tang sida nadai dia, nyau pulai ke rumah panjai. Tadi tua Maie ngagai sida indai Muntai nganjung bubur, nadai ga urang dia, muti ama sida ke bisi. Pulai ke rumah kiruk-kiruk baru ngaga jus - enda ibuh makai lemai tua ku Apai Maie, makai buah aja, udah kenyang makai bubur...tak cakap awal bang, saya dah goreng changkuk ku aku......nama deh, ta di empa apai Maie pia meh changkuk nya tadi. Diatu aku nyadi Uging, ngirup kupi enggau makai ruti sebayan sambil blogging ....ga aku kediri di rumah, nadai laki, nadai anak, nadai indai, nadai madi...

Aku enda nyamai amat ditinggalka Igat ke udah nurun belajar di KL. Ma aku udah enda betah, sigi keberai ai mata aku nyaya ngenang Igat, pia ngenang Sudan ke benung summer program di Budapest. Ta tiap ari aku besampi minta Tuhan nyaga, ngemataka bala anak. Ga indai aku nundi aku, lelak Tuhan ninga nuan Yang, nyau besampi belama, ku indai. Uum, ngerara aku, ia ta dua kali lima tua iya. Indai aku tumu belama dani pagi, jam 4.30 sigi udah angkat. Iya lalu sembiang rosary, sampai abis 15 dekad sekali sembiang. Sigi besampi meh iya ke bala kami menyadi, bala menantu enggau bala uchu ichit. Iya kala madahka aku iya minta Tuhan meri pengering ngagai iya, awakka iya ulih nerapi penguji ari ke mela bala ichit. Taja iya lelak mela bala ichit, iya bisi pengelantang. Bakanya meh pemanah Allah Taala, ma kitai ngereja peneka Iya, Iya sigi mantu kitai, sereta Iya enda ngelakka kitai diuji ngelui ari ti enda ulih tatka kitai. Puji Tuhan.

Pagi tadi Igat nusi diri masu gari iya, nusi diri makai oat enggau buah anggur ke breakfast, keberai ai mata aku. Ngalih ari tadi sms ga Igat, nanyaka pengawa kami. Benung makai bubur ku aku, keberai baru ga ai mata aku. Oh, kelalu nuan ku apai Maie, nama utai disabakka bala anak, senang Igat din. Lemai tu tadi Igat nusi sida sembiang missa ba chapel di Nilai, kolej sida bisi nyendiaka bas kena nganjung sida sembiang. Lantang ati aku ninga nya, nadai utai dikirauka aku senentang kini enggau sapa urang enggau iya sembiang agi.

Sudan hapi amat munyi (kati ke enda deh mami, pia ku Maie, chuti Met nya din, dini enda hapi) gaga iya nusi diri nyau ka tiap ari meda bala lutor mutung urang, lalu ari lima tu kemari iya dikemendarka lutor nulung muka jait (sutures), seronok ku iya. Hmm, manah meh enti nuan seronok ku aku, reti nya nuan milih the right course ku aku. Enti malam happening amat kami ditu mami, dibai urang keluar belama, ku Sudan. Eh jimat ku aku, anang enda nemu nyaga diri, ai irup anang enda nyaga enda alah ta disimpanka urang utai sengapa. Au mami, pia ku Sudan. Raun kitu seduai dadi, ku Sudan, manah amat Budapest..Umm, enda dalam list menua ke ka dilawa aku nya.....

Pengerami Jubli Pirak

2009-07-07T17:55:00.013+08:00

Kena 3 July, tua apai Maie nyelamat diri ke udah jadi melaki bini chukup 25 taun nengah sembiang missa ti dipejadi Fr Justin Dan ba rumah kami. Kami menyanak mutus ngintu pengerami ba rumah ngambi lebih personal, ulih begaul kin kitu, bala ulih mai nembiak mit, sereta nadai letak jam maya pulai. Bala kami sekaban enggau raban cell group & raban gerija ke bukai bisi ngulu pengerami nya, kira-kira bisi 150 iku bala ke datai. Bala raban cell group aku enggau kami sebilik mela missa, Margaret ketuai choir, Maie & Pat Kok macha 1st & 2nd readings, Pat Fonseka sembiang intercessory, ika aku apai Julie nyadung holy communion. Pengerami berengkah enggau jaku pengelalu ari Maie, udah nya muji & nyembah, sereta ditangkanka enggau missa. Udah homily, tua apai Maie ngemaruka sumpah sabung jadi, lalu udah nya Father merekat kami duai. Udah tembu missa, melah kek. Tu sekeda gambar kami.

Kek carrot digaga aku empu lalu dianjung aku ngagai pangan aku Vincent (Glory Cakehouse) ngasuh iya ngias, lalu Vincent mega ngagaka aku cheese cake & chocolate cake ke dessert kami malam nya. Pemakai ditempah ari luar lalu kami sebilik mega bisi nyendiaka lauk kitai Iban baka pansuh enggau panggang.

Melah kek

Berengkah ka ngemaruka sumpah besabung jadi (renewal of marriage vows).

Dadi renewing his vow to love and cherish me ...

Aku nimbal ...

Tu vow dibacha seduai pia ku Fr Justin

Bala pangan ke ngulu missa

Bala anak cell group aku & choir mistress Stella Maris, pangan aku Margaret Jolinu benung nyilakka bup lagu, besedia ka berengkah belagu kena muji & nyembah dulu sebedau missa berengkah.

Bala ipar aku, apai Nyah & indai Ninoy & indai aku, benung ka berengkah sembiang.

Bala kaban cell group & sebilik

Bala ari rumah panjai

Indai Julie, Indai Ana, Julie & Indai besapi bala anak Julie ba dapur
Bala bujang mit
Bala ari rumah panjai

Fr Justin begulai enggau sida Albert & Irene sebilik.

Ika aku apai Julie & petunggal aku apai Ninoy

Enda ingat, nama utai tundi sida Father Justin ngagai aku.Father Justin rindu makai bubur kasak ke digaga menyadi aku indai Ana.

Apai Nyah enggau action iya.

Daphne & Cris begulai enggau bala anak Julie, Aaron Jaul & Ann-Marie Jeburi

Maie & Igat begulai enggau bala kaban seduai: Daphne, Crispin Ali Basah, Daniel Liman, Mark Patrick, Rex Fonseka (godbrother Igat) Igat & Marie-Ann Ali Basah

Indai Aaron, nyulu bala ke mela makai

Sida Scot, Cady & indai iya, sepiak indai Mark.

Bala kaban apai Maie ari upis.

Julia, Edward & family, Becky & Richard

Fr. Justin

Bala sida indai Stephen menyanak
Bala pangan cell group: Meg Lucas, Dora & John & anak (Gabriel) & Pat Kok

David & Alice & family.

Indai Biron, Indai Thomas, Ngayan

Ika & apai Kumo

Bala ari rumah panjai

Apai Ana, tinduk udah lelak mela jani, manggang & mansuh...

Tinduh dibai indai Birun ari Mukah, RM26 sekilo..

Mumai, indai Ngayan, indai Nyala & indai Deniis & anak-anak

Tu gambar siang ari, maya bala manggang & mansuh.

Retreat for leaders by Father Rufus Pereira from India

2009-06-13T18:36:00.007+08:00

Son and I just got back from a three day retreat with the internationally respected Catholic priest and exorcist, Fr Rufus Pereira of Mumbai, India. About 300 participants from throughout Sarawak came to the Catholic Pastoral Centre at Kemuyang, Sibu, to join the retreat from 9-12 June 2009.

Fr Rufus is especially dear to us from Miri diocese as he was instrumental in giving birth to the renewal movement in the diocese way back in 1979, at a retreat held for the Bishop and priests. Filled with the Holy Spirit from the retreat, Bishop Anthony Lee began the revival of the diocese, invoking Pentecost on all parishes through the Life In Spirit Seminars. The Holy Spirit is working more than ever and in Bintulu, the Catholic community is vibrant, growing every year since the last decade, with the baptism of about 300-400 catechumens annually. Our parish has 71 cell groups and we have evangelization, RCIA (right of Christian initiation as adults), family apostolate, youth, Sunday school and benevolent activities ministries.

Fr Rufus has been involved with the charismatic renewal since 1972 and today through his ministry of healing and deliverance, has become India's foremost Catholic evangelist. He is a columnist for Holy Spirit Interactive and editor of Charisindia you may refer online for these sites). He is the Vice President of the International Ministry of Healing & Deliverance.

Fr Rufus has been given by the Holy Spirit many gifts and the Lord worked many miracles through Fr Rufus. Through him the holy Spirit healed a leper boy who later became a preacher, delivered many from possession by the devil, healed paralytics, enabled barren women to conceive, caused many conversion of hearts and many other marvels. However, as he told us, we must seek spiritual healing first, then physical healing will flow through it (Mathew 6:33: Seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and all of these things shall be given unto you").

What spiritual healing is required? As sinful as we are, what is there not to heal? We sloth, we lust, we are full of anger, full of pride, we are envious, greedy, and a glutton.... Or we or our ancestors could have been involved in occult practices, this requires deliverance..

It was for me and most of our group from Bintulu (about 40 of us) a spiritual journey and a joyous encounter with the Holy Spirit. I was lucky to be counselled by Fr Rufus personally and both my son and I were "slain" by the Spirit - a few seconds after Fr Rufus prayed over me, I became weak and folded, caught by the assistants and laid on my back. I was conscious, I could feel a warm rush from my calves going upwards to my head, especially felt at the back of my head. There was this restful feeling, and peace came over me. I don't know how long I rested in the Spirit before I sat down and got up. Jud who was beside me also got slain and she cried loudly, cries of repentance, cries of healing. There were those who suffer from serious cases of possession and you could see some resisting the Holy Spirit, they shouted, they jumped, they turned their faces away from Fr Rufus....then they were those who were healed from the pain of rejection, guilt, etc....we were awed by the mighty workings of the Holy Spirit through His servant Fr Rufus. Praise the Lord, alleluia!

Fr Rufus reminded us that we have been renewed and now sent forth to proclaim the good news!!

The Lord's servant, Fr Rufus in action: healing and deliverance
Fr Rufus in action: note those being healed by the Holy Spirit, flat on their backs.
My kaban, Beka, being healed by the Holy Spirit, or as we Catholics call it "slain" (resting in the Spirit)..
Blogger's snapshot with Father Rufus Pereira
Group picture
Beka, Jud & Richard and Fr. Rufus
My friends, Pat (Igat's godmother) and Clare.
Sisters in Christ: Jud (Judy Stephen), Beka (Rebeccca Bana) and me
Brethren in Christ: Dot (Dorothy Adrian), Jud, Alex (Ali Basah), Jo (Josephine Joseph) and me.
At the mass and faith rally, Sacred Heart Cathedral, Sibu on 11 June 2009.

Jerita Indai Ngelai

2009-06-03T19:24:00.004+08:00

Demalam kami serumah ngiling bidai, kena ngetuka pengawa berami awakka bala di rumah berengkah gawa. Ta nama utai ti agi bisi, dibantaika kami magang. Kami ngirup kupi lalu bisi ga sida lelaki ke ngirup mimit. Kami nadai bemain, muti berandau enggau betusika jerita ti ngasuh ketawa.

Bakatu munyi sekeda jerita ti ditusi bala (sekeda jerita ke enda tau ditusi, ketegal iya bisi ngundan leka jaku ti kamah). Dua iti jerita tu ditusi indai Ngelai:-

Jerita meli agar-agar
Maya ka semak hari gawai, bini enggau bala anak siku tuai rumah mesan ngasuh iya meli agar-agar laban iya ka nurunka pasar Selangau.

Ani: Meli agar-agar nuan legi apai.

Apai Ani: Au. Ba bilik ni bisi nyual nya?

Ani: Eh tak tanya nuan aja meh, nemu China utai ku nuan.Tu gamal iya, baka tali pisang.

Apai Ani datai ba pasar. Iya enda ingatka nama utai ti diasuh anak iya beli iya. Asaika "luchang" nama utai nya ku iya.

Apai Ani: Tukay, bisi nyual luchang kita? (China Selangau nemu jaku Iban magang, sigi enda ngena jaku Melayu urang din laban bala Iban din ke tuai-tuai enda nemu jaku Melayu)

Tukay 1: Nama utai luchang nya?

Apai Ani: Ga ia luchang, luchang.

Tukay 1: Enda aku nemu utai ku nuan nya. Ngiga di bukai nuan.

Apai Ani: Bisi nyual luchang kita tukay?

Tukay 2: Nama heti utai luchang?

Apai Ani: Ga ia luchang, baka tali pisang gamal iya.

Tukay 2: Enda nemu aku utai ku nuan.

Apai Ani (ngagai kedai ke3), bakanya tadi ga tanya iya enggau saut China.

Apai Ani: Eh, baka tali pisang iya tukay. (Apai Ani lalu nengkadah katas, lalu tepedaka bungkus agar-agar digantung semak nya)

Apai Ani: Aa, tu meh ke luchang, utai tu.

Tukay 3: Oh, agar-agar nama utai nya, ukai luchang.

Jerita Nyumbuh Tunggal

Sekali indai enggau menyadi Indai Ngelai ke Sibu lalu nepan van sida serumah,begulai enggau sekeda sida ke indu. Siku ari indu ke enggau sida iya balu, udah mati laki. Ia sida datai ba Sibu sida bisi mansa upis perintah, lalu nyebut indai tuai ke balu tadi, munyi tu:-

Indai Tuai Balu: Kitu kami suba dibai urang niki ngisi pom, ba upis nyumbuh tunggal.

Ini Ngelai: Nama nyelai amat nama upis nya? Amat munyi nya nama ia?

Indai Tuai Balu: Ia meh, sigi upis nyumbuh tunggal ku urang ke mai kami.Semua kami nadai laki magang.

Ibu Ngelai: Eh, ukai nya nyumbuh tunggal. Pelaba aku ibu tunggal nya deh, ga semua kita ke enggau nadai laki magang.

Indai Tuai Balu: Ah, nya meh nama ia, ibu tunggal. Saru aku tadi, ukai nyumbuh tunggal.

Urang bukai ketawa magang.

Tu siti jerita di tusi sida - bisi indu siku ari Sg Anus nyebut bali nama pil peranchang nya "rachun ...." di sebut ia nama ikan nya... I leave it to your imagination to figure out the name of the fish...